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Set up a game with someone you genuinely like, who also genuinely likes you (in other words, a good friend who also likes to play 40K). Invite her to watch and also participate in your decision-making (letting the other player know it's going to be a slower game, with shared decision-making). If a friendly match between 2 people who like the game isn't enough to win over someone (man or woman, spouse or friend), that person is probably not going to like the game. If X-Wing has been her favorite, so far... well, 40k is the opposite. Slow, huge, and extremely complex, as opposed to X-Wing's quick, small, and pretty straight-forward (if not outright easy). Wouldn't hurt to go to a GW store or a FLGS first to let her look over kits (or completed models and squads, if your store has them), talking over the fluff and builds of the armies and seeing if there's one that appeals to her right out of the gates.

Meanwhile, you may just need to bear in mind that every relationship involves things that aren't shared by both people. My regular gaming group has a core of 5 guys who play 40K, along with various other tabletop games and RPGs. Of those 5 guys, 2 are married to women with no real interest in the game, two are currently unattached, and 1 has a girlfriend who just recently started building a 'Nids army. It's not something you can force... in fact, forcing it is likely to make it less fun, since ~good~ socialization is one of the many things that makes the game fun.