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@ChazSexington thanks. Yeah I shouldn't see it as failure (especially as its so easy to strip and repaint) but sadly something in me does and it takes me a long time to shake that feeling, if I can shake it at all- which is why I have a stack of boxes of half painted 'failures' that haunt my office. It might sound odd to someone on the outside, but its a very serious part of my illness and it not only affects my hobbies, but other more serious aspects of my life.
I have gone of advice on one of the large facebook groups for painting but did not receive the help I needed. I don't have twitter (not a fan of social media- I have facebook as a necessity rather than through choice) perhaps I will have a look at some point at it. I sometimes feel I have learnt all I can from 'looking' and actually need to be shown what I'm doing wrong.

@Desubot In a word- Anxiety. I will be answering this a little more in my next comment.

@JamesY thanks for your reply, it was very helpful to have someone say this. I dread the day that comes that I can get to the city and I have to step in the shop and make conversation with the staff. They seem dead nice ( I've been stalking the shop on facebook since I moved here!) and I have no doubts they will be happy to help- especially if I am spending money! But I dislike the thought off is having to explain any of this to some one face to face (being defined by an illness is awful, so no one wants to walk in to a new place and shout out about it! I guess it would be like a blind person walking in and shouting "hey I'm blind, make special effort with me!" (at least I guess it would be, I'm not blind, so I cant say for certain!) The staff would (or at least should!) be able to act accordingly to help the person out. Not see easy with an illness they can not see!) You don't want to shout out about it! But at the same time, by the time they have probably figured out there is an issue, its already too late and I would have been long gone, and back home! Or I have blown up because I just cant cope with what ever is happening, and they have no idea of what to do with the wreak of a mushroom that is now in place of the chap they were just happily chatting too. I don't think Anything in a GW would cause me to go nuclear (I have only ever had a couple of full blown melt downs in my entire life, and they have been cause from issues arising from bullying or from violence) , but I have never let it get that far- get in, grab what ever I had decided to get on the way over and get out before anyone speaks to me!

I don't want to be that person any more, but right now its too hard a step to want to take, even though I know the rewards I would get from it would far out weigh the first few horrid times of forcing myself to do it!

@Gamgee thanks for the advice, sadly for me I dont have a few people I get on with. I have one. 1. So I have gotten myself in a corner where I rely on the internet to discuss wargaming, but at the same time, even knowing how messed up it is getting me, being in contact with the very people that get me in these sort of states. Its a horrid circle to be in.

@pax_imperialis thanks, as other posters have said X-wing might be a good option for me. Seems very popular, and I'm on such a massive star wars kick right now, no one at home would notice another game coming in to the house, whats one more star wars box among many! I have a few FoW books I picked up, maybe I should try to get in to that as well. even just as another 6mm project, as I love 6mm ww2 minis, and I don't actually have any.

@Frozocrone thing is, I do get a lot of enjoyment from it, its just its too easy for outside influence, or my own worries, knocking back my enjoyment and replacing it with crushing feelings. I dont want to be damaging my health for a hobby, but with out it I would have a lot less to do, and it really does calm me a lot.

@Buttery Commissar thanks, yeah I do. Thanks, I try not too but its all to easy for people to do that to me- I dont even think they realise the damage they do.

@Talizvar haha it sounds exactly like you understand my position on painting! I think if I can get over these beginning hurdles, everything else will fall in to place. I'm certainly not shy, and have a lot of interest that I think make me at least slightly interesting to get along with, even if its not easy too! Modelling on my own is my best part of the hobby, but I think I would get so much more out of it if I had a reason to be doing it- being that showing it off to people or for games to play.


slight edit: sorry for the rambling nature of some of my responses tonight. Its late and I should be asleep but I'm a little worked up. Probably should have waiting till morning to answer!

 RexHavoc wrote:
@ChazSexington thanks. Yeah I shouldn't see it as failure (especially as its so easy to strip and repaint) but sadly something in me does and it takes me a long time to shake that feeling, if I can shake it at all- which is why I have a stack of boxes of half painted 'failures' that haunt my office. It might sound odd to someone on the outside, but its a very serious part of my illness and it not only affects my hobbies, but other more serious aspects of my life.
I have gone of advice on one of the large facebook groups for painting but did not receive the help I needed. I don't have twitter (not a fan of social media- I have facebook as a necessity rather than through choice) perhaps I will have a look at some point at it. I sometimes feel I have learnt all I can from 'looking' and actually need to be shown what I'm doing wrong.

I can't really help you with feelings - I would generally just say do it?

Thanks for all the advice, encouragement, recommendations and general chit chat. Its has really helped, and given me more to think about then I originally thought I need to think about.

It at least gave me some encouragement to do something to day, the result of which is this chap:



My first 40k mini (that's not epic scale) that may actually be finished- he would be except I have had to come to a stop, as I've been working on him since the minute I got up this morning. He needs his base, and those blue energy jam jar thingys need some work. But I stuck with it- even at the part where is was going horrible wrong (lucky my terrible photography skills cover those bits up! ) and think I have manage to pull of a reasonable looking space mushroom!


Thanks all, you have been a great help.

@Rex I completely understand what you are saying, and I definitely won't advise giving too much of your private life away. When you feel ready, a simple "I don't know many people around here and I'm struggling to find people to game with, would you be able to help me out?" will definitely get the wheels moving for you. What city are you in out of interest?

Btw your ork looks great. Very crisp colours.

 JamesY wrote:
@Rex I completely understand what you are saying, and I definitely won't advise giving too much of your private life away. When you feel ready, a simple "I don't know many people around here and I'm struggling to find people to game with, would you be able to help me out?" will definitely get the wheels moving for you. What city are you in out of interest?

Btw your ork looks great. Very crisp colours.

Thanks. Simple advice but its things like this that I need pointing out to me, I'm pretty good with the 'heavier' life stuff, but its things like this that I struggle with, I would have agonised for days over how to speak to someone in store and ask that- I would analyse each and every response and outcome, and by the time it comes to going in, I am already a nervous wreck because I have thought up 101 ways it could turn negative!

I am in Ireland, and the closest city to me is Cork. Its a fair distance from me, and I don't drive, which is why once my cash flow improves, when I make the trek to GW I have to make it worthwhile. €20 by train to get there, and that's a lot of cash for me to travel there, walk in and pretty much run out the door!

Thanks, I have given up trying to paint in a more grim/blanche/real style, as that never works for me. My painting always turns out so bright and cheerful, so for the Mek I thought I just roll with it.

I really like your ork. Your metallic highlights are excellent. I would recommend maybe starting up a painting blog here. The people who frequent the P&M blogs seem to me to generally be much more supportive than the general discussion or rules areas. It could give you proper motivation, it would allow you to share your work with like minded individuals, and you might get a few pointers here or there if you ask for it. Also, you could share your fluff!

If you've got some images of your 6mm, us lot at the GW specialist games forum would like a lookie

"I have recently taken up buying junk toys from the dollar store and repainting them with nail paint.

Its nearly the same thing but at 1/80th of the price of GW."

That is what I would be saying if I had not thrown so much money at this, "Hobby," to play this, "Game of WH40k."

There is so many better things to do and spend your time and money on that GW WH40k. However, grimdark future lore of WH40k is just so AWESOME!!!

If you feel like quitting then consider not spending money on this hobby. I believe that the 2nd or most reason why people quit wh40k is because of the money. People realize these little toys are not worth so much money and feel robbed.

You can spend time repainting the models that you first practiced on. If you dont like the way it looks then strip the paint and start over. Practice makes perfect.

Gordon Shumway wrote:I really like your ork. Your metallic highlights are excellent. I would recommend maybe starting up a painting blog here. The people who frequent the P&M blogs seem to me to generally be much more supportive than the general discussion or rules areas. It could give you proper motivation, it would allow you to share your work with like minded individuals, and you might get a few pointers here or there if you ask for it. Also, you could share your fluff!

Thanks. I find that leadbelcher is one of the best metallics to work with now, especially for gaming models. I use a mix of drybrushing and wet painting for silver, and it seems to translate well to 40k scale, even if its not award winning. I started up a Plog on here but it got pushed aside as a couple of weeks later I got mixed up in moving out of the UK. Perhaps I should carry on working on this project and posting, but lay of the other sections/groups where I it gets to heated for me (sticking to a P&M bolt hole!)

Selym wrote:If you've got some images of your 6mm, us lot at the GW specialist games forum would like a lookie

Sure, I have one here: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/666995.page

which is pretty much up to date, other than the most recent painting I have done (between the issues I laid out in this thread and lack of interest in it, I had thought of letting it slide into doom) but I keep the one I have one tactical command pretty much updated all the time. Perhaps I should have popped it in the SG section rather than P&M.


Edit: fixed the link I posted to the wrong log!

Cool grotz

@Grief: I find the value of minis just about works out for me. I price up my hobbies by how much an hour's worth of entertainment will cost me. A cinema ticket for a 2.5 hour film is usually around the £10 mark, so going to the cinema is a £4 p/h +snacks deal. For an average model for 40k, I can expect an hour or two for building and painting, variable time for display/pride in my work, and then a likely 5+ hours of gametime. After multiple games it ends up working out cheaper than a lot of other hobbies, and I still have some resale value.

 Selym wrote:
Cool grotz

My bad!

I meant to post this one! : http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/666995.page


Edit: I posted the wrong one a 2nd time! Not my morning today!

Damn that scenery looks fun

@oldzoggy tourble is I have already spent the money on it!

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/sunk-cost-fallacy

To me it sounds like you need a break from Warhammer until you want to come back to it.

That's excellent! Keep it up!

@ Rexhavoc I applaud you for your frank admissions about how you feel in the hobby currently. About 3 years ago (before 7th edition) I was incredibly burned out with 40k. I sold off most of my stuff (kept my core army) and dove into x-wing. It kept me occupied for about 8-10 months and then 7th edition came out. I ended up selling all my x-wing stuff to jump back into 40k.

Though now the cycle seems to be coming around again, as 40k has turned into a group of people trying to one-up each other with cheese (at least here in the DFW area) and smash face. This time, however, I'm going to 30k. I know you've stated that it isn't your cup of tea, which is fine, but for me it is incredibly more relaxed and low-key than nowdays 40k. Playing marines-on-marines makes the game more balanced and the people playing usually are sticking to the more fluffy nature of the legions they play. There will always be those who try to make hyper optimized lists, but hey I'm in this for fun!

I don't have the time or money to follow all the new armies/units that get dropped at what seems like a weekly basis. I wanted to try to be that guy last year, but now that I have a baby on the way - that decision was made for me .

Pretty much everyone here has it nailed boss: take a break, don't just quit; find another hobby to distract you for a bit; keep painting/building scenery; dive into your local gaming community and see what they like to play (even if it's not 40k).

Any other questions just ask dude. BTW your orks looks awesome, keep up THAT good work.

Phenomenal work Rex.

Now do another model, same standards. When you're done that, ask yourself, was it worth it?

That exhaustion you feel at the end? That's good. Means you accomplished something. But here's something to really help you out. That exhaustion is in many ways similar to the exhaustion from learning to talk with people. The only way forward is to allow yourself to get hurt, and go and talk to people. Start with random people if you need to get your feet wet, but get used to trying and being exhausted by it.

Ultimately, your goal here is to learn to talk with people without trying to anticipate what they're going to do or say next. You do that because you are scared to get hurt, and it sounds like you're trying to control the discussion is your way of minimizing that risk. It's super logical, but it hurts your relationships.

If you open yourself up to getting hurt, if you can say "I'm going to do this, and if they do or say something bad about me, then that's okay and I can just go and try again elsewhere", then you'll do fine. You'll learn from each experience. You'll get exhausted, just like you do from painting that model to such extremely good quality. But, in the same way, that exhaustion will be worth it, because you accomplished something.

Hope you find this helpful, and if you ever need a boost or someone to talk openly and freely with, send me a PM!

 RexHavoc wrote:

Selym wrote:If you've got some images of your 6mm, us lot at the GW specialist games forum would like a lookie

Sure, I have one here: http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/666995.page
which is pretty much up to date, other than the most recent painting I have done (between the issues I laid out in this thread and lack of interest in it, I had thought of letting it slide into doom) but I keep the one I have one tactical command pretty much updated all the time. Perhaps I should have popped it in the SG section rather than P&M.

My goodness!
Fantastic work
You must be one of those sensitive gifted artists... I have a couple friends that have huge armies of Epic that would kill to see your stuff on the table!
I am too committed to too many games to get into Epic now! Lalalala... nothing to see here... (why did I have to look? I have 6mm stuff, darn slippery slope)