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 adamsouza wrote:

 jmurph wrote:
Not your fault- bad combat system is bad.

Less bad combat system is bad, and more how random dice rolls work. Streaks happen. Averages happen over time.

In my gaming group, our Paladin with AC 21, is frequently the first one who goes down in combat.

Cultists had a 20% to hit, it's easliy possible to go rounds and not roll 16+.

I'm also going to hazard a guess that the DM doesn't use the flanking rule. As a DM I would have 9 cultists attacking the Paladin, terrain permitting, all with advantage.

Of course, the DM may have just wanted to avoid Total Party Wipe.

Nah, go for the TPW, but have the cultists take you prisoner to serve as the sacrifice which will allow them to summon their evil god into the world. Party gets to make super-dramatic escape from evil lair, maybe learn something new about the Big Bad of the campaign as they do so and the adventure is right back on track

I got loads of stories thanks mostly to an amazing group of people who just played off each others characters and quirks so well.

First is posted here (though it should be Ninja, not Monk).

My others are from the Dresden Files game I played throughout my degree (every week for four years, so there is quite a few). Currently jotting down all of the ones I can remember to write up and post here when I get the chance

DnD funny:

We are in a cave and trying to run into densely packed woods while some Ogre's are distracted. Three members of the party successfully made stealth checks to make it into the bushes. However, the Kobald and the Rouge both roll ones (a critical failure) and begin to fight over a single bush, not big enough for both of them. This is as the Ogres are returning to the area. The rouge (being a rouge), says, "I'm going to make a strength check to take control of the bush." Kobald, "FINE!"

Rouge: 14
Kobald: 11

"The Kobald is ejected from the bush."

The Kobald then shoots a giant arc of lightning at the cluster of Ogre's. It is so successful that the kobald is sent flying back into the bush that the Rouge is occupying. The rouge is left with three options on his turn.
1: Push kobald out of the way and go stab stuff...Fun
2: Grab kobald and bring him with me as I go stab stuff...Fun and Funny
3: .....I could grab the Kobald and play him like an electric guitar with lighting shooting out of the end....

DM: "I will give you both a +5 on the attack if you do that!"

Kobald: "I rolled....a 30"

Basically, a rock and roll show began...

Okay.

It was the beginning of a Dresden Files campaign. I was playing a human ex-IRA terrorist Francis O'Reilly who was currently working off a debt to the Mafia in Los Angeles, primarily by being the driver/bodyguard of Enzo Guiseppe, the young (secret werebear) grandson and heir-apparent to the Don.

During the first session my character had discovered the particular ability of his boss during an altercation with a mind-controlled member of the mafia who had attacked us. Our investigations into the forces which had turned him against the family had led to us kidnapping someone who had been supplying him with an addictive substance which had basically turned him into a mindless puppet.

We snatched the guy and took him to an empty motel to interrogate, wearing rubber president masks to hide our identities (Point Break reference, check). He was effective at resisting conventional forms of persuasion so Enzo suggested we show him something unusual to terrify him into talking. Cue Francis punching Enzo in the face to get him angry enough to lose control and shapeshift. This was successful.

However neither characters had considered the impact of changing into a bear whilst wearing a stretchy mask of Nixon. The end result was the bear clawing at its face to remove said mask before it was suffocated as the mask was pulled taught over its muzzle. Whilst this wasn't the awe inspiring demonstration of supernatural power that we intended, it did do the trick. The man, terrified by the growling, snarling bear in front of him wearing the deformed face of an ex-President, gave us our next lead which would lead us to a nightclub in search of a pale skinned, dark haired woman who was a frequent visitor.

Enzo then shifted back into human form. However he had forgotten that the mask was no longer covering his face and so revealed his identity to our kidnapped suspect. By doing so he had also revealed his supernatural powers, which he was ashamed of and desperate to hide from his grandfather and the rest of the family. The man had to be silenced, permanently. His instructions to Francis were vague, leaving it up to the alcoholic Irishman with a penchant for making things explode to decide how to deal with the disposal of the man. So Francis went shopping for some simple everyday items which, when mixed in just the right ratios, would make plastic explosive. The logic was simple, if the man were blown up then he would definitely be dead and identification of the body and any evidence linking him back to us would be difficult. Win-win.

So the time came when the man was bundled into the boot of Francis' 1968 Ford Mustang and then enjoyed a bumpy ride out of Los Angeles and into the California desert. He was dumped out of the car, strapped with a vest rigged with the freshly made plastic and sent running. After he had reached a safe distance, Francis ensured his silence with a loud BOOM, leaving only a small crater and cooked remains to show the man had ever been there, which the coyotes and buzzards would quickly deal with. Francis got back in his car and drove back to the city, feeling content with a job well done.