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right, hi all. i've recently returned to the hobby as i have more time on my hands to immerse myself in this project.
as a long time guard player i'm used to painting lots and lots of models. i also built and modelled a small space marine force.
but due to college, finding a job and it taking most of my life away i had to give it all up.
but now i have got a new job, in a new kitchen and have grown up alot i can start again. (sadly i threw out my old models)

so in no particular order i introduce the 1st Balvenien Light Recon Infantry, commonly known as the '1st sins'. this is the beginning of my fluff for them.....

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Hand picked from the regular ranks of the Balvenien Infantry. the men of the 1st Light Recon are chosen for their special skills.
Working ahead of main regimental advances in small plattoon sized recon parties the 1st sins locate, select and persecute targets with Orbital Strikes from Naval Lance Batteries, and Fast Air from Lightening Strike Fighters. Working Behind enemy lines often for weeks at a time, the men are highly trained in escape and evasion techniques, survival sklls and small unit close quarter battle tactics. Lightly armed and highly mobile the 1st LRI are not kitted out for a lengthly firefight, instead utalising harsh and fast hit and run tactics, being the eyes and ears of an Imperial planetfall. When the men do eventually marry up with friendly forces, they serve on the very flanks of an advance, targeting command cells and forward scounts with sniper rifles and highly practised marksmanship.
Once selected, the Guardsmen must complete 16 weeks of training within the company to prepare them for service within a scout plattoon. the men specalise in all aspects of warfare, from heavy weapons, support weapons to extenstive medical training.
The men of the 1st LRI are the elite of the Balvenien armed forces. Highly motivated and highly skilled they are in constant demand from Imperial govenments and commanders, hoping to make use of thier skills

The mens sweat reeked of amonia, as they had long since burnt off the majority of their body fat, eating into delicately toned muscle tissue. Rehydrate Field Rations do not suffice and sustain the body of a well trained and fit Guardsman. For 3 weeks the men of the 1st sins had been trekking through the rocky outcrops, sparse copses, rolling plains and foothills of the Tsema mountain ranges. located on Josta V. Imperial long range sensers had pinged unexplained blotches appearing in the mountain range, perhaps Zeno landing sights, perhaps a technical malfunction, perhaps it was nothing. Either way the boys of the 1st sins were sent to find out what was happening and bring back some anwsers. The local govenment officials sent out a request for Imperial aid when villages and townships were attacked in the night, prefabs and manufacturiums, producing a cotton like material spun from the dense Clovazeva plantations on the outer reaches of habital landmass.

"hey Sarge" called trooper Hutton "how far to go 'til we rest next?"
"Hutton, i swear all you do is fragging moan. quieten down while i pick a spot for you rest you tired lil' baby feet"
Plattoon Sergeant Kennedy had been with the 1st LRI since their intersection into the Balvenian Exploration Force 7 years ago.
"Sergeant, Whats going on? get a grip of thee men before i grip you!" Lieutenant Ryan shouted against a rising wind.
"Sir, I suggest we find somewhere to camp, the men are tired, the light is fading and were in the middle of no-where. i can't believe those political barons, sending us out here for what? Nothing!" the Seargent replied corsely.
"Signalman Cooper, see if we can get comms with the forward scouts. tell them were going to stop for the night as grid, Alpha21Golf53, got that? oh and Sergeant if the Emperor could hear you curse like that. You'll be vaporised into dust so quick, your shadow will still be standing." Ryan ordered.

Before Cooper could reply he was drawing his magobinos from his webbing, shrugging off his pack and beginning to scan his surroundings to orientate his map better to the ground."Kennedy, get the men set to stop, that copse of trees will provide cover."
"Roger that sir" Kennedy turned to the plattoon, lowering his Lasrifle and holding by his side with one hand he pointed at the copse. "Boys, listen in. i want a recon section with me to recce that there wood. drop your packs, just webbing and rifles. Corporal Scmit set up a snap ambush incase we've been tracked"
"Roger sarge" Scmit rose to his feet, "Right i want 1 sections autocannon 20 metres that way in that scrub, the lasconnon 100 metres away but inline with the auto,...the rest of you find some cover, and stay awake, smoke if you must, but cover the cherry of your tabac sticks. Right come on ladies, this is your time your wasting. I've have a salad in the fridge at home and my wifes ugly, I'm in no hurry. Move move move"
The Corporal swung into action taking long strides through the ever thickening undergrowth of the baran wasteland. His disruptive pattern combats stained with mud, sweat and emperor knows what else from his time in the field.

Lieutenant Ryan clutched his lasrifle with one hand as he watched eagerly as kennedy and the recce party snake their way towards the copse, the party was in arrowhead formation, this insured they would cover more ground incase of contact.
"Sir?" Copper called out to the young Lieutenant, the servos in his bionic arm squealed into life as Ryan turned to face the younger trooper. "I've got comms with the scouts, they're reading us Lima-Charle, they report nothing and are making their way towards the grid referance. ETA on location 45 minutes sir. Oh and Seargent Major Tayberry wants to debrief you on the ground ahead sir"
"Thank you copper" Ryan said calmly studying his map Tabac Stick firmly clentched in his lips, he drew on the toxic fumes and breathed out. Unlike most guardsmen, the men of the 1st LRI trusted their leader with a map. having known him rise from the ranks. An extremely rare occassion in any regiment.

Kennedy and his recce party reached the woodland, and went to ground in all round defence, ready to peel into the darkened trees to locate a good space to bed down. Trooper King fought his way through the thick undergrowth and tree branches into a small clearing approximately 30 metres into the wood. It was then, when they heard the first shots beginning to ring in their ears. the distince CRACK and THUMP. the crack of the air being displaced around your body, and the thump of a zeno weapon in the distance.
The Guardsmen dropped to the ground instictively. Scanning all round them to locate the enemies firing points.
"Who's doing the shootin'? Who's doing the fraggin' shootin'?" Tayberry called. HIs head turned from left to right, his eyes widened as adrenaline began to pump around his vienal system. He could see nothing, but hear everything.

Ryan looked up curiously, thinking a new recruit had had a neglegent discharge of his weapon. Combat Medic Rouse camly shook his head and began to raise his rifle. He squeezed off a few shots into the undergrowth beyond. With that the whole plattoon erupted into a chorus of shots, expert marksmen, they all were but few shots found their target.
Trooper Hector opened up with his autocannon raking his field of fire with large calibre rounds, gouging into the earth and scrorched the undergrowth. None of them finding their target.
"200 METRES, 12 OCLOCK, ON MY AXIS....RAPID FIRE!" scream Corporal Scmit. the men responsed with well placed las rounds.
"WHAT THE FRAG?!" Ryan raised his magobinos to his eyes again. Blue skinned Zenos darted amongst the shrub bringing their weapons to bear upon the Guardsmen.
Bright blue shots of plasma burst amongst the line of guardsmen as they fought towards better fire postions. The screams of wounded filled the air. Combat Medic Rouse ran, battling around the dense undergrowth of the outcrop, letting nothing get between him and his duty. He dropped to his kness by the nearest wounded soldier.
"Hold on Buddy, I'm here now. Hold on. Frag it don't let go" He screamed as he wrestled with his pack for the vital medical supplies. A burning hole lay neatly in the centre of the young trooper abdomen. Rouse pulled a field dressing and pressed it against the cauterized wound.

Slowly the blue skinned zenos advanced, using advanced fire and manouvre tactics, similar to those employed by the 1st LRI.
So too did the troopers bound a few paces forwards, jumping into natural depressions into the ground, to find better cover or a better fire position. Lieutenant Ryan scanned his surroundings, his scouts, valuable veterans of previous campaigns were still nowhere to be sighted. Sergeant Kennedy and his recce party were still tangled up in the woodland. And his own men were not going to last much longer.....





Please exuse any grammatical or spelling errors its so late its early. I've been at work all week and weekend so i'm pretty tired. I can only apologise and amend any errors.


C&C welcome

Hiya there, new to the forums but I figured I'd give this a shot. The premise of a recon BN is always interesting. There are however a lot of grammatical errors, misplaced punctuation, misspellings 'utalising' 'scounts' 'manouvre' 'recce' and a few others, it was enough to distract from the actual piece. As far as the piece itself I found the pacing to be a little off, especially the transition from the regimental introduction to the first scene with Hutton and the Sergeant. When I got there I thought it was still more exposition as opposed to a scene in the narrative. I think that's easily corrected just by putting a break or maybe even changing the font between the two kind of like the ----- you put in between your introduction and the rest of the work. Also I think the story would benefit if you detailed further just how the 1st operates. Everyone says that recon teams travel light and hit hard and fade away into the trees before anyone can notice but its very rare in a story to see how such tactics are implemented and the skills inherent in any such undertaking. I think that doing a little research not just into how real life operations are conducted but also the tools of the trade, the common dangers and concerns, would enchance your story immeasurably.


On the other hand if you just want a good fast piece of action I guess this works too. All that said the piece is alright though there's room for improvement as always there is. Hope to see more from ya.

-Blue

Looks good, And I like your idea, Since my englsih is not quite sturdy I cant give you any grammatical feedback. But keep it comming