Stupid me!

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**Cheese Elemental**

Anyone have tales of injuries caused by a lapse in common sense? I can't be the only one...

See, my laptop just landed in my crotch corner-first. I've been punched and kicked down there before, but being laid low by an inanimate object is just plain insulting.

It wouldn't have happened if I wasn't slouching in an armchair. That's one lesson learned for sure.

**Lukus83**

Let's see. As a kid I was running extremely fast in my garden and quickly realized I was running too fast to stop before I crashed into our greenhouse.

My solution: Throw arms out in front of me and hope for the best.

Result: Scrapes from glass all down my arms and a piece of glass lodged in my stomach where my arms propelled me in and over the edge of the glass window.

**Golden Eyed Scout**

I got a concussion/brain contussion because I was running while it was raining.

**mattyrm**

I once almost died of dehydration, and it was total stupidity and a lack of planning on my part.

When nailing your scrotum to the work-bench in your shed for the purposes of your own sexual gratification, make sure the pliers for removing said nails are in arms reach, and not left next to the kettle in the kitchen.

**Arctik_Firangi**

At least you were already sitting. Being 'laid low' whilst slouching is sort of redundant.

We all take a self-inflicted knock to the 'nads once in a while. The less it involves falling out of a tree and failing to hit the ground the better.

Old story, that one.

**Haddi**

mattyrm wrote:I once almost died of dehydration, and it was total stupidity and a lack of planning on my part.

When nailing your scrotum to the work-bench in your shed for the purposes of your own sexual gratification, make sure the pliers for removing said nails are in arms reach, and not left next to the kettle in the kitchen.

Wot.

On my side, first time I was on a bike with squeeze brakes instead of "Pedal backward you git", I decided to go down a very, very, VERY steep hill. So steep, I didn't notice the idiots who had strung some sort of thick tubing/wire across a BIKE TRAIL.

So, I forgot how to brake in my panic, and once I hit the tube/wire thing, flipped over forwards.

Ended up with my wrists/legs scraped raw and bleeding, skid-marks on my legs, a broken off spoke embedded an inch or two into my hip, and a concussion where I landed helmeted-head first. When I woke up, it turns out the fethers had stolen my bike and ran before my parents could come down to me.

**Thinglike**

About an hour ago I got slapped really hard in the face by a sail because I forgot to duck while jibing a catamaran. That was pretty dumb.

**statu**

I once run up the stairs, and decided the fastest way to stop would be to jump when i reached the top, except i didn't allow for how close the doorframe for the bathroom was, and split my head open

**notprop**

I once skied straight into a steel guide wire that was supporting a drag lift. I hit it at shin height and went flying over the top of it. Thankfully my face cushioned the fall.

I still have little indents in my shins from that and suffered from shin-splints for years afterwards.

Still if you sell beer in vending machines on ski slopes you will get inebriated skiers stacking it into your drag lifts, obvious in retrospect!

**metallifan**

Busted all the toes on my left foot when I was 16 because I decided that riding a laundry basket down my parents' abnormally steep basement stairs would work the exact same way as sledding down a hill in the winter. It did... for about 2 steps. Then I went arse over teakettle all the way to the bottom. After coming to a stop, unknown to me, my buddy had decided to give it a go, and ended up nailing me in the ribs with his elbow in the resulting crash.

Did I go to the hospital and get my toes splinted?

Hell no. I had a 2'6 of bourbon in my freezer. I duct-taped my toes to some cut up kebab skewers and then drank straight hard liquor until the pain went away

**Cheesecat**

metallifan wrote:Busted all the toes on my left foot when I was 16 because I decided that riding a laundry basket down my parents' abnormally steep basement stairs would work the exact same way as sledding down a hill in the winter. It did... for about 2 steps. Then I went arse over teakettle all the way to the bottom. After coming to a stop, unknown to me, my buddy had decided to give it a go, and ended up nailing me in the ribs with his elbow in the resulting crash.

Did I go to the hospital and get my toes splinted?

Hell no. I had a 2'6 of bourbon in my freezer. I duct-taped my toes to some cut up kebab skewers and then drank straight hard liquor until the pain went away

It works better sliding down with a sleeping bag, now that's fun.

**metallifan**

Yea, but there's just not the whole "Am I gonna tip? Am I gonna tip? Am I gonna-OH F***!"

Mind you, I also turned their back steps into a tiny sledding hill once (same year actually), because there wasn't enough snow that winter to actually go sledding. We ended up ploughing right through the fence opposite and came to a stop in the neighbor's yard, but damn it was worth it.

**Cheesecat**

metallifan wrote:Yea, but there's just not the whole "Am I gonna tip? Am I gonna tip? Am I gonna-OH F***!"

Mind you, I also turned their back steps into a tiny sledding hill once (same year actually), because there wasn't enough snow that winter to actually go sledding. We ended up ploughing right through the fence opposite and came to a stop in the neighbor's yard, but damn it was worth it.

I still want to try the laundry basket idea though, that must give off such an adrenaline rush.

**metallifan**

It does, once you realize that the laundry basket you started out in is already at the bottom, and you're about to go face first into that step right beneath you.

**Cheesecat**

metallifan wrote:It does, once you realize that the laundry basket you started out in is already at the bottom, and you're about to go face first into that step right beneath you.

I not sure I would go face first though, I would probably have my legs facing downwards head back.

**metallifan**

You don't really plan for these things to happen. They just do. Like suprise buttsecks.

**Valkyrie**

I put my laptop on the arm on my chair while I answered the phone. When I finished, I ran back I jumped on the chair, partly landing on corner of the laptop and sending it into my face. My lip had a large lump there for some reason which felt like an air bubble or something.

**Cheesecat**

metallifan wrote:You don't really plan for these things to happen. They just do. Like suprise buttsecks.

Isn't that what happens when everyone gets bored?

**metallifan**

See what I mean? He jumped on the chair, and somehow he got a laptop to the face.

WTF Fails FTW

**LordofHats**

When I was little, I broke my arm when I fell from the monkey bars because I forgot that you have to grab them before swinging forward

**Mr. Burning**

When I was 12 or 13 I stupidly ran out in front of a parked lorry, saw the car coming towards me too late, panicking I continued to run and in the process of altering my course somehow managed to get my foot wedged between the wheel and arch of the car.

Got dragged along for a while, got thrown to the kerb. Now in shock, and much to the horror of the old geezers passing by, I tried to stand up on a my shredded left foot, managed to print my name out in my blood, turned, hopped, then fell flat on my face.

The carnage doesn't end there. After being treated at A&E and being dosed up on codiene I decided that I would refuse the wheel chair on offer and upon getting to my house brought my neatly bandaged foot down on the door step, splitting open fresh stitches and having my mum drag me back to the car to take me back to hospital.

**Ktulhut**

I learned never to get out of the bath too fast. The hard way.

Copy pasta from another thread:

Ktulhut wrote:Winter 2k4. I had a serious flu/fever and had lost several kg from sweating, vomiting and being unable to eat or drink anything other than ribena (go figure). Anyway, after someone noticed that I was looking a little better, they advised me to take a long hot bath to help sweat it out. So I'm soaking in the tub for a good half hour, then stand up and get out.

BIG MISTAKE.

The temperature outside the bath was REALLY low, due to the concrete floor and lack of air conditioning where I lived then.

So, fever + stood up too fast + hot<cold meant that I hadn't even made it to the towel rack by the time I passed out. On the way down I hit my head on an ancient porcelain sink (let me tell you, they're fething built to last) and then again on the concrete floor. Cut a gash in my forehead the size of my thumb. You could see the skull quite clearly apparently.

So anyway, there I am, on a wet concrete floor. Hitting my head actually woke me up and concussed me at the same time. So as my vision's reeling I notice black swirls, which I slowly realise are my blood flowing into the puddles. When someone came in to see what the hell that noise (me falling) had been, they found a very naked and very bright red Kthulhut, sprawled on the floor in a massive pool of blood and covered top to bottom in the stuff.

Took the doctor quite a while to put my forehead back together. At one point when more local was administered, it shot out of the hole in my head and across the room. Felt kinda like pissing out of your head, which was quite surreal, let me tell you. (especially with a severe concussion)

Good times.