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I too would drop the commissar and power sword from the PCS, as mercer says it's too squishy to get use out of it.
Your vox network should be dropped or expanded to include more squads, imo. No use just having them on the command squads. Not critical anyways, so you could save some points there.
I don't think you need a commissar in every squad. If you blob, you only need one, while if you don't, you don't want every squad to be so expensive.
The griffon/bassy combo seems like a good idea, to take advantage of the accuracy of the griffon, but as the min range for barrage on a bassy is 36" and the max range for a griffon is 48", that leaves just a 12" window for that trick. Maybe one combined battery, for giggles, but all three like that is going to weigh you down imo. I'd leave the batteries with the same guns, and I personally would only bring one in a battery anyways. Just my preference.
Not a bad start, but I think you need to trim some fat to get more out of it.
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