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well i just mocked these up in a few minutes but here is the 1st one for you....(working progress)

HQ

MOTF w/convertion beamer - 120

Troops

10 man scout snipers w/camo cloaks - 220

10 man CCW scouts w/ 2 LSS - 200

10 man tactical squad w/ melta gun, ML, teleport homer, drop pod - 225

10 man ical squad w/ melta gun, ML, rhino - 175

Elites

5 man assult terminator squad w/ LR - 440

5 man terminator squad - 200

Heavy support

predator w/lascannon side sponsons - 120

predator w/lascannon side sponsons - 120

ironclad drednoght w/ melta, drop pod - 180
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2000

open to any comments

You dont need the MOTF in this army, you have a extra elite slot for the Ironclad. Since your running Assult Terminators I think you would be better off with a Librairan in terminator armor.

Also scouts can't take a dedicated transport, so no Rhino.

Is there a perticular reason your takeing CC scouts over an Assult squad, yuo could take an assult squad with a special weapon for the same point value as that scout squad and Rhino.

Scouts can't take transports and are generally considered a terrible unit choice,I'd drop them for tactical marines.
IMO, vindicators would be better in the place of those two predators, but if you do go for vindicators, take 2-3 or none as they work best in pairs (or triples)
The LR redeemer, although having cool rules is normally the worst Land Raider of the three normal choices. You have to get within the 'melta' special rule range of all melta weapons to fire it's main weapons and you can never fire both flamestorm cannons. Because your only taking 5 terminators, I suggest you take a standard land raider, it is far more survivable because you don't have to stand in front of your target to hit it, it can fire from the first turn where the redeemer take 2-4 turns to reach a good firing position (and land raiders rarely make it past turn 3) and you can engage transports, pop them with the Lascannons then assault the occupants.

Edit for spelling.

If you're going to take the MotF with the death ray, give him a bike so he can move and shoot (I am interpretting the rules there right am I) and spam the feth out of dreadnoughts. Pretty much the only reason people take him is because six dreadnoughts is AWESOME as Captain Awesome would assure us.

i have a list already with 6 dreds in and he will go with the sniper scouts