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Sometimes less is more. And in this case, it's true. You need to cut down on some of the stuff your HQ has. A lot of it is unnecessary. I see what your going for, but loading up on camo cloaks and carapace is not going to increase their survivability much. The only reason you ever want to consider taking carapace is when wielding plasma, and it doesn't look like they're doing that. Camo cloaks are good for stationary troops in buildings that can actually benefit from them. Drop troops will most likely not be dropping into buildings, so don't bother with those. The medic is also only good when you have plasma really. If you want to increase the survivability of the squad to protect Straken I would drop the Camo and Carapace. I would keep the medic against my better judgement, and add 2 bodyguards. Drop the vox for another melta gun too. You really don't need that vox, especially in an air mobile army, with your troops scattered across the board.
Stormtroopers look fine. Expensive units, but they should be able to do their job.
Your veteran squads seem mix-matched with their weapon load outs. Veterans' strengths lie in their ability to take multiples of the same weapon. Once you start to mix and match special weapons you can start to encounter a loss of synergy due to different ranges and weapon type. You have 2 Melta and 1 Plasma in your 2 squads. You will be better off with just 3 Melta all around. Let your HQ or Stormies handle the Plasma. Once again drop the voxes. You don't need them in a list like this and never will.
As far as doctrines go, at a 1500pt game they are more of a detriment than anything. You need to drop 90% of them and load up on either more troops or something. I suggest Marbo seeing you won't be able to field another Valk and Vets if you just drop the doctrines. Marbo is definitely worth it tho.
I also think you'll find Harker's squad more useful if you drop the heavy weapon and plasma for assault weapons like flamers, GLs, or Meltas. With Harker, not only do you get the scouts rule, but you get the added benefit of a moving heavy weapon, which can be nice. Again, you want your weapon load-outs to synergize with this and the only way you can do that is if you take assault weapons. Also you may want to consider giving them a chimera. It might not be very "drop-troop"-ish, but an out flanking chimera is always a pleasure to have.
Also, I would advise taking 1-2 Vendettas instead of just 3 Valks with MRPs. You're going to want some additional anti-tank in addition to your melta vets.
Those are my thoughts. Hope they helped.
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