We started our month long 1000pt league this weekend and da orks started a fight with each other to see which clan would be the greenest. Warboss vs Warboss in an epic battle to determine who would eat the most squigg at the campfire. I was running:
Warboss, powerklaw, cybork, attack squig, bosspole
Big Mek, kustom force field
19 Ork Boyz - nob,
pk,
bp
11 Ork Boyz - nob,
pk,
bp w/Trukk, red, ram, wrecking ball
Battlewagon, deffrolla, red, 3 big shootas, 1 rokkit launcha
2 Deff Dreads, 3DCCW's 1 Skorcha
5 Lootas
5 Lootas
His clan was running (and im not sure of his exact squad counts)
Warboss, cybork, power klaw, bosspole x2
8? nob squad of big sharp pointy teef
2 Killa Kans - 1 grotzooka 1rokkit launcha
1 Deffkopta - twin rokkits
1 Deffkopta - twin rokkits
22? Ork Boyz - Nob,
pk,
bp
15 Shoota Boyz - Nob, Bosspole
The terrain we were plaing on consisted of an old Battlemaster's map with a river going down one side of the map counting as dangerous terrain and a bunch of baracades set up with a bastion in the center along the river. If you ever played Battlemaster's kutos to you and you will know why only one tower was placed.
The game started off and we rolled missions and got OMG KILL THE ORKS DEY IS UP
TO NO GOOD! Which seemed like the logical thing when two ork clans are fighting over squigg meat. We rolled for deployment and I won the roll electing to set up first. I put the big mek in the wagon and the Warboss and his good pal Squigger in the trukk. I set up each squad of Lootas behind some baracades and placed the wagon in the center to give everything cept one Deffdread the cover save.
He set up the shoota boyz behind a baracade in the center, the squad of slugga boyz and warboss on the opposite side of the river with a deffkopta. One Kill Kan with rokkit next to the Nob squad in the center and the other one on the opposite side of the map with also with a deffkopta. He made his scout moves and failed to steal inititave.
Turn 1 or HEY!!! DAT ORK LOOKS FUNNY!
The wagon and trukk stay close to each other and head up the middle of the map while the deff dreads are going to flank the sides. One group of Lootas lay back talking of the good'ole days of basic nes and how platform games were too hard and couldn't be beat while the other group is into the new
fps games (which is why they became Lootas in da first place) and saw a small gretchin in what can only be described as a walking trash kan moving towards them. The Lootas open fire at the little guy, not because he was a member of another Ork clan or because he meant them harm, but just beacuse they were bigger then he was and thought it would be fun. The Kan explodes and the gretchin cries because all he wanted was a hug and no one liked him.
The slugga boyz on the side of the river start jogging towards the other side of the map. Da Warboss thinks der might be good krumpin over da hill. The deffkoptas move in to flank each squad of Lootas who are too busy laughing at the little grot and talking about video games to notice them. Each kopta shoots its twin linked rokkits but the mek who built it forgot to load the weapons and the ork pilots looks puzzled. The gretchin in the other kan has heard too many campfire stories from the tankbustas and goes straight for the trukk. Makes a good attempt but the force field shuts him down.
Turn 2 or DAT RED REALLY GOES FASTA
The battlewagon goes flat out at the poor little gretchin who had big dreams of krumpin and gets ran over by the force of the deffrolla. The trukk keeps up pace to stay inside the force field. The Deff Dreads keep moving up the sides with the one near the river having the fear of being clean stays well away from the water and he notices a deffkopta just a few feet away. He shoots his skorcha at it and charges it smashing it into bits. Both squads of Lootas see that they really need to do something before the the other Deffkopta realizes that he infact does have loaded rockkits but has auctally hit the wrong button when trying to fire. The Lootas get to their feet and shoot at the Nob squad that just ran out of cover. 25 shots between the two groups causing 8 unsaved wounds and not a single nob drops. The rokkit launcha from the wagon makes inpact on the warboss in the nob squad and he gets knocked to the ground but stands up determined. The big shoota in the trukk tries the same thing but the operator of the weapon gets distracted by a shiny rock.
The Warboss on the other side of the river decides that there is no krumpin to be had over the hill, calls a mighty WAAAGH!!!! and opts to make his Boyz take a bath in the fast moving current so he can open up the battlewagon with his powerklaw. Four or five orks don't believe they can swim and drown in the water but the . The Deffkopta moves into close range of the
fps lovin Loota Boyz and instant kills one of them. The now soaking wet warboss lunges at the fast moving battlewagon with the remaining boyz and after 40+ attacks the wagon somehow manages to avoid all but one scratch to its red paint job. The nob squad runs after the approaching deff dread but is just shy of being able to assult it this turn. The Deffkopta assults the Lootas causing them to run in terror and off the battlemap.
Turn 3 or MORK LOVES
DA PLATFORM GAMES
The Battlewagon unloads all of its firepower on the dripping wet warboss and his boyz and drops 4 of them. The Lootas open fire on the Nob squad and drop another one. The boyz inside the wagon open fire at them as well killing another 2 forcing a leadership roll even though the squad is fearless. The fearless roll hurts and another ork dies. The Deff Dread moves into a good position to light up the nob death squad with the skorcha. Four nobs become crispy and the dread moves in for the assult. The nobs get a few good hits taking a
DCCW out and immoblizing it and the dread single targets the warboss cutting him into small Ork bits. Squigger and his warboss jump out of the truck with the boyz and assult the shoota boyz making them run screaming in panic and then get mowed down with sweeping advance.
The watered down warboss is hellbent on destroying this battlewagon and his powerklaw opens it up like a can of lima beans wrecking it. The boyz and their force field jump out the sides and back of the wagon to avoid being assulted by the squad of wet angry orks on the other side of their once cherished battlewagon. The deffkopta moves into assult range of the other Lootas, shoots and kills one then makes the charge. The kopta botches the attack and the stunned Lootas need 6's to wound manage to get 2 and the kopta botches the save. The nob squad and the dread play some mariachi music and dance to the sound of buzzsaws and sluggaz. The nobz kill another
DCCW and the dread finishes off two more forcing a leadership test which after a bosspole, they still run.
Turn 4 or I CAN SWIM BETTER DEN DAT HOOMAN PHELPS GUY
The boyz behind the wagon, somehow, somewhere found a Tau instruction guide to shooting and have been practicing. Using thier newly honed to perfection skills on aming guns at their intended targets the ork boyz took careful aim at the dripping wet ork boyz and their warboss. A quite lull escaped from the battlefield as the Orks being shot at knew their time was almost at hand. The loud blast of fire from a 20 Ork Gunline fired down its thunder and lightning to its foe. After such hard work every ork in the unit DIDN"T HIT A SINGLE THING!!! It didnt bother them, who listens to the Tau anyway? They charged the squad and won the combat, forcing the squad to run and attempt to swim away from the battlefield. Of course, some of them forgot they could swim and sank never to be heard of again.
In the end, Orks won. It can never be called a bad day when there is an Ork victory.
