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So, this is my first fluff bigger than a character description. I'm writing a multipart story detailing a series of battles between The Bleak Brotherhood (CSM) and the Ultramarines. It will follow the battle for Ultramar between the two factions. I will be going against existing fluff, so don't get upset about that. This is the first part, following a small skirmish on an unimportant planet near Ultramar. I hope you enjoy! Feedback of all kinds is welcome.


THE FALL OF ULTRAMAR
PART ONE - TRIAL BY FIRE

The interior of a land raider isn’t the best place to be under the best of conditions. Add in ten thousand years worth of decay and neglect, and it becomes a place only the most insane would dare go. There are ten of us packed inside the machine. We feel the rumble of the ancient engines as they carried us across the surface, although to where, we did not know. I looked down at my weapon again, making sure it was still in working order. This was a critical battle, and I would not have it ruined for me by something as stupid as a weapon jam.
The sergeant, standing near the front of the vehicle, looked at each of us. Even though his face was obscured by a helmet, we each felt his eyes lock with ours.
“You are about to see what happens when the forces of Chaos unleash their fury. Those fools think they are defending something great, but they fail to understand true greatness! Instead of seeing true power, they hide behind a corpse, and taunt us. We will show them what true power really means!” he shouted.
We cheered. Those bastards, hiding behind their “emperor.” They called us traitors, but traitors to what? They were the traitors, turning their back on their instincts, losing that which made them human.
“30 seconds!” shouted the driver. We stood up, ready for battle. I longed for their blood to cover my armor, to hear their screams as we tore them apart. The ramp dropped, and we ran down onto the surface of the planet, into a hail of fire. I pointed my bolter at them and pulled the trigger. It felt good to feel it kick in my hands once more.
Almost immediately, the sergeant took a shot to the head, blowing it off. That left me in charge. I raised my weapon into the air and screamed in bloodlust. The blue flag flying on the top of the hill was mocking us. I vowed that I would be the one to tear it down.
A land raider crashed into their lines, crushing several of them beneath its treads. One of them was still alive, writhing in pain beneath the massive vehicle. I smiled. The front ramp opened and several terminators lumbered down the ramp and began cleaving the Ultramarines into pieces, their armor rendered useless by the power weapons carried by the terminators.
I forced myself to look away and scanned the area. The Ultramarines had fortified a hill, and were giving everything they had to defend it. We were giving all we had to take it, and we had more to give.
A dreadclaw slammed into the ground from above, sliding open to reveal a dreadnought. The ancient machine housed the mind of a marine long since lost, having been driven insane by the centuries of imprisonment. The machine began to tear through friend and foe alike.
I ordered my squad to move up, and we ran towards the loyalist lines. Several of my men were cut down by their fire, but we kept running. We drew our chainswords and dove into their trenches, taking advantage of the close quarters. They stood no chance. Regulated by their foolish rules, they refused to give over to their rage, and were slaughtered because of it.
The trench cleared, we leapt back out onto the surface. It was no longer a battle, it was a massacre. The Ultramarines had never stood a chance against the Brotherhood. I found myself laughing at the carnage. It had been a good day.

I would like to know what the Ultramarines had brought, i know its not important really, but if they're giving everything they've got to keep this place then what did they bring?
Anyways nice story keep it up.

Yeah alot of people are writing about the fall of ultramar So Have I ........

lunarghost wrote:I would like to know what the Ultramarines had brought, i know its not important really, but if they're giving everything they've got to keep this place then what did they bring?
Anyways nice story keep it up.

Not a lot, it wasn't really a combat force, more of a patrol to see what was going on.

5 Squads of Tactical Marines
4 Rhinos
1 Land Raider Crusader

They really weren't prepared for the massive force the CSM had brought, which consists of roughly 2000 Marines and all their equipment and vehicles.