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I'm currently in the process of smoothing over my cutom chapter "House Do'Urden" and I need some input on my chapter master Dinin Do'Urden so here's my current set up and its open for suggestion
Ws-8
Bs-4
S-5
T-5.
W-4.
I-6.
A-3
Ld-10.
Sv-2+ 4+ invulnerable


Wargear: Blade of Eternal cruelty, Poison Crossbow, Cloak of house Do'Urden

Special Rules: Fleet, hit and run, Favored son of Matron Malice, infiltrate, perferred enemy:the entire imperium

Blade of Eternal Cruelty: a blade gifted to the Do'Urden family by Lolth laced with Drider's Poison, for every unsaved wound the foe must take a leadership test with an equal negative multiplier, if failed the poison numbs their bodys and senses, in the next phase the either strike at initiative 1 or cannot move(I.e. hit and run)


Poison Crossbow: wounds anything with a toughness value on a 2+

Cloak of house Do'Urden: foe's must roll nightfighting against Dinin and he has a 4+ invulnerable save at all times

Favored son of Matron Malice: Dinin is wrapped in his mother's unholy power, she protects him as though he wore a psychic hood, and any foe within 6 inches of Dinin must roll leadership each turn in an attempt to resist her constantly assailing their minds, if they fail the test they take d3 instant death hits as Matron Malice less than gently removes them from existence

Sorry it's long and again I'll take criticism just go kinda easy first attempt and I'm taking suggestions

So captain Mary Sue of the Suemaries here better cost like 400 points. Why exactly is this guy better than, well, everybody? What makes this guy so special to be better than every Chaos Marine hero but Abaddon, who even then he's still better than in many ways?

Look at the difference between a Space Marine captain and any given Space Marine special character. Notice how while they have their advantages and disadvantages they don't have an entire paragraph of special rules, and even then are priced accordingly?

My suggestions are tone this guy way the hell down and make him less of a "My hero am bestest hurr" case.

Dinin is gonna be pricey and apocalypse only sorry I forgot to specify that one and I followed how his race and family were from the series their from. He's just a shot in the dark and since I was leavin him to strictly massive fights I saw him as 375 to 425 points and unique

The basic guideline is if you think he's worth 400, add 10%.

Still, don't be surprised if a lot of people don't want to deal with this. It's a custom chapter that has no real 'place' n the setting, with a character that is unofficial.

My usual rule for fluff is that you can go 1 step, maybe 2, from established canon and get away with it, but if you go to many suspension of disbelief is stretched too far and people will reject it.

Spider-themed Space Marines? It's a new idea, but not that big of a stretch.

Space Marines from another dimension (!) that are elves (!!) and ones generally considered evil (!!!) is much more of a stretch.

Chapter Master Do'Urden
Ws-7
Bs-3
S-5
T-4(5).
W-3.
I-5.
A-3
Ld-10.
Sv-3+/4+ invulnerable

Wargear: Blade of Eternal cruelty, Poison Crossbow, Cloak of house Do'Urden

Special Rules: Fleet, hit and run, Favored son of Matron Malice,Infiltrate

Blade of Eternal Cruelty: Any model wounded by this weapon must take a leadership test with a negative modifier equal to the number of times it has been hit: On a failure, it strikes at I1 next turn and cannot move.

Poison Crossbow: R24" Str3 Ap5, Poison 2+ Assault 1

Cloak of house Do'Urden: Night-fighting rules are in effect for any model wishing to shoot at Do'Urden. In addition, he has a 4+ invulnerable save which is reduced to a 5+ in close combat.

Favored son of Matron Malice: Dinin is wrapped in his mother's unholy power, she protects him as though he wore a psychic hood, and any foe within 6 inches of Dinin must take an unmodified leadership test. On a failure, the model takes a Str3 hit with no saves allowed.
-----

Made some changes. He's still a beast and pretty stinking tough but at least he's pretty manageable now. : )

I like his name though, and the character is an interesting idea. You definitely need to refine the idea, though. Hope my suggestions helped.

Do you have something personal against BS or is it something else?
Give him WS6 and BS5.
S and T also 4 (Maybe give him a rule/weapon/item for +1 S or T)

purplefood wrote:Do you have something personal against BS or is it something else?
Give him WS6 and BS5.
S and T also 4 (Maybe give him a rule/weapon/item for +1 S or T)

Not really, it distinguishes the character. He could have BS4 or 5 depending on the original author's intent. : )

WS6 BS5 S4 T4 is really bland and pretty much every 'marine' major hero has it. It's time for some variety!

He's a SM chapter Master. And you've given him the BS of a scout. He is the master of a full chapter of some of the most lethal warriors in the galaxy. He should be able to shoot better than a guardsman.

purplefood wrote:He's a SM chapter Master. And you've given him the BS of a scout. He is the master of a full chapter of some of the most lethal warriors in the galaxy. He should be able to shoot better than a guardsman.

Calm down there broski

Vladsimpaler wrote:

purplefood wrote:He's a SM chapter Master. And you've given him the BS of a scout. He is the master of a full chapter of some of the most lethal warriors in the galaxy. He should be able to shoot better than a guardsman.

Calm down there broski

I could agree with him being a bit of a nut for CC so he disdains the use of ranged weapons and when within 6" or 12" or something he shoots at BS 3.