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I made an unsucessfull bid to unlock this thread:

http://www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/219374.page

So here is my contribution in a new thread!

The next day I woke up with a hangover that could give a linebacker a peice of it's mind. I stumbled out of my bed sheets and was somewhat distressed to see some of the randier cultists entangled in my linen.
"Jager Bombs were a bad idea" I mumbled, and set off towards my bathroom.
In my fugued state I missed attempting to step over the sharp shrines, or whatever they were, and succesfully jammed one of the pointier little bastards deeply into the soft part of my foot.
"Mother------" Blood began dripping from my foot. "That's not good." In a flash the little berzerkers appeared and began screaming in they're little voices, hammering their chests and running around in circles. "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! BLOOOOOOOD!"
One of the pointier ones ran up the top of my foot and began slashing his arms with a small knife. "Give thanks to Khorne! You are the blessed avatar, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"
"Yes, yes, alright" I said, "Now get the fack out of my way before I squish you." "Lunatics." I muttered, and walked a bit more carefully this time to the head.
Now my bathroom had been the sight of some kind of battle. The nasty little green dudes had fought with the Cul'th'weiner, or something like that. The elf guys. The sick looking green guys were obsessed with my toilet, and had set up one of their own shrine-things behind it. Now I've never been the cleanest, and the bathroom had always been a funky area of my apartment, but these guys were gross. Somehow they were collecting crap from god knows where, and pasting it all over themselves and the walls. It got so bad that I couldn't even open the door.
So I got this bright idea, and "hired" the elves, - eldar! That's what they're called. Anyway, I got the eldar to agree to kicking the nasty guys asses out of my bathroom in return for allowing them airspace control on the second floor of the apartment. It wasn't easy, but after days worth of fighting they finally evicted the nasties. Who then set up shop near the trash bin, but whatever. At least now I could crap in peace. Well, as much peace as I could get around here.
As I hung my head over the bowl and expunged the previous night's mistakes one of the eldar rolled up in one of his hoverbikes. "All is well Mon'Keigh?" "I'll be fine brother, just need to gather myself." I looked up at him with one eye. "How's the patrolling?" "Well Mon'Keigh. The devotees of the pestilent one have made no attempts at reclaiming their area. The dark kin tried for a slave raid in the night, but were stopped by the emperor's angels before they could gain access to the lower levels."
The dark ones, hmmm... They were the black sheep siblings to the Eldar, Dark Eldar or something clever like that. They had taken up residence in the attic space, and for the most part I never saw them. Speedy little guys, they would sneak out for their "raids" looking for captives. I really, really didn't want to know what they were up to in the attic, but they kept the Tyrannids out from over my head and that was fine by me.
"Carry on dude." I said to the biker, and finished cleaning myself up.
I walked back into my bedroom and stopped short at the sight on my bed. The berzerkers had been worked into a frenzy by my earlier blooding, and were now on my bed assaulting the horny chicks that had been tangled in my sheets. Well, somebody was getting assaulted but it seemed like the pink chicks might be doing their fair share of it as well. "Christ" I muttered, and walked over to my closet. Dimly I heard the sound of techno music blaring and a bunch of screaming little voices. "Double christ" I swore, and settled back to watch the inevitable.
A bunch of pink armoured marine guys rolled up in their tanks. Techno music pumping out of an old ipod and wired into some rigged speakers mounted on the biggest tank. "Oooooh! Aahhhhhhh! Oh yes!" The pink chicks on the bed started moaning when they saw their allies rolling up in style, and increased their "assault" on the berzerkers. The red guys noticed the pink guys and suddenly got really pissed off, hollering and slashing at eachother. I swear I saw a couple of them foaming at the mouth, and if it wasn't so completely insane I'd be laughing my ass off. The pink marines pulled up at the foot of my bed and started dancing around in a trance, one of their tanks flashing a mini strobe light on them.
I have no idea how they put this gak together.
So the berzerkers on the bed are staring down at the noisy marines, the horny chicks are laying on the sheets humping eachother, and all of a sudden I hear the voice of the pointy looking guy from earlier screaming. "Skulls! Blood! Death! Death to followers of the prince!" This guy has a massive hard on for the techno marines, so he runs to edge of the bed and starts shoving his fellow berzerkers off. I have to choke back tears of laughter as I watch him barreling into his buddies and knocking them off the bed. I mean, it's got to be like a twenty storey drop to these guys, and he's just shoving them off. A couple of them land pretty badly, one guy hit the floor right on his head and I heard a crack that must've been his neck. But most of them straightened out halfway down and actually aimed themselves at the weird pink dudes. So the donkey-cave berzerker finishes shoving his friends off the bed and then takes a flying leap himself, his huge axe held in front of him as he drops.
The maniacs start hollering about blood and skulls, and then the big guy starts laughing like he's enjoying it. He probably was too, I mean this guy was lighting into everybody. The techno marines start opening up with their guns, and the music picks up in volume, freaking Afrojack just pumping in the background while these guys fight. I'd like to say the pink noise marines held their own, but they were totally out-matched. It didn't help that they looked like heroin addicts, and kept trancing out in the middle of their duels.
I lost interest after awhile, and started noticing the huge mess they were making in my room. So I walked over and kicked one of the tanks into the wall. Suddenly the fight stopped and everybody stared up at me. One of the berzerkers ran over and tried to hack into my leg with his axe, so I kicked him into the wall for good measure.
"Right! You guys knock it off and get the hell out. Are you listening? Hey you," I pointed at the biggest pink guy, "You want me to take back my music? And you," this aimed at the red prick, "If you don't give it a rest I'll revoke your TV privleges." (They absolutely loved Tarantino flicks. I let them watch every once in awhile, and it seemed to be the only threat that worked.)
"That's what the hell I thought. Now beat it. I've got to get dressed."



More to follow as I write it....

The Admech guys have done something pretty cool.

They've set themselves up in my office, and I've been bringing home random pieces of electronic crap for them to tool around with. Let me tell you, those guys are freaking whizzes with the stuff, but what I saw this morning blew me away.

When I walked in it was like they were having a party or something. The lot of them were gathered around the television, this huge group sitting calmly in a half circle. My Xbox had been torn apart, and there were wires and circuit boards laying around everywhere. A bunch of marines were standing in groups, Blues, Silvers, even some of the nasty hazard striped guys who were always bitching at me to gas up the lawnmower.

What they'd done was hook up a bunch of the dreadnoughts directly into the game. I saw all of my controllers in pieces, and an inordinate amount of wires leading from the xbox motherboard and hooked directly into the dred's cases. But the astounding thing was that the little guys were kicking ass on my Gears of War game. One of the red armoured marines was controlling the camera, and it had to be at least a dozen of these guys playing deathmatch simultaneously. Not just playing, but dominating. I just sat there watching these guys running through the level, moving like they'd done this their entire lives. Which is of course, pretty much true, but still.

One of the admechs finally noticed me and walked over with a solemn look on his face. "Thank you machine friend. You have given a gift to these broken sons of the Omnissiah that can never be repaid."

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Their weak flesh constructs have been confined to those walking avatars of the machine god for a very long time. We have been able to free their spirits through direct communication with the most holy machine you presented to us recently."

"Um... The video game?"

"Yes favoured one. Their spirits fly free upon a pure stream of information, and through your magical viewing portal we are able to watch as they regain their former glory through battle."

I thought about it for a moment as I watched the screen. "You mean to say that they are actually living out what I'm watching, in real time? Like a tricked out virtual reality?"

He frowned as he tried to understand what I was saying. "I believe that is correct favoured one. Their conscienceness has been freed from it's flesh-case in much the same way as their walking avatars work. In this case though they are not controlling the constructs, but are fighting in a purely informational form. We have been blessed by the Omnissiah, and are able to watch."

"Dope. So freaking dope." I replied.

"Indeed."

Keep the sroties coming please