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So I was bored today so I typed up a short script. It would likely be a snippet, around the beginning I think. I just introduced the characters there because that's the first part I've written. Also not sure if this is where it's supposed to go, but it seems like something "General"

-Not putting cut stuff on left because this has no "Left" option.
-Also not in courier because this doesn't have any other fonts.

Also keep in mind I haven't written a script in about six months, so there's some stuff wrong with the format. Anyway:

Fade in:

EXT, DAY, JUNGLE:

3RD COMPANY CAPTAIN ABEL LIARUS steps in to the left side of the screen from behind frame. He is dressed in ARTIFICER POWER ARMOR, holding a large sword (a RELIC BLADE) with a STORM SHIELD. His cape trails behind him, and he pauses for a moment, holding up his HAND in a gesture that suggests he is telling someone off camera to stop. He is in a JUNGLE like environment, with odd insectoid noises all around. The tree cover is dense, blocking out most of the light. He takes a tentative STEP forward. A RUSTLE is heard in the foliage, and Abel moves his head quickly towards the sound. Several more rustles are heard, all around. The insectoid chirping STOPS.

ABEL LIARUS: Hold, marines. Be ready.

The camera pans, moving Abel towards the right and revealing ten or so STERNGUARD VETERANS, dress in power armor with WHITE HELMETS. They all hold BOLTERS, and are looking tentatively to the trees, weapons raised. Another rustle is heard, and the camera quickly pans up the treetops. A dark figure is seen leaping from one tree to another. The camera pans back down to the Sternguard.

STERNGUARD MARINE: Brothers, we are not alone here- AGH!

Six TYRANID HORMAGUANTS drop from the trees, landing on the speaking Marine and three others. The remaining two land between the Sternguard and the Captain, growling. The four Marines hit by the Hormaguants FALL to the ground, their bolters KNOCKED away from them. They began to wrestle struggling to stop themselves from being killed. The talking Marine is killed, stabbed through the chest, before the Hormaguant that kills him is promptly shot through the head by one of the free sternguard. The struggle continues as the camera pans over to show the captain fighting the two Hormaguants.

ABEL LIARUS: The Xenos will NOT strike down The Emperor's Angels of Death! Kill them, Marines! Feel no Remorse for the enemies of Mankind!

The two Hormaguants have circled to the front of the Captain, and the left one ATTACKS. The Captain DEFLECTS the strike with his shield, as the other Hormaguant LUNGES. He STRIKES it down with his Relic Blade, and it shudders and lets out a weak squeal before dying. The other attempts to attack him again, but he BASHES it aside with his shield before STOMPING on its neck, killing it instantly. The camera cuts to a Sternguard marine wrestling a hormaguant, it breaks free of his hand, raising its claw to strike him down. However, before it can, a CRUNCH and the sound of steel sliding through flesh is heard, and the Hormagaunt slumps to the side. The camera pans up to show the Captain standing over the Marine. He nods and steps away.
CUT TO:

EXT, SEVERAL MINUTES LATER, JUNGLE:

The Marines are spread around a small clearing. One is EXAMINING the fallen Marine's wound. Several are standing guard, and the others are checking weapons, sitting, etc. The Marine examining the fallen one looks up.

Marine: He is dead. One more brother fallen to the Tyranid Horde.

The Captain paces over to him. The idle marines also gather near them.

ABEL LIARUS: He served The Emperor well. His death was not in vain. We must preserve his gene seed for the chapter, so even in death he may serve.

The Marine nods solemnly and picks up the fallen marine. The Captain turns away from the rest and holds his hand up to his ear, as if activating an earpiece.

ABEL LIARUS: Command? Come in Command!

COMMAND MARINE (Over earpiece): We read you.

ABEL LIARUS: This is 3rd Company Captain Abel Liarus. We have confirmed Tyranid activity, requesting evac from the area. Prepare the ships for a large assault.

COMMAND MARINE (Over earpiece): Roger, Captain. Thunderhawk en route to your coordinates. Stand by for evac, ETA ten minutes. Emperor be with you, Brother.

ABEL LIARUS: And you as well. Liarus out.

He drops his hand away from his ear, turning to the group of Marines.

ABEL LIARUS: We have a Thunderhawk en route. Be on your guard, we are holding here.

The Marines all show some sign of confirmation, mostly nodding, before RAISING their bolters and setting up around the parameter of the clearing. The fallen Marine is set down near the Captain. As the Marine who was carrying him turns to take his place in the parameter, but as he is about to take a step his is assaulted by a ball of green acid-like substance. He stumbled back, but his armor holds.
ABEL LIARUS: More Tyranids! Termiguants this time! Hold the clearing!

Bolter shots are heard and fired, as several termiguants skitter out from the tree line. Several LEAP from the tree tops and into the clearing, behind the Marines. The Captain cuts two down, but one tackles him from behind, knocking him to the ground. He ROLLS to the side from one of its shots, and blocks another with his shield. One makes contact with his stomach, burning through his armor and singeing flesh. The Captain GRUNTS in pain, before kicking the Tyranid away and jumping up. He holds his burning stomach with his shield hand, stumbling forward and slicing across the Termiguand. Its blood “splatters” across the screen. In the background the other Marines are steadily falling back, to where the captain is.

COMMAND MARINE (over earpiece): Two minutes on that Thunderhawk.

ABEL LIARUS: Damn it... We have wounded! I have taken a hit, and at least three brothers have fallen! We are under assault- UWA!

Another acid bold slams into the Captain's back, sending him to his knees. Dozens of Termigaunts litter the edge of the clearing, and the bodies of two marines lay sprawled several meters from it. The camera cuts to a close up of the captains face. A trickle of blood runs from his mouth. His eyes slowly close, and the camera fades to black as they close fully.

FADE IN:

EXT, SEVERAL MINUTES LATER, JUNGLE:

The camera is in first person, from the Captains point of view. Everything is blurry, with the edges of the screen blackened. He is looking at the sky, and several acid balls and bolter shots fly by. Sound is muffled, and there is a constant ringing. There are many bolter shots, screams of Tyranids, and shouting voices. With a massive drone the THUNDERHAWK drops in, slowly decending and landing near the captain. The back opens and around a dozen Tactical Marines step out, firing on the Tyranids. Several more rush out, grabbing the fallen Marines and dragging them back. One kneels down by the Captain, his face focusing into view.

MARINE: He's alive.

MARINE (Off screen): Get him on the Thunderhawk.

The the marine picks the Captain up, and the camera FADES OUT once more.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Anyway leave feedback if you want, if not just enjoy the read. Also just interested if this would be a good movie (As in, would you watch it based on what happens here).

I'm in a writing school so anything to help me improve would be good. Just not "LOL thiz sux"


Automatically Appended Next Post:
Crap, didn't see fiction section...

Mind moving it, mods?

Why didn't you write the script for ultramarines ? I really enjoyed it.. Though I do have some personal opinions. Mainly at the start...rather then having 6 gaunts coming and killing a marine, I think it would be better if it was a Lictor (Camouflage) Come up behind and stab through one of the marines, and all Stern Guard turn to start shooting, then two other come out from behind. After all 3 lictors are killed The captain realizes that one marine is dead, and then following script the captain calls in and calls command for a thunderhawk for evac...but then rather then a crud load of gaunts running in, they move forward to a clearing (for the evac pick up site), and then one of the marines calls out he's reading hundreds of 'blips' on his auspex, and then they do a kind of run and gun thing :p then of course goes to follow the script again. Though that's just my opinion, I just find it hard that a captain and 10 sternguard would find a couple dozen gaunts hard to destroy but it really is pretty good man
Just my 5 cents

Well the guants all ambushed them. Remember that, while they were Sternguard and a Captain, you can think about it like a ten year old sneaking up on a massive battle-tested warrior with a knife (or a pistol).

He might have a crapload of armor, but just one shot that gets through it will take them down, and it will be easy to do that if you get the jump on them.

While they're sternguard, one went down because the guant got the jump on him. I wanted to do a horde of guants to show that the tyranids are a "swarm" not a bunch of massive creatures. In the ranged battle, remember that they were in a jungle. The Thunderhawk wouldn't have had anywhere to land to pick them up. Only two marines fell, and think of how much fire was flying towards them. You have dozens and dozens of guants all shooting at NINE marines. Thats a lot of fire concentration.

As this would be the first time in the movie, it is also meant to paint the Tyranids as a first impression; to be physically weak, but deadly and relentless. Even the elite supersoldiers fell to them eventually.

Remember that a movie needs plot devices more that in needs accuracy (to some extent).

Jeez I'm rambling to a simple reply, but might as well get my reasoning out, amirite?

I really enjoyed reading that, and I think it would make for a great movie scene. One minor thing is the use of 'sir' when the marines talk to the captain, personally I would prefer the use of Brother/Brother-Captain/Brother Abel/Brother Liarus, but that's just me. Likewise when Abel talks to the marines I think that Battle-Brothers or just Brothers would fit better, but again that's my own personal preference.
Also for a bit more variety in the combat you could give one of the Sternguard a different weapon to a bolter, maybe a combi-flamer perhaps? Everything is better with fire

Hmmmm you're right. I was looking for a way to make it more marine-y and less generic soldier-y.

Changes comin up.

EDIT: Changed.

Also, they wouldn't take extravagant weapons because it was more of a patrol that a battle group. There will be more special weapons later, if I write that far in.

I love it! Only possible improvement is make the marines wounds a bit more grievous. Even without power armour, marines are insanely hard to kill.

Oh sorry I mis-read it i just presumes the captain was the only marine alive, sorry mate

I just read it, I pictured the scenes in my head... EPIC.

I'm glad so many people like it

I might write more on it today.

I like it...