A tip on pictures, try making a photobox, get a box and line it with white paper, leave the top open. Then put some good lighting on it, two or three lights, one from the top, and one pointing form left and one right. Then turn off your flash so that it doesn't give bad reflections.
After that take shots with the model at multiple angles. From there it'd be a lot easier to critique your work, but it looks good from what I can see.
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