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Necrons:
The Necron Tomb World is having a good nap, minding its own buisness
When suddenly some very RUDE PDFs wake them up >>>>>>>>>>> *groan*
This annoys the Necrons ALOT! 'What the f?*k you son of a Bi@~h!'
It annoys them so much, they decide to murder the planet ---------------------------------------
The Necrons then go back to sleep, happy with a good days work.

Tyranids:
The baby Hive Fleet wants a Happy Meal
But his mum says no
So now the Hive Fleet is Sad and VERY Hungry!
It decideds to eat a planet, *nom nom nom* and this makes the PDFs be very sad
The PDFs call their big brothers, the space Marines and the Inquisition
These do not play fair and destroy the whole planet and everything on it
The Hive Fleet is left starving, screaming through space, ALL I WANTED WAS A HAPPY MEAL!!!

Ha Ha Ha

"Lord Calgar, we have emerged from the warp storm. Our instruments are still not functioning correctly, and I cannot locate the galactic co-ordinates of our surroundings yet, but I sense a great bloodlust and much psykic turmoil on the planet below."

"Thank you chief Librarian. I Shall inspect these blood shrines myself for our heretical traitors."

"Lord Calgar, a sensor sweep revealed this image of a bloody temple and many astartes in red armor with gilded decor. Could this be the traitorous World Eaters? there certainly is a lot of blood down there."

"Indeed brother captain, prepare the drop pods! Glory for Ultramar! Glory for the Emperor! We cleanse the traitors in his name!"

...(wheeeeee)

......(plonk)

"Greetings lord Calgar! What brings you to to Baal?"

"Doh!"

mister robouteo wrote:"Lord Calgar, we have emerged from the warp storm. Our instruments are still not functioning correctly, and I cannot locate the galactic co-ordinates of our surroundings yet, but I sense a great bloodlust and much psykic turmoil on the planet below."

"Thank you chief Librarian. I Shall inspect these blood shrines myself for our heretical traitor brothers."

"Lord Calgar, a sensor sweep revealed this image of a bloody temple and many astartes in red armor with gilded decor. Could this be the traitorous World Eaters? there certainly is a lot of blood down there."

"Indeed brother captain, prepare the drop pods! Glory for Ultramar! Glory for the Emperor! We cleanse the traitors in his name!"

...(wheeeeee)

......(plonk)

"Greetings lord Calgar! What brings you to to Baal?"

"Doh!"

Lol

FAIL! LOL!

The Ork codex contained the greatest "invasion fail" ever:

mister robouteo wrote:"Lord Calgar, we have emerged from the warp storm. Our instruments are still not functioning correctly, and I cannot locate the galactic co-ordinates of our surroundings yet, but I sense a great bloodlust and much psykic turmoil on the planet below."

"Thank you chief Librarian. I Shall inspect these blood shrines myself for our heretical traitors."

"Lord Calgar, a sensor sweep revealed this image of a bloody temple and many astartes in red armor with gilded decor. Could this be the traitorous World Eaters? there certainly is a lot of blood down there."

"Indeed brother captain, prepare the drop pods! Glory for Ultramar! Glory for the Emperor! We cleanse the traitors in his name!"

...(wheeeeee)

......(plonk)

"Greetings lord Calgar! What brings you to to Baal?"

"Doh!"

LOL!

What about the Chaos Lord that invaded Catachan?
His fleet blew holes into the jungle and he landed in one of the clearings only to be strangled to death with a Catachan creeper vine by Iron Hand Straken and the rest of his force was destroyed by Strakens regiment.
Or the Ecclesiarchy Lord (Cardinal Bucharis) who attacked Fenris and spent 3 years, millions of troops and dozens of ships smashing his head against the Fang before a single great company turned up and routed the entire fleet in a single battle.

mister robouteo wrote:"Lord Calgar, we have emerged from the warp storm. Our instruments are still not functioning correctly, and I cannot locate the galactic co-ordinates of our surroundings yet, but I sense a great bloodlust and much psykic turmoil on the planet below."

"Thank you chief Librarian. I Shall inspect these blood shrines myself for our heretical traitors."

"Lord Calgar, a sensor sweep revealed this image of a bloody temple and many astartes in red armor with gilded decor. Could this be the traitorous World Eaters? there certainly is a lot of blood down there."

"Indeed brother captain, prepare the drop pods! Glory for Ultramar! Glory for the Emperor! We cleanse the traitors in his name!"

...(wheeeeee)

......(plonk)

"Greetings lord Calgar! What brings you to to Baal?"

"Doh!"

I think this is the best sound effect for drop pods ever devised.

Calgar then has to do an epic facepalm with his pimp fists

*Reads all the Failed Invasions*

So....how bout those 13 Black Crusades, huh?

purplefood wrote:What about the Chaos Lord that invaded Catachan?
His fleet blew holes into the jungle and he landed in one of the clearings only to be strangled to death with a Catachan creeper vine by Iron Hand Straken and the rest of his force was destroyed by Strakens regiment.

What? Where was this in the fluff?

Emperors Faithful wrote:*Reads all the Failed Invasions*

So....how bout those 13 Black Crusades, huh?

purplefood wrote:What about the Chaos Lord that invaded Catachan?
His fleet blew holes into the jungle and he landed in one of the clearings only to be strangled to death with a Catachan creeper vine by Iron Hand Straken and the rest of his force was destroyed by Strakens regiment.

What? Where was this in the fluff?

One of the bits in the new IG codex...
EDIT:Okay i checked the codex and couldn't find it for the life of me...
I know i read it somewhere... i sure as hell didn't imagine it... did i?

And then there was the time that the Departmento Munitorum assigned a dead man and his (equally dead) regiment to conquer a planet.

Lord Castellan wrote:And then there was the time that the Departmento Munitorum assigned a dead man and his (equally dead) regiment to conquer a planet.

Don't forget they later posthumously sentenced them to death when they didn't respond.

purplefood wrote:
One of the bits in the new IG codex...
EDIT:Okay i checked the codex and couldn't find it for the life of me...
I know i read it somewhere... i sure as hell didn't imagine it... did i?

Probably in the old catachan codex

*COUGH* bloodravenskauruva *COUGH*

General Seric wrote:

Lord Castellan wrote:And then there was the time that the Departmento Munitorum assigned a dead man and his (equally dead) regiment to conquer a planet.

Don't forget they later posthumously sentenced them to death when they didn't respond.

LOL.... almost as fail as the thing with smurfs

EmilCrane wrote:

purplefood wrote:
One of the bits in the new IG codex...
EDIT:Okay i checked the codex and couldn't find it for the life of me...
I know i read it somewhere... i sure as hell didn't imagine it... did i?

Probably in the old catachan codex

No its in the 5th ed imperial guard codex.

ChocolateGork wrote:No its in the 5th ed imperial guard codex.

I think I'd remember if the codex mentioned that Catachan was invaded. Are you sure you aren't talking about one of the campaigns on another jungle world?

Harriticus wrote:The Ork codex contained the greatest "invasion fail" ever:

I always get a chuckle out of this

Kasrkai wrote:*COUGH* bloodravenskauruva *COUGH*

Boreale died there.




A toast for the greatest spehss muhreen to ever live, Captain Indrick Boreale!

AlmightyWalrus wrote:

Kasrkai wrote:*COUGH* bloodravenskauruva *COUGH*

Boreale died there.




A toast for the greatest spehss muhreen to ever live, Captain Indrick Boreale!

And that's why it failed. He didn't use enough simultaneous and devastating deep-strikes.

Kasrkai wrote:

AlmightyWalrus wrote:

Kasrkai wrote:*COUGH* bloodravenskauruva *COUGH*

Boreale died there.




A toast for the greatest spehss muhreen to ever live, Captain Indrick Boreale!

And that's why it failed. He didn't use enough simultaneous and devastating deep-strikes.

A few more METAL BAWKSES wouldn't have hurt either.

purplefood wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:*Reads all the Failed Invasions*

So....how bout those 13 Black Crusades, huh?

purplefood wrote:What about the Chaos Lord that invaded Catachan?
His fleet blew holes into the jungle and he landed in one of the clearings only to be strangled to death with a Catachan creeper vine by Iron Hand Straken and the rest of his force was destroyed by Strakens regiment.

What? Where was this in the fluff?

One of the bits in the new IG codex...
EDIT:Okay i checked the codex and couldn't find it for the life of me...
I know i read it somewhere... i sure as hell didn't imagine it... did i?

It's in Planetstrike, page 56.

Chaos Lord Ratathrax of the Night Lords invades Catachan. Sending vast anti-plant barrages onto the planet, Ratharax robs the Catachan Imperial Guard of their most natural defense before systematically bombing their bastion networks into rubble. Ratharax makes planetfall to enjoy the butchery first hand.
Unfortunately for him Colonel Straken, lying in ambush in a quagmire of toxic sludge, waits for Ratharax to remove his helmet before throttling him with a poisonous barb-root.

the moral of the story is, KEEP YOUR HELMET ON AT ALL TIMES!!!

Well Abbadon didn't wear his helmet at all, you can expect that the Chaos lord feels like he didn't need to

Abbaddon is protected by his Topknot field

I thought he was protected by plot armor 0.o

Same thing. Topknot wearers are protected by plot armor.

It has nothing to do with his topknot or plot armor.

It has everything to do with that he has an endless supply of clones, much like Palpatine.

Whenever Abaddon dies, another clone wakes up and goes "not again!"