Kaptin Grigger is a nasty freeboota, mercenary and ex-blood axe. He roams the Galaxy on his Space Hulk, 'Frigate of Fools' So named by his trusty Big Mek. he carrys his Trusted Gattla-pistol at all times, which is an interesting blend of enginuiety, Imperial tech, Sniper rifle firing mechanisms and gretchin-spit, the latter being a good way of oiling the drum barrels. The gun itself fires machine gun rounds at an alarming rate, whilst at the same time producing enough heat for Grigger to light his fungus Cigars.
Grigger has his big mek, DakkaMakka to thank for his gun. Frakkamakka was a mek in the employment of Warboss Nazdreg of the Piscina invasion, and as such, helped to invent the Tellyporta.
Grigger too saw the potential of the Tellyporta, Buying one of Nazdreks meks in exchange for a huge pile of Inquisitorial Gold, payed to him by Inquisitor Esiphas in return for his assistance in many a crusade. DakkaMakka (who's grot oilers and tavern mates call 'Mak' for short) is a relative genius, having pioneered Griggers Gattla pistol as well as a method of Warp-capable Rok, which was myseriously oertaken by Daemons in the Night.
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Griggers personal retiue consists of 9 Nobz and a Painboy, called 'Leghacker', 'Jawripper', 'Bigtoof', 'Tankmucher', 'Big Zoggit', 'Little Zoggit', 'Squigsquisher', 'Kannonballer', 'Leadbelly' and 'Dok Wyliisk'. The first 3 are named for reputation, whilst Tank mucher is named because he favours Power Klaws and Rokkits to shhotas and Choppas. He always insists that he's never missed with a rokkit, most of the credit behind that story is 'encouraged' by his formidable throing skills. Big Zoggit and little zoggit Both Like Burning thing, Big zoggit being a huge behomth of Orky Muscle and Little Zoggit being the size of a regular Nob. both are armed with Skorcha Kombi weapons and huge choppas. Squigsquisher is reknowned for hisred boots- red beacuseof the sheer amount of squig blood stained on through years of his favorite pastime. The grots often call him 'Big red boots', to which Squigsquisher replys with a boot to the face. Kannonballer carrys a modified Kannon with him, carryiable in 2 hands but incredibly dangerous, to both the recipent of the blast and Kannonballer himself.. Leadbelly has been shot so many times in the belly he has actualy had his entire torso replaced with a lead carved one, bacause of the sheer amount of manifested lead ready for use and the fact his old torso wasnt up to scratch. Kannonballer and Leadbelly are Dok Wylisk's favorite Nobz, because they both turn up after every fight looking for more help. Dok Wylist wears a crudely stiched butches outfit, carrying a huge meat cleaver in addition to his syringe. He also has a clipboard so large, it doubles as a grot-disection table. Over the years, The entire unit has been wounded alot of times, so they all have cybork implants in one way or another, including the dok himself- a rather handy pair of mechanical lungs and a metal skullcap (handily carved with the name of his very own ork-meat butchers store).
Grigger also has a unit of Kommandos, " of which carry almost skeletonised Burnas. The Nob of the mob has nicknamed them 'Homewrecka' and 'Weldaboy'. Gitsmash himself has had a few experiences with fire over the years, leaving his skin very dark and sooted, nicely Kamoflagued. He also carrys a blackened up Big Choppa, which looks crude but packs a powerful punch. His favorite tactic is to sneak in as close as possible to the enemy, Barbecue a few of them, kill the rest and enjoy a good hearty meal on the move. His favorite are kroot, and as many a Komando will tell you he almost always makes remarks about how they 'Taste like Chicken'. Gitsmash has also earned Griggers Favour by stealing back a substantial fortune he paid whilst the Other Warlord wasn't looking.
Grigger's boys are not so numerous as the majority of the Klans, as he favours lts of killin power over lots of ork-power. As such, he only has 2 units of boys, a 20 man squad led by the Nob 'Knuklebusta' (who uses his power klaw in all his punch ups as a boxing glove), and a second squad of shoota boys, a mere 11 of them, which he puts in his trukk 'Rockkit rolla' along with DakkaMakka. Mak's job is to send the Trukk Hurtling towards the foe, before takin his boys on da offensive with Rokkits and his trusty Kustom-Lascannon-Blasta, which has been given a microwave as a power source and yet strangely has lost a small amount of its power. Unable to understand the oddness, Mak ignores it and just fires the thng, praying his microwave gun dosent overheat whilst pressed to his shoulder.
Griggers Gretchin consist of about 30 overall, along with 'Snakeyes', 'Shovel-ace'and 'Jackal' , the 3 gambling Runtherds. They love nothing more than gambling, and the grots know how they got on at the tables that night, becauseof the 3's behavior. If they did well, they start handing round grog beer and they even let the snivelly gretchin have a few teef if the get drunk enough. If they did badly, woe betide the grot who shows himself, for he shall recive a right good kick in the general direction of the squig pen.
Griggers fast striking options are limited- he has a few Bikes in his hangar, but other than that, he is limited to 3 deffkoptaz and a pair of Skorcha Wartrakks. The former, Crewwed buy Dizzy, Gyro-brain and Dropun (as in, I'll be droppun a big bomb on ya!), armed with choppas and the finest Deffkoptaz that Griggers re-liberated Gold could buy. This Gold, which has been stolen back and re-used on 3 occassions, is still in Griggers Possession even Now, and the armour it was suppossedly forged into for Nazdreg has actually been made from fools gold. The deffkoptaz are equipped with Razorbladed buzz saws, Big Bombs and lots of twin Linked Rokkits for the Meksimum explody fun. On the other hand, The latter of Griggers fast moving options, his warbikes, are pretty pale in comparrison, though Big Zoggits Wartrike has had its back wheens modifed so the Tracks spell 'Eat my Orky Dust', much to the amusement of the Orks who read them.
Prehaps DakkaMakkas greatest acheivement is 'Big Killy', a Deff Dred built from an imperial sentinel, two eldar tanks and a wraithlord.. The ork inside, 'Sneakmasher' is a rubbish shot, but enjoys an elevated capacity to slice tanks, infantry and 'uge montaz up with equal ease. His 3 mates, a trio of killa kans called 'The Three Gretchiteers', offer no end of laughs, as their captured imperial weapons make mincmeat of their former owners, as well as pretty much anything that strays into sight, be it friend or foe.
Lastly, Grigger has in his employ a squad of 9 flash gitz, as well as another painboy. The Flashgitz go by names ending in 'Git'- for example, 'Squig-git', or 'Zog-git'. The squads Snazzguns are bristling with captured Eldar weaponry, Shuriken cannons combined with Scatter lasers and starcannons, designed to make their guns very powerful. One, a rather ingenius Flash Git who calls himself 'Snazz-git', has a pair of Brightlances for his weapon, crudely wired to a lascannon ammo pack. This combination has some varying sults, but alot of the time the enemy suffer badly at Snazzgits hands, who is proving to be too good a shot for his own good. The unit medic, Dok Freakin-Stein, is widely regarded as having taken a few to many fungus beers at once, as he is permanantly staggering around, muttering in drunken dillusion and stabbing radom people with a needle containing drugs designed to toughen up ork flesh. This has some varyiing results, as not everything he stabs is an ork. Most humans turn a sickly green ad explode from the inside out, some vomit up every meal they've ever had and some suddenly start staggering around, shouting madly before killing themselves, often in hysterical fits of drunken laughter. It is rumoured that this is because occassionally the Dok misplacs some of his 'tuff up juice' and replaces it with Fungus beer. The dok dosent care, he just records the results on a clipboard before lighting another fungus-stick cigar. The Dok wears a huge white and (stained) red trench coat, along with a pair of mirrored flight googles. This unerves many orks, as you cant tell where he's looking at to jab his next needle into you.
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Well, I hope you enjoyed this, as much as i enjoyed writing it. anything you reallly like or dislike, let me know.
As a footnote, i would like to say that all puns are intended, and some of the characters i in fact based on characters from other shows. Just Orkin it up a bit
