This is my first real battle report. I don't count the video battle report of space marines vs. necrons that I made in my less-mature college years as an actual tactical analysis:
http://youtu.be/KLhYX6DFskg
Ahem, moving on.
Courtneyfro and I set-up a 1500 point game so that I could make an attempt at my first battle report. I will be using my Kroot counts-as Dark Eldar, and he will be using his Space Wolves. I’ve fought against his army a few times already as my webway portal list has begun to evolve, and I’ve never been able to beat his thunderwolf cavalry. In fact, I haven’t even come close. My army lacks any shooting, and wyches and beasts are simply too weak to wound those wolves in assault. I have had the most success with talos attacks, but even they are ripped apart rather quickly if they are thrown into the melee without any support. Still, I would rather have a talos in assault than out in the open when I’m guaranteed to be facing long fangs as well.
Oaka’s Dark Eldar
Asdrubdael Vect
Haemonculus with webway portal
Haemonculus with liquefier
Hameonculus with liquefier
10 Harlequins with harlequin’s kiss, Shadowseer
15 Wyches with haywire grenades, Hekatrix with agoniser, 2 shardnets and impalers
15 Wyches with haywire grenades, Hekatrix with agoniser, 2 shardnets and impalers
Talos with chain flails, twin-linked haywire blaster
Talos with chain flails, twin-linked haywire blaster
Talos with chain flails, twin-linked haywire blaster
This is my typical webway portal list with some slight variations specifically to go up against thunderwolf cavalry- the inclusion of Vect and harlequin’s kisses. I usually just take a bare minimum harlequin unit to benefit from the veil of tears and deploy the webway portal, but after seeing how ineffectual wyches were against thunderwolf cavalry before, I wanted to see if Vect and some rending attacks were the solution.
Courtneyfro’s Space Wolves
Wolf lord with frost blade, storm shield, thunderwolf
5 Thunderwolf cavalry with different wargear for wound allocation shenanigans
10 Grey Hunters with 2 melta guns, standard, power fist
- Rhino
10 Grey Hunters with 2 melta guns, standard, power fist
- Rhino
9 Grey Hunters with 1 melta gun, standard, power fist and combi-melta
- Wolf Guard with mark of the wulfen
- Rhino
Land Speeder with multi-melta, heavy flamer
6 Long Fangs with 5 missile launchers
This is a tough list for me to face because I have to crack transports to get to the squishy stuff inside. I have no problem killing grey hunters or long fangs in the open, it’s getting to them that is the challenge. I have to rely on talos shooting if he wants to play keep-away with the vehicles. The thunderwolves, which are all too happy to get into assault, have an immense mathematical advantage against wyches because of their toughness.
We roll-off for mission, and get Capture and Control and Pitched Battle. I win the roll and elect to go first. Here is the board from my side, the two stone monolith arches are the two objectives. I placed mine right in the middle of the board where I expect to set down my portal, and he crams his in the far left corner of his deployment zone like a pansy.
We deploy, I only start with the harlequins, with Vect and the portal haemonculus attached. He starts with everything on the board. Thus, we begin a game full of incompetence and constant bitching about dice rolls.
Dark Eldar Turn 1-
The haemonculus leaves the unit and his pain token in the trusty hands of Vect, and moves forward and lays down a webway portal. Vect and the harlequins run into the woods to the left of the portal. I hope I know what I’m doing (Spoiler: No, I don’t).
Space Wolf Turn 1-
The marines grab the reins of their wolves and… run away? I didn’t expect that, Courtney is usually all too happy to get his cavalry stuck in. Instead it’s a tactical retreat with everything, forcing me to advance out of the woods if I want to assault. The rhinos and long fangs all fail the range checks to shoot at the harlequins. The speeder does approach my right flank and take a pop shot at my lone haemonculus, but rolls a ‘1’ to wound.
Courtney begins complaining about dice at this point. His new favorite phrase for the day was, ‘that’s balls’.
Dark Eldar Turn 2-
Ok, now to get some units in and advance them behind the shifty harlequins. Nope, only two Talos come in. Crap, I can’t just move up with two Talos, I’ve seen what 5 krak missiles do to a toughness 7 model with no invulnerable save. I just hoof them into the trees and move up to the edge of the terrain in order to charge out of it next turn. Both haywire launchers miss. The squawking and chittering coming from those woods is surely striking fear into the hearts of the Emperor’s finest.
Space Wolf Turn 2-
Lots of ineffectual shots from rhinos do nothing except break some branches and scare away the local fauna. Then the long fangs aim at the nearest Talos and hit with five kraks. Wound rolls- 4, 1, 2, 1, 2. Hah!
Dark Eldar Turn 3-
Time to make my move, I’ll bust out of the trees, welter one turn of shots, and then massed chicken carnage will be upon him. Only the other Talos decides to show up… I’m still going to advance. My difficult terrain rolls continue to be poor, the closest Talos rolls 1, 2, 1 and can’t get out of the forest. Page 51 from the
BRB- “All monstrous creatures have the ‘move through cover’ special rule (see page 75). They simply bash their way through trees and ruins!” The exclamation point at the end of the second sentence pisses me off. I manage to shake the speeder and the rhino near the long fangs with shots from the haywire launchers.
Space Wolf Turn 3-
He advances with the closest rhino and the thunderwolves, and disembarks the grey hunters. Everything else is content to watch.
I do some quick math in my head on a full unit of rapid fire shots into the harlequins and feel a bit ill. Maybe he’ll roll two 1s for spotting them. Nope. Only about half of the shots hit, and even less wound, I lose a total of three harlequins from all his shooting. The long fangs take aim at the fresh talos, and only two hit! Courtney murmurs something about how average rolls should have reduced me down to one talos and Vect at this point. Cry me a river, I won’t mind, my harlequins ignore difficult terrain. The thunderwolves charge the harlequins.
The wolf lord goes straight into Vect, who only manages to get one wound past his storm shield. Now I get to see whether my rending harlequins are a good match-up against those toughness 5 wolves. It turns out not so much, I still need 6s to wound, they’re just power weapon wounds this time around. I cause two wounds total, in fact, a wych unit would have done better simply because it has an agoniser. Ah well, now I know. The wolf lord hits Vect with a flurry, and I begin making my shadowfield saves. It’s strength 6, and Vect is toughness 3, and 240 points… Making those saves is tense, but fortunately he passes them all. The harlequins are not so lucky, and get completely decimated by the thunderwolves (6 attacks each on the charge?!?!). Vect is rendered fearless and holds the combat by himself.
Dark Eldar Turn 4-
I feel pretty good at this point. I will have Vect and 3 Talos in assault with his thunderwolves this turn, so their high toughness will not matter. The leaves of the webway portal begin rustling, the wyches have arrived. A billion chickens come screaming out of the portal, two turns later than I would have preferred.
I assault the wolves with one wych unit and all three talos. The rest of the wyches group up in the woods with all three haemonculi. The haemonculi spent the rest of the game like chickens with their heads cut off (hehe). I think I’ll have to give them hex rifles so that they can do something, anything, when I hold them back like that, as they cause the wyches to lose fleet. Vect puts all his attacks into regular thunder wolves, my plan is to try to kill all of them but leave the lord in combat so I can’t get shot at during his turn. He causes three more unsaved wounds, but at this point all five wounds on the thunderwolves are spaced out so that each model has one (of course). The wyches do crap all, and I would be upset except I’m looking forward to those talos attacks. The lord again lays into Vect, and on the seventh wound I fail my shadowfield save and am insta-gibbed. I feel like I pay 240 points for a model with a 4+ seize the initiative, 4 wounds, and a ranged attack that gets me wounds back, that are all far too easy to circumvent during a game. Those talos attacks had better do something. “In Soviet Tau Space, chicken eats you!” 13 strength 7 monstrous creatures wound the unit, killing all of them. I do a merry dance of joy, only to scream like a girl when the thunder outside causes the lights in the back of the store to flicker a bit. The lord holds the combat up, and I feel great about finally taking out those expensive resin models Courtney ordered from Poland.
Space Wolf Turn 4-
The super heroic grey hunters pledge to sculpt an elaborate memorial to their lord and load up into their rhino and peel off in a cloud of dust. Even the long fangs run as far as they can from the mess of poultry that is going to belch forth at the end of this turn. The speeder tries to flame some of the wyches in the woods near my objective, but only kills two. Feel no pain works amazingly well for wyches against flame weapons. The lord tries to do what he can in combat, but is bogged down by two shardnets and is then, quite literally, impaled (see what I did there?). Now this is where I was riding a bit of a high about winning that combat, and just decided to keep going rather than actually thinking about the mission. Each talos consolidates towards a rhino, and the wyches set their eyes on the long fangs, hoping to catch them in my turn. The two leftside talos each received a pain token from the victory.
Dark Eldar Turn 5-
My army all advances towards something. Two talos head towards his objective, guarded by two rhinos full of grey hunters. One talos and a wych unit run towards the other rhino and the long fangs, and the last wych unit decides to test out their haywire grenades on the speeder that just rotisseried two of their buddies.
Each talos launches haywires at a rhino, and all three are immobilized! Hah, no more running away for you, now if I can take care of that speeder my objective should be safe from him being able to contest it. The wyches fail to assault the long fangs through difficult terrain, and the speeder is only shaken by haywire grenades (just drag the pilots out, guys!).
Space Wolf Turn 5-
Two rhinos of grey hunters deploy to deal with the talos closest to the objective.
Courtney wants to disembark from both doors so that he can rapid fire but remain within 3” of the objective, but can’t do so without breaking coherency, and begins some sort of diatribe about how
GW mustn’t have any sort of play-testing. I don’t pay much attention, as I’m under the table shivering after another loud thunderclap. The long fangs run rather than stand and shoot, and the grey hunters accompanying them form a meat shield and produce yet another round of unspectacular shooting to try and whittle the numbers of the wych unit bearing down on them. On the other side of the board, I gloat that a talos with feel no pain is quite invincible against bolter fire, but then spot the four meltaguns. The smell of Colonel’s famous original recipe wafts through the battlefield. At this point I realize, due to my overeagerness to kill things, that my wyches are not within 3” of my objective, and that if the game ends I lose. Fortunately, we roll to take a turn six.
Dark Eldar Turn 6-
Focusing back on the objectives, my wyches break off from the speeder and head towards the one in my deployment zone. Both remaining talos head back to my side to try to deal with that speeder, and my most distant unit of wyches gets ready to assault the grey hunters screening the long fangs.
The speeder is immobilized by haywire launchers, neutralizing his last unit that could contest my objective. This game has draw written all over it, and we call it at this point. I’m not getting to his objective, and he’s not getting to mine.
I claim that my wyches would have no problem getting through his grey hunters, as it is a matchup I am always confident about. Courtney says “I don’t think you know exactly how badass grey hunters are, let’s play it out.” He fails 3 out of 4 armor saves to my splinter pistol shots, then loses a couple more in combat and breaks. Courtney murmurs some more nonsense about testicles, and on that note we pack up and head out to grab some dinner…
Result: DRAW!!!
With such poor army composition, a laughable grasp of the rules, and dice rolls that would get us shanked in a back alley game of craps, what else would you expect?