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Hi guys i am making a 40k comedy novel and so far the jokes arnt that funny in it so i need some help.

this is how it has started:
some guardsman are in a trench being blasted by chaos marines and there is currently a conversation between a guardsman and another (who died in the last battle)
I would like the jokes to be clever about how the rulebook is a little broken and how there are many problems with codex's (such as overpoweredness, some need updates etc,etc)

currently I have one saved up about one army being in points limit and the other way out of the points limit

any clever jokes would be much appreciated.

cheers for all comments

A comment on proxies akin to the WMS one?
Ya know, with someone looking for the enemy and asking what appears to be a guardsman.
Draigo talking about curbstomping a Daemon Primarch and being told to feth off with all that Ward crap.
Sexual encounters with Slaanesh boob-monsters.
Oh, and laughing at the name of the Penal Legions.

Edit: In fact, these are all crap. Ignore them.

i liked the laughing at the penal legions one

Whether it's funny or not it needs to have a good story first. Out of context/breaking the fourth wall jokes are funny in moderation, while just making a story packed with them gets tiresome. Write a good story before you even think of writing the jokes.

well my story goes like this:

-some guard (who talk sense) are in a trench battle are locked in with chaos (black legion) they win by cheating getting baneblades.

-they get shipped off to fight against tyranids (although they do not know it yet) and win only because the "vanilla marines" turn up and save the day.

-shipped off yet again this time against necrons(in which our characters think necrons cheat) they lose but they do whistle "always look on the bright side of life" before they die.

yeah i need help with story line as well a bit

cheers to all comments

Okay, im up for some of this 1st look for references in comedy. for example, the uplifting primer for guardsmen is about 12quid and contains alot of humour. And second, try to not go for the whole deadpool 'aware of the outer dimension we live in' Just play on the facts of cheese each army has. necrons have 4+ awakening saves so a part where they're constantly getting shot down and rising up. tyranids hivemind. a part where loads of swarming the guard around a bastion (think starship troopers 2) and then some of the big boys come out to play... and for the 1st bit where they're in the trench, play on the fact about their shocking ordnance artillary (basilisk's 240" str9 ap3 large blast shot) and watching it like fireflies. and if you want penal legion in there have them be the outasts of the group (being prisoners n all) whenever one of them tries to talk have the rest smirk and grin and mention the word penal alot.


Just stuff that you feel each army plays too well for

This thread is a joke, right?

Yeah, Monty Python references, because those are still relevant.

You need a story. You don't have a story. You have "guys are here, now they are here, now they are here, now they are dead" - you have a short series of actions, but nothing resembling a story. Judging by your posting style, I'm assuming you are entirely too young to try and write a novel. A novel is a lot of work, and what you have so far would probably languish on fanfiction.net at best, or spawn a "dramatic reading" with accompanying video at worst. Or maybe the other way around, as the latter could actually be very funny for reasons not intended.

Brother SRM wrote:Yeah, Monty Python references, because those are still relevant.

well yes they are because a gaurdsman gets recruited to die so therefore why shouldnt he look on the bright side

this thread isnt a joke by the way it just no one has done this before AFAIK and it would be nice to show black libary at games day what fun you could have while making fun of how cheese 40k is.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

Yarrick The Necron wrote:Okay, im up for some of this 1st look for references in comedy. for example, the uplifting primer for guardsmen is about 12quid and contains alot of humour. And second, try to not go for the whole deadpool 'aware of the outer dimension we live in' Just play on the facts of cheese each army has. necrons have 4+ awakening saves so a part where they're constantly getting shot down and rising up. tyranids hivemind. a part where loads of swarming the guard around a bastion (think starship troopers 2) and then some of the big boys come out to play... and for the 1st bit where they're in the trench, play on the fact about their shocking ordnance artillary (basilisk's 240" str9 ap3 large blast shot) and watching it like fireflies. and if you want penal legion in there have them be the outasts of the group (being prisoners n all) whenever one of them tries to talk have the rest smirk and grin and mention the word penal alot.


Just stuff that you feel each army plays too well for

thanks for the advice