Latest Internet Scam That Mentions Nigeria, text posted for a laugh

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**BrassScorpion**

I got this scam spam today and had to read it just for the laugh. The newest scam claims the recipient has already been scammed and that the "victim" must call a certain phone number to be compensated for their loss. Amazing how these things never stop and how Nigeria somehow gets mentioned so often in them. Anyway, here's the text of the thing for a laugh in its entirety with the exception of the web link and phone numbers used in the message. For safety's sake I didn't even mouse over scam links much less copy it and for everyone's benefit I wouldn't post those anywhere to avoid accidents with viruses and other problems.

BRITISH HIGH COMMISSION
Metro Plaza,Plot991/992
Zakari Maimalari Street
Cadastral Zone AO,
Central Business District,Abuja.
TEL: +234 (redacted).

ATTENTION:

The British High Commission in Nigeria,Benin Republic,Ghana and Burkinafaso received a report of scam against you and other British/US citizens and Malaysia,Etc. whom the country of Nigeria/Benin,Bokinafaso And Ghana have recompensed you due to meeting held with Four countries Government and the world high commissions against fraud activities by the Four country Citizens.

Your name was among those scammed as listed by the Nigeria Financial Intelligent Unit (NFIU).A compensation has been issued out in ATM DEBIT CARD to all the affected victims and has been already in distribution to all the bearers. Your ATM CARD was among those that was reported undelivered as at last Friday and we wish to advise you to see to the instructions of the Committee to make sure you receives your ATM CARD immediately for your usage.

NFIU further told us that the use of Nigeria Couriers and the Benin was abolished due to interception activities noticed in the above mentioned courier services in Benin,Nigeria and Ghana and thereby have made a concrete arrangement with the DHL Courier Company for a safe delivery to your door-step once the beneficiary meets up the demand of the conveyance.

We advise that you do the needful to make sure the NFIU dispatches your recompense on Friday. You are assured of the safety of your ATM CARD and availability and be advised that you should stop further contacts with all the fake lawyers and security companies who in collaboration scammed you. Call me at: +234 (redacted). immediately to check if the delivery date suits you.

Your Full Name:......................
Your Delivery Address....................
Your phone Number......................
Your occupation ........................

Yours in Service,
Agent:John Simmons
CONSULAR/DIPLOMAT
BRITISH HIGH COMMISSION
ABUJA, NIGERIA.
Phone: (redacted)
website: (redacted).

**remilia_scarlet**

Oh god, I posted a thread about something similar to this, it's funny in a way.

**SagesStone**

I like how they write card in caps.

This line is the best in my opinion.

Obvious scam wrote:You are assured of the safety of your ATM CARD and availability and be advised that you should stop further contacts with all the fake lawyers and security companies who in collaboration scammed you.

**Asherian Command**

It is funny lol

**Swordwind**

What's so special about Malaysia that we get mentioned along with the US/UK?

**Goddard**

lulz.

Too bad they're getting money from this though. Some people don't really know the dangers of the interwebs.

**Kilkrazy**

Swordwind wrote:What's so special about Malaysia that we get mentioned along with the US/UK?

Member state of the Commonwealth of Nations.

**Darkvoidof40k**

Some of that didn't even make much sense. It hurts my grammar nazi eyes, damn it.

**Tim the Biovore**

A lot of the scams going around these days are pretty funny. I got sent a joke scam from some guy I don't know, and it made me and all my friends laugh for a long time. I think I saved it somewhere, I'll post it if I can find it.

Hi Josh,

My names are Robert. Do you remember me from the Potato Enthusiasts Club a couple of years ago? We should catch up sometime! Unfortunately, I am in the middle of a crisis at the moment. I am currently in London, where someone has stolen the taxi I was travelling in and now I have no means of transport. Unfortunately, my wallet, containing my phone and my laptop seems to have gone missing from my pocket so my only possessions I have are $100 in my other pocket. My last chance of making it back to my hotel, and then back to Perth is your help. Please send $1 000 000 via Western Union to me so I can come home safely. My bank details are here: <link to 1227.com>, but please keep this confidentional. Please help me as fast as you can, every second wasted is one second closer to not coming home.

Thank you,
Robert Bob

**Bakerofish**

oh damn

I used to work in an internet cafe/business center and we had a customer who got scammed by these guys :(

He would send faxes over to nigeria and he would recieve official looking documents from a bank and he would sign them and fax them back

the zeroes in the checks i saw would break your heart :(

the scary thing is these guys were clever if they actually got a fish on the hook. The scammers actually bought him a Rolex watch one time he went to Nigeria (Yep you heard that right) and pretty much strung him along.

I got into trouble once when I started telling him it was a scam and refused to fax any more documents for him. I even showed him the exact same email I recieved from the scammers. The cafe owner told me to just do what he wants

last i heard was that he eventually got fed up with the Nigerian scammers and was a few tens of thousands of dollars (!) in debt.

**Darkvoidof40k**

Tim the Biovore wrote:A lot of the scams going around these days are pretty funny. I got sent a joke scam from some guy I don't know, and it made me and all my friends laugh for a long time. I think I saved it somewhere, I'll post it if I can find it.

Hi Josh,

My names are Robert. Do you remember me from the Potato Enthusiasts Club a couple of years ago? We should catch up sometime! Unfortunately, I am in the middle of a crisis at the moment. I am currently in London, where someone has stolen the taxi I was travelling in and now I have no means of transport. Unfortunately, my wallet, containing my phone and my laptop seems to have gone missing from my pocket so my only possessions I have are $100 in my other pocket. My last chance of making it back to my hotel, and then back to Perth is your help. Please send $1 000 000 via Western Union to me so I can come home safely. My bank details are here: <link to 1227.com>, but please keep this confidentional. Please help me as fast as you can, every second wasted is one second closer to not coming home.

Thank you,
Robert Bob

If "Laptop in my wallet from my pocket" didn't give it away, I don't know what would..

**Swordwind**

Kilkrazy wrote:
Swordwind wrote:What's so special about Malaysia that we get mentioned along with the US/UK?

Member state of the Commonwealth of Nations.

That's not too special. Why not mention some country a bit more well known, like Canada?

**Darkvoidof40k**

Swordwind wrote:
Kilkrazy wrote:
Swordwind wrote:What's so special about Malaysia that we get mentioned along with the US/UK?

Member state of the Commonwealth of Nations.

That's not too special. Why not mention some country a bit more well known, like Canada?

Oh no, no, no, no, no. No. If there's one thing TV's taught me, it's to NEVER piss off Canada.

**sparkywtf**

I thought DHL went out of business.

**Kilkrazy**

Swordwind wrote:
Kilkrazy wrote:
Swordwind wrote:What's so special about Malaysia that we get mentioned along with the US/UK?

Member state of the Commonwealth of Nations.

That's not too special. Why not mention some country a bit more well known, like Canada?

Too cold.

The lions and elephants would never stand it.