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Well about a month ago, the Giants(thats my brother for you newer cats) Suburban was stolen while his wife was at work. It was pretty devastating to them because they arnt rolling in the cash, and it was their only vehicle to transport their entire family + rat dog as I call it. She works 3rd shift at a Walmart and she went to go home to find a pile of broken glass where their truck was. We all pulled together, my parents my other brother and us, and helped the Giant and his crew out to get a car and all that fun jazz.

Fast forward to today, he calls me saying, "Hey! The police called, they found my truck in the ghetto" Now when I say ghetto folks, Im talking the nastiest part of Flint you can go to. If I, a white person, were to walk around there after dusk, Id more then likely be found dead, that bad. So I go over there to see the damage. And Ive got to tell ya, at first it didnt look TOO bad, they stole the engine, the transmission his 2 weeks old brand new tires, and 2 doors. I felt bad because my brother is a mechanic and likes workin on things and bought the truck as a pile of junk that barely ran, put a new engine in it, spent a solid weekend cleaning it and buffing it, and turned it into a pretty nice looking truck.

But then as we were looking at it, we started realizing that the crooks were completely stupid. The side where the doors were stolen, there was a huge scraping dent, we are guessing they drove it into some trees, that went from the front of the truck, all the way to the back. And thats the side the doors were taken off, not the other side where the doors were in perfect shape, the busted ass doors............ my brother put a new engine in it like I said, and he found all the brand new wires/plugs/belts/engine dressings on the floor inside. So they took that off, to steal the engine, only to go back out and buy that stuff again? The one that made me laugh, was they took off the cap for his horn button, cut out the horn button, and put the cap back on That brought a tear to my eye trying to figure that one out. Then, since they stole the tires/rims from his truck, they stuck what originally looked like junkers back on the truck so they could drop it off. Instead, 1 tire was a BRAND new chevy pickup tire and rim, and the other 2 the Giant said they were from an early 70s pick up and are REALLY sought after rims and are about $100 each. Then they left 1 tire off the front and dragged it to where they dumped it that way. The police said there was gouges all the way down the road from them "towing" it. So if they are lucky they can simply follow the gouges in the road.

I know that criminals are a bag of dumb, but wow.

Stupidity is a requirement for criminality.

Here's an example of stupidity in criminals in the UK.
The BBC were interviewing some people after the Tottenham riots. Some random scumbag appears, starts saying "Lers start a riot tonight!" to the camera. The journalist starts asking him questions about why he's rioting. He says "its because of all them damn polish stealing our jobs in the community. How am I supposed to get work?" Then the interviewer says "Well how are you supposed to get jobs now if you burn down all the places that offer them?".
"Well what can you do, you know?

Thats a prime example of criminals being idiots. What ever happened to honest, hard working mafia types? They wouldnt of drove to Walmart to steal my brothers truck. They would be to busy embezzling and backmailing politicians.

I've got a story of criminal stupidity myself.

A few years ago we went to the fleamarket our town has every year. It's the biggest one in the region, so we went with our bikes and locked them at the churh.
We walked the route seeing all the used stuff people tried to sell. And then we went back to the church. And (you never saw this coming) my moms bike was gone.

Next year we go to the fleamarket again, lock our bikes at the church. We walked past our neighbours trying to sell stuff they had lying in the attic. Beside them there was a
guy selling used powertools, used skateboards .... And my mom's bike. ....

The same market, he stole a bike from... That's where he decides to sell it.

We told him: "Hey, that's our bike." he flinched and began rambling about finding stuff in the dumpster. Ten seconds later we had our bike back, and the guy was gone.
We gave the bike to our neighbours, seeing as we already had a new one. They sold it the same day.

Some kid tried to rob my FLGS. He broke the front window with a brick, stole $30 worth of change and then ran into an apartment building and got caught on a security camera.

lol My oldest brother told me once when he lived in Uganda as an MSG, their embassy had some specialized truck that was, in that country, a 1 of a kind. And one day the driver was out doing errands and some Ugandan kids ran up and stole the mirror off the truck. And a couple weeks later while in the local village, some guy, you guessed it, was trying to sell them the stolen mirror back


Automatically Appended Next Post:

coolyo294 wrote:Some kid tried to rob my FLGS. He broke the front window with a brick, stole $30 worth of change and then ran into an apartment building and got caught on a security camera.

Children are the worst criminals of all

I've seen some stupid crims on video's. But my favourite has to be a guy who ran into a local shop and succesfully robbed the cashier, clearing out the safe and the till. He tied the assistant to a chair then ran into the door. Which wouldn't open.
The stupid crim spent a good 5 minutes trying to get out of this shop, kicking the door and throwing things at it. Turns out the door only opened one way.......

I once saw a vid where the criminal robbed a store at gunpoint and left, only to leave a card of some sort that contained all of his information and where he lived, leading to his arrest the following day

GalacticDefender wrote:I once saw a vid where the criminal robbed a store at gunpoint and left, only to leave a card of some sort that contained all of his information and where he lived, leading to his arrest the following day

I've heard that one. He was robbing a gas station and wanted some wine from behind the counter and the clerk asked for ID to make sure he was 21

A friend of mine had a guy break a window in his house to get in because apparently he thought nobody was home...

The guy has a full grown Great Dane that lives in his house...

/story...

I remember hearing about something where a guy brings a shotgun to rob a convenience store, only to put the shotgun down on the counter near the clerk and go and steal someone's purse. Turns around seconds later with a shotgun in his face

This one is pretty old but you got to love it, and maybe our friends from over seas haven't heard about it yet. Right now a woman is being tried for child abuse because she would put hot sauce in her child's mouth and make him hold it there until she said he /she could spit it out. This woman was so smart she went ahead and video taped it, and sent it into the Dr. Phil show asking for help dealing with her problem child. Enough people called the police after seeing the show, she was brought up on charges and is currently trying to get the video pulled from the courts.

Now how stupid do you have to be to video tape your self doing that to a child? and further more how dumb do you have to be to send it to a show like Dr. Phil? Come on, its not that hard. its almost as dumb as the woman who got drunker than sh*t and tried to get some chicken nuggets after they stopped serving dinner.

But for something that wasn't in the mass media, I was at a local video game store selling off a bunch of things when a kid about 16 years old comes in with an I pod. The guy behind the counter is looking at it and brings up the serial numbers that looked like some one tried to remove them. The guy behind the counter looks at the kid and asks him where he got the I pod from. The kid being the reincarnation of Albert E. tells the guy he found it on the street out side the store. The guy tells the kid that it was reported stolen and that the kid should wait at the counter for a second. So after the kid has already given all his information to another clerk. (because he was trying to sell it and they ask all that stuff) He is standing there waiting for the clerk to get done talking on the phone. The clerk walks back up and asks the kid if he knows who some one is ( I didn't catch the name). The kid says yea that was his neighbor, the clerk told the kid that they reported the I pod stolen after it went missing from the house. So the kid is setting there trying to tell the clerk that he found it out side their house and that he was trying to return it to them. At the same time the person who reported it stolen was ON THE PHONE, So the clerk turns around to get more information out of the person who reported it, the kid takes off out of the store. When the clerk gets back he asks the other clerk where the kid went. He said he took off, so the first clerk and the second one are talking and laughing about all this; and then the first clerk asked if the second got and information on the kid. The first clerk than looks at the information that was still on the screen, called the police, and now there is a signed posted that says that, that kid isn't allowed in the store and if he is seen in the store to call the police.

I'll tell you what, out of all the dumbest things you could do in this life, trying to sell a stolen item with the serial numbers still on it ranks pretty high up on the list. I think its right next to trying to rob a bank with a banana, or selling dope to a cop (in uniform)

I went to high school with a guy that raped a 45 year-old, overweight woman while his very good looking girlfriend was desperate to have sex with him.


Of course, rape and sex are fueled by different desires, but most people I know found this ridiculous.

I also went to high school with a guy that punched a cop.

I went to school with a guy who robbed a fast food place at gunpoint. Trouble was, it was his local fast food place, and they recognised him.

Mr. Self Destruct wrote:I remember hearing about something where a guy brings a shotgun to rob a convenience store, only to put the shotgun down on the counter near the clerk and go and steal someone's purse. Turns around seconds later with a shotgun in his face

I think I saw that on worlds dumbest criminals once. Talk about dumb

Speaking of which, I saw on that same show, a guy put a case of beer on his head, and was looking through the corner hole of the box. Robbed a gas station, and when running out the door, rammed so hard face first into the door frame that he knocked himself out cold. Derp

KingCracker wrote:Fast forward to today, he calls me saying, "Hey! The police called, they found my truck in the ghetto"

This is possibly the most amazing part of your story. The fact that the Flint police actually bothered to look for your brother's truck.

As an aside, are there any good game stores in Flint? The inlaws are up in that area and the only place I found that carry's GW stuff is the local Rider's hobby on the west side.

dogma wrote:*snip*

This isn't really funny. At all.

Sorry to hear about your brother's truck, KC. I hope they catch them, but I'm not holding my breath.

Emperors Faithful wrote:

dogma wrote:*snip*

This isn't really funny. At all.

The cop punching is quite funny, because i'd say the fuzz are pretty high on most people's "Do not punch." lists.

It doesn't usually end well for the guy who threw it.

Top Tip:
Don't want to go to jail? Don't punch a guy who can throw you in there.

A while ago, some crooks stole my dad's car number-plates. The idiots were smart enough to drive in the street we live in, with a car sporting OUR license plates. The cops caught them pretty quick.

Fifty wrote:I went to school with a guy who robbed a fast food place at gunpoint. Trouble was, it was his local fast food place, and they recognised him.

LOL i knew someone in high school who tried to do exactly this except with a knife. His coworkers recognised him and refused to give him the money, so he left. tried to go to work the next day and got fired.

edit - misread the first post. the guy i knew actualy tried to rob the fast food joint he worked at.

Avatar 720 wrote:

Emperors Faithful wrote:

dogma wrote:*snip*

This isn't really funny. At all.

The cop punching is quite funny, because i'd say the fuzz are pretty high on most people's "Do not punch." lists.

It doesn't usually end well for the guy who threw it.

Top Tip:
Don't want to go to jail? Don't punch a guy who can throw you in there.

I was more concerned with the physical attributes of a rape victim somehow making a rape 'funny'. Granted dogma acknowledged that the motivation is different, but I don't see why he had to even mention it in a semi-joke thread.

biccat wrote:

KingCracker wrote:Fast forward to today, he calls me saying, "Hey! The police called, they found my truck in the ghetto"

This is possibly the most amazing part of your story. The fact that the Flint police actually bothered to look for your brother's truck.

As an aside, are there any good game stores in Flint? The inlaws are up in that area and the only place I found that carry's GW stuff is the local Rider's hobby on the west side.

Firstly, the cops werent actually looking for it. It was found behind a vacant house that a city worker was suppose to tag for some reason, and called in the truck. So luck more like it

And yes there is another place you can buy GW stuff right down the road from where Riders is. Its called Gamers Sanctuary on Miller Rd. That place is pretty awesome, and they have a BUNCH of tables set up and you can just walk in and play a game or two with no hassles. The employees are pretty cool, and dont bother you with sales pitches and whatnot. Riders is a nice place, but they have no tables and half the guys that work in the GW section are REALLY annoying. Infact one guy we all lovingly call him, the annoying guy


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kronk wrote:Sorry to hear about your brother's truck, KC. I hope they catch them, but I'm not holding my breath.

Welp, maybe luck is on his side. While putting his truck back together he found a lotto ticket, in the back seat from 3 days before the truck was found. It has the time, date and location number of where it was bought. Sooooo hopefully that will be all the cops need. As we found out those gouges in the road only went so far down the street

KingCracker wrote:Firstly, the cops werent actually looking for it. It was found behind a vacant house that a city worker was suppose to tag for some reason, and called in the truck. So luck more like it

Ah, well that explains it. Flint has what, like 7 cops now?

KingCracker wrote:And yes there is another place you can buy GW stuff right down the road from where Riders is. Its called Gamers Sanctuary on Miller Rd. That place is pretty awesome, and they have a BUNCH of tables set up and you can just walk in and play a game or two with no hassles.

Hm. I might have to devise an excuse to run by next time we're up there.

Once some dumb criminals stole the radio out of the car of a friend of mine, and one of them dropped their phone on the street next to the car. The prints on the phone matched the prints all over the inside of the car, so they knew it belonged to the thief (one of them). He was brought in and promptly ratted out the other two.

The car thief who was caught on CCTV and denied anything to do with it.
Except that his name was tattooed on the back of his neck and clearly visible on the video footage.

dogma wrote:
I also went to high school with a guy that punched a cop.

Aha, I can one up you good sir! I went to COLLEGE with a guy that punched a cop 9more specifically, I was in college with a guy while he punched a cop...). I will never understand how half the school community could get so up in arms about how the kid got beat into submission by the cops partner (with a nightstick...) he PUNCHED A COP, THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ASSAULT A POLICE OFFICER!!!!

Anyway, I got two (both of which happened to friends and not me):

The first is about a guy I met in college, he graduated about 2 years ago. Well, it just so happens that one night, after a night of hard partying this friend went down to a local pizzeria to get some eats with some friends. He met some girls and decided to stay behind for a bit. Eventually, he decides its time to go, and starts making his way back to his apartment by himself. Now, if you've never heard of RPI or Troy, NY allow me to fill you in about this wonderful location: it sucks. I think its the only place in the world where college kids get mugged by 12-14 year olds (that have formed up into a gang that calls themselves, I gak you not, 'Friends for Life') on a regular basis. Walking by yourself at night is a risky decision that shouldn't be made unless its just down a well lit street. Anyway, this buddy is approached by a local Troylet (thats what we call them) riding his bike. The kid pulls up right in front of my friend and pulls a knife on him and tells him 'give me your wallet'. Well, my friend, being fueled by some liquid courage simply responds with 'feth you, give me your bike.' Well, I wouldn't believe it if it wasn't for the fact that I saw the knife and the bike the day after it happened, but the dumbass kid dropped his bike and his knife and ran away... My friend got mugged and HE got a knife and a bike outta the deal, LOL.

The other one is slightly less entertaining, but my roommate walked out to his car one day to take a drive, and realized that his side mirror was missing needless to say he was pissed. About a week later he walked out to take a drive (to go pick up the replacement part from the local dealer) and found his mirror duct taped back onto his car with a note attached saying 'My bad, didn't fit on my car.'

I think my country has the stupidest. Some guys tried to smuggle in tons of fireworks...

...in the engine compartment of a truck.

Once knew someone that was arrested for kissing a police horse.

chaos0xomega wrote:

dogma wrote:
I also went to high school with a guy that punched a cop.

Aha, I can one up you good sir! I went to COLLEGE with a guy that punched a cop 9more specifically, I was in college with a guy while he punched a cop...). I will never understand how half the school community could get so up in arms about how the kid got beat into submission by the cops partner (with a nightstick...) he PUNCHED A COP, THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU ASSAULT A POLICE OFFICER!!!!

Anyway, I got two (both of which happened to friends and not me):

The first is about a guy I met in college, he graduated about 2 years ago. Well, it just so happens that one night, after a night of hard partying this friend went down to a local pizzeria to get some eats with some friends. He met some girls and decided to stay behind for a bit. Eventually, he decides its time to go, and starts making his way back to his apartment by himself. Now, if you've never heard of RPI or Troy, NY allow me to fill you in about this wonderful location: it sucks. I think its the only place in the world where college kids get mugged by 12-14 year olds (that have formed up into a gang that calls themselves, I gak you not, 'Friends for Life') on a regular basis. Walking by yourself at night is a risky decision that shouldn't be made unless its just down a well lit street. Anyway, this buddy is approached by a local Troylet (thats what we call them) riding his bike. The kid pulls up right in front of my friend and pulls a knife on him and tells him 'give me your wallet'. Well, my friend, being fueled by some liquid courage simply responds with 'feth you, give me your bike.' Well, I wouldn't believe it if it wasn't for the fact that I saw the knife and the bike the day after it happened, but the dumbass kid dropped his bike and his knife and ran away... My friend got mugged and HE got a knife and a bike outta the deal, LOL.

The other one is slightly less entertaining, but my roommate walked out to his car one day to take a drive, and realized that his side mirror was missing needless to say he was pissed. About a week later he walked out to take a drive (to go pick up the replacement part from the local dealer) and found his mirror duct taped back onto his car with a note attached saying 'My bad, didn't fit on my car.'

Ha ha ha, I think I saw "Friends For Life" on the documentary show "Gangland". Are they those donkey-cave hardcore scene kids who, while still thieves and thugs, are also straight edge and beat people down simply for carrying alcohol on their person? Little pricks. If it's not "Friends For Life" they've got a really similar name. Good for your friend, IMO.

Also, the "punched a cop" thing reminds me of this, though I've long assumed that it's staged: