First of all, this list must be illegal. The only way the points add up to 1500 is if there are 9 Attack Bikes with Multimeltas. This puts the list at 1507, and it also implies there are 4 Fast Attack choices, neither of which is legal.
Anyway, there are three awful choices in this list.
The Assault Squad can't kill very much, and the Storm Shield is a waste of points. It's better to put an AP1-3 wound on a regular Marine than roll the dice and risk the Sergeant, who is the only one who can kill everything.
The Whirlwind is just plain terrible. It only has any value against Nids and Orks, and isn't that great even against them.
The Captain adds nothing to the list. He can't run with the only Assault element, the Assault Marines, due to his lack of a Jump Pack. A Librarian would be a much better choice, even if giving the Captain a Jump Pack is considered. The Storm Bolter is just plain stupid, as has been mentioned. At best, you gain two Bolter shots, which have far less value than an extra Power Weapon attack.
I also think the extra Storm Bolters on the Rhinos are a waste of points. They add 28% to the price of each Rhino, and contribute virtually nothing besides making it slightly harder to immobilize them.
Another problem is that the Power Sword and Plasma Pistol don't add much to the Tactical squads, but I'm already being mean, so whatever.
What I would recommend is the following: Lose the Assault Marines, the Captain, the Whirlwind and the extra Storm Bolters. This saves 242 points. I suggest using 100 to take a Librarian with no upgrades. One power should be Gate of Infinity, so he can teleport the Sternguard around. The other can be whatever. With the rest, take another Predator like the one currently in the list, and give the Sternguard some Combi weapons, maybe Combi Plasma or Flamers since there are already so many Multimeltas in the list.
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