So, after my string of misfortune chasing Eldar miscreants in Dawn of War situations, I was matched with a new player at our club, fielding an army I had never faced before. The blue collectivist reds of the Tau empire!
Jumping at the chance to fight some non-
MeQs (and not willing to give my Eldar friends a chance to go 3-0 on me just yet), I read up my libertarian/objectivist lore challenged him to a game.
The list was my usual 1850 list, as follows:
CHAOS MARINES
HQ
Kharn the Betrayer
Daemon Prince (Renamed
John Galt for the game, Wings, Mark of Nurgle, Warptime)
ELITES
5 Chosen (2 flamers, 3 meltas), rhino
3 terminators (2 combi-meltas, 1 heavy flamer)
TROOPS
9 Khorne Berserkers (skull champ w. power weapon)
8 Plague Marines (champ with
PF, 2 meltaguns), rhino
10
CSM (2 melta), rhino
HVY Support
2 Obliterators
2 Obliterators
Chaos Land Raider (Daemon Possession)
The Tau list was along these lines, give or take a few socialists:
TAU
HQ
Crysis Suit Shas'o (plasma rifle + fusion blaster,
FNP, Multi-Tracker, shield drone)
Crysis Suit Shas'
el (plasma rifle + fusion blaster, Multi-Tracker, shield drone)
ELITES
3 Crysis suits (plasma rifle + fusion blaster on each, Multi-tracker, 1 shield drone.
2 Crysis suits (plasma rifle + fusion blaster on each, Multi-tracker, 1 shield drone.
TROOPS
6 Fire warriors + Devilfish (disruption pod,
SMS)
6 Fire warriors + Devilfish (disruption pod,
SMS)
16 Kroot carnivores
16 Kroot Carnivores
FAST ATTACK
10 Vespids (Strain Leader)
HVY SPRT
Hammerhead (Ion Cannon, disruption pod,
SMS)
Hammerhead (Ion Cannon, disruption pod,
SMS)
3 Broadside Suits, 2 shield drones.
The game was an annihilation cityfight, deployment along table quarters (my favorite!) I lost the roll-off for the deploy. My opponent sets two groups of battlesuits in his quarter, one
HQ with each, inside and near some large ruins where they can support each other. Both Hammerheads set up atop buildings where they don't need to move and have great fields of fire, and the Broadsides stay way in the back-center overlooking my deploy quarter. He reserves his vespids and fire warriors and infiltrates the kroot on his adjacent table quarter, in ruins.
In response, I deploy a caravan trail of rhinos and the Land Raider, with the daemon prince shielded. Two termies go on a balcony in my DZ, and two others in the ruins by the center...a bit exposed, but I wanted redundant fire lanes, and to lure his kroot out with a bait. Termies and chosen reserved.
And then...
I steal initiative. Actually, according to Ayn Rand, it was MINE all along. I reclaimed it from the moochers.
((Disclaimer: A huge number of pics turned out blurry and crappy this time. I apologize if the flow of the turns is not well represented in the images!))
TURN 1 - Chaos
One turn less of being shot at due to claiming the initiative! Amazing. I drive the rhinos alo g the road for the extra movement to storm the central ruins, and turn the Land Raider to charge along the center to menace the Broadsides. All vehicles pop smoke. Everyone disembarks from the rhinos: the black legion in front to rapid-fire at the battlesuits, the plague marines mostly behind to let the meltagunners his the hammerheads to at least stun them and reduce incoming fire.
Turn 1 after Chaos moves.
The Daemon prince flies over into the ruins, passing terrain tests. With a good roll, he can actually charge in the first turn! Sadly, I misjudge the bolter range for the
CSM and they can only fire a shot each. I put a single wound on the suits. Plague marines stun the closest Hammerhead with a melta shot. The oblits in the back fire lascannons at the broadsides, hitting one, but he makes the drone's
inv save. The other oblit pair pumps plasma cannon shots into a kroot nest and hits two bullseyes, causing 8 casualties. They fail their morale and run right off the board.
Hold that tightly-grouped pose, guys...are you allergic to plasma, by any chance?
Sadly, the prince rolls poorly for assault in terrain and doesn't reach the suits. Atlas did shrug.
Turn 1 - Tau
The battlesuits jump forward to get good firing position on the Daemon Prince and black legion. One fails the terrain test and takes a wound, however. Also, the lesser
HQ detaches and moves forward toward the plague marines...for some reason. The remaining kroot start to move out of the ruins, but roll poorly for terrain and barely budge.
You guys don't dig Chomsky like I do! I'm setting off alone!
The Broadsides score three hits on the Land Raider. Two don't make the cover save, but the sole remaining shot wrecks the tank, and the berserkers and Kharn prepare for a long, eventful jog. Suits pump fusion beams and plasma bolts upon Prince Galt, and not even his perfect Objectivist creed is enough to protect him! We'll name a Gulch after him.
Yay! We destroyed their burgeoisemobile! Way to redistribute the welath, comrades!
The non-stunned Hammerhead opens up on the plague marines, but the few hits are all cancelled by cover saves. The shas'
El charges them, inflicts no wound, and dies to the Invisible Hand of the Free Market...emm, a power fist. Very visible, too. The suits then jump back out of the ruins.
Hello new friends! Can I interest you in a few flyers about Dennis Kucinich?
-Hey, these flyers he had are not all bad. He was for pot legalization too!
-Shut up, Steve. This is why you never get invited to the Ron Paul rally.
Turn 2 - Chaos
Ok, so we're 1-1 on
HQ's. None of my reserves arrive. Berserkers move up along the road, then run 5 inches, half of them into the ruins so they get cover against incoming fire.
Plague marines walk closer to the stunned Hammerhead, and their rhino races back toward the berserkers; maybe they can use it. Black legion climbs back inside their rhinos and drives toward the Tau tanks as well.
The rear Oblits again pelt the Broadsides with lascannons, and shoot down a shield drone. The center Obliterators again try for plasma cannons on the advancing kroot, but they scatter and result in only two casualties. From up close now, the plague marines explode the lower hammerhead. The black legion also fires melta from their rhino, barely making the distance, but miss both melta shots. They really should try and corrup Vulkan He'stan so they can have upgraded melta weapons.
Turn 2 - Tau
His Vespids arrive. He deepstrikes them neatly in front of my zerkers. Kroot walk toward my center oblits, then fire, but the aberrations make all their saves.
The suits again jump, to the side this time to hit the berserkers. Vespids and suits open a wall of energy blasts upon the khornate psychos, but they take only 3 casualties (Kharn takes a wound from a vespid blaster). Could have been -far- worse, but my cover saves were hot. The broadsides shoot the plague rhino that was coming for the zerkers and immobilize it. The pedestrian rabble clearly envies those that can afford vehicles!
The surviving Hammerhead opens up on the plague marines, and this time it causes 2 putrescent nurgleites to dissolve.
Turn 3 - Chaos
(Ayn Rand's) Chosen arrive! They outflank on the far side of the table, sadly. But it's still alright, because the kroot are crossing the road right in their path. Why did the kroot cross the road, you say? To be charbroyled by Austrian Economi...um, flamers. The Chosen drive 12 inches, disembark and wipe out the kroot. Some of them get killed, like, 4 times.
The berserkers roll like crap to move on terrain and barely advance. Then they run and again barely crawl a few inches, with so many squishy bugs to squish nearby!
Plague marines keep on walking, forming a line along the base of the perched Hammerhead. They fire meltaguns, but only one hits and scores an Immobilized result. On a vehicle that didn't plan to move at all. The black legion drive past in their rhino, toward the battlesuits, and insta-kill one with a melta shot. The oblits get sidetracked listening to The Fountainhead on their iPods and miss all their shots at the broadsides.
Turn 3 - Tau
Both Devilfish arrive with their fire warriors. One sits on the corner near the point the Battlesuits are jump-retreating towards, and the other comes along the center. Suits split: half jump toward the berserkers, half toward the advancing black legion rhino. Ther berserkers again come under a withering barrage of Tau energy weapons from a Crysis team, a devilfish, 6 fire warriors and all the vespids. They keep making saves like they have a deal with Tzeentch on the side, and only 2 die! Then they get charged by the vespids.
The immobilized Hammerhead kills a single plague marine: its missiles all stopping against green power armor and deadened, unfeeling flesh. The other suit team manages to stun the black legion rhino. Broadsides fire at the obliterators in the center, but they make their cover saves. hen they jump back toward the table corner.
The vespids strike fast , managing to kill one berserker. Kharn kills another, and then six vespids in a gorefest not unlike walking into a car wash that had been supplied with the contents of 5 blood banks instead of boring water. The remaining berserkers kill the rest and they consolidate 4 inches forward.
Turn 4 - Chaos
Chosen board their ride and drive toward the tau quarter where all the action is. The plague marines keep marching single-file past the Hammerhead, and finally blow it up with more melta fire. Black legion just sits in their stunned rhino.
Kharn and the 2 remaining zerkers move up, so close to the commiebots that blew up their ride! The rear oblits hit two laser barrages on the broadsides, killing the last drone and one of the artillery robots as well. The center oblits see the Fire warriors huddled next to their devilfish nearby and manage to hit them with a plasma cannon blast, vaporizing 5 of them. The last survivor has his Trostskyism down pat and passes morale, though.
Goodbye, comrades. I wish you could have lived to see the next codex...but I'm not sure I'll make it that far.
The berserkers and Kharn finally charge the Broadsides. It goes less than stellar, as Kharn kills his two buddies (and would have killed a third if he didn't hemorrhage friends like a Ron Paul supporter in a Michael Moore lecture), but kills one of the two suits and puts a wound on the other, taking no wounds. They pass morale, however, and the combat remains locked.
"The long and winding road...thaaaat leads, to your slaughter..."
Turn 4 - Tau
The suits jump forward and unleash hell upon the plague marines, killing four, then hop back to their corner. The devilfish nearby stays put, but the one in the center opens up upon the oblits with the burst cannon and actually causes a wound. The last fire warrior also shoots at them, misses.
The combat between Kharn and the broadsides concludes as he defends his right to bear other people's arms as drumsticks. He then consolidates 6 inches into the nearby ruins, hoping to get to the hippie drumming circ...um, battlesuit and devilfish parking lot on the other side.
Only I remain..selected by the competition of the free market after all have fallen. I! AM! JOHN! GALT!
Turn 5 -Chaos
Plague marines walk toward the suits and devilfish huddled in the corner...still too far away to shoot. Black legion rhino drives 6' forward and fires meltaguns, stunning the devilfish. Center olbiterators move on up, frying the devilfish close by with multi-meltas and making it explode. Chosen drive just next to their oblit pals and offer the last fire warrior copies of The Fountainhead, but he asks for melta shots after reading the preface, and they oblige. The rear oblits try for plasma cannon shots at the battlesuit huddle, but are too far away. It's the downside of deploying on balconies.
Kharn stalks through the ruins, making all the way to the other side and coming up behind the suits. He again rolls nicely for the charge and hits the unit with the
HQ, killing all of them so hard their Farmville commune gets hit by a drought and perishes. He then consolidates just back into the ruins to get cover from the low-
AP fire the remaining suits sport.
He who believes in GALT shall never perish!*
*Offer not valid for those murderized by GALT himself. Offer void in Sweden and other socialist hellholes.
And then my opponent decides he has had enough. He was on a bit of a schedule and between packing his army into the case and whatnot, couldn't stay longer.
Kill points are 10-3.
Chaos wins.
Analysis: Stealing the initiative made lots of difference in this one, I'm not going to lie. It made me a bit careless, tossing the Prince forward to get a Turn 1 charge and getting him killed, but other than that, I mostly ran a clean ship. Getting the Land Raider blown up early by railguns was a drag, but I was expecting that; he actually had fewer railguns than I expected.
Considering my opponent was playing a severely outdated army, he did a fair bit of damage. Still, he was a bit too static with his Hammerheads and devilfishes, watching me appriach with anti-tank weapons and still sitting there trying to always pump out maximum shots.
Note: I
completely forgot about my termicide unit. Didn't roll their reserves a single time, so they never made it into the game.
Best units:
-Chaos: Kharn and the zerkers. They took so much fire the ground under them turned toglass, but still kept coming, killing 3 important units plus a
HQ.
-Tau: The broadsides. Cracked the Land Raider at the first opportunity, keeping me away from their fine china for 2 extra turns. They didn't do better only because they were a single unit and there was so much to shoot at.
Worst Units:
-Chaos: Daemon Prince. I spent him carelessly. In retrospect, I would have kept him out of the ruin behind a wall, maybe try to bait railgun shots into him to protect the Land Raider.
-Tau: The Shas'
el made a suicide charge into my plague marines. Still scratching my head about that one.
Tempest Cadre 
Emerald Knights 
WAAAGH Squigeye: 3500 and counting 
2000 points
1500 points