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The following is a report from Round 2 of Boltgun Battle IV in September. Some images may be disturbing. Do not operate heavy equipment while reading this.

Galactic History Channel - News Update

Dark Eldar Pirates Sweep Blood Angels - Drugs Suspected

Late reports indicate that a Blood Angel task force under the command of Boniface the Elder
were overwhelmed by Dark Eldar pirates under the sway of Mike, Duke of Earley.
The Blood Angels were tasked with clearing the sector of the Mandibol Arches in the GTA Complex.

Blood Angels move forward through the alien terrain


Blood Scouts take up a fire support position. It is suspected the Dark Eldar were after
the Red Ball bushes growing in the area. It is believed the Dark Eldar smoke the
leaves of this strange plant.


As a Blood Predator and Squad Hemo move up the left, Dark Eldar appear in force


Coming through one of the Mandibol Arches are a swarm of Hellions, lead by
Baron Sathonyx whose eyes betrayed his well-known addiction to stimulants.
Blood Angel Terminators accompanied by Reclusiarch Corpusilous deep
strike in to form a bulwark against the Xenos threat.


In the center, a flock of Razorwings, and mad dogs driven by Beastmasters
charge forward, ignoring the rounds pumped into their adrenilized bodies.


The Beasts seemed unstoppable in their madness


A whirlwind of Reavers and Hellions descend on the Terminators,
the ferocity of their assault overwhelming the elite warriors. Apparently the
Dark Eldar had discovered some sort of cloaking device as none of
the Reavers or Skyboards appeared to have riders - most peculiar.


On the right, Assault Squad Tourniquet knocks one of several troop-laden
Venoms from the sky, but the firepower emanating from these nimble craft was prodigious


This firepower proved to be more than the Blood Angels could handle and
discretion being the better part of valor, the red warriors were forced to abandon
the field completely and re-group to meet another Xenos threat welling up in another
sector of the GTA Complex.

Very cool, a nice elegant way of telling a battle report without getting bogged down in text explanations of every little detail!

First, the set up that there might be humor ...

ciaotym wrote:The following is a report from Round 2 of Boltgun Battle IV in September. Some images may be disturbing. Do not operate heavy equipment while reading this.

And then the punch-line (emphasis mine):

ciaotym wrote:Galactic History Channel - News Update

Dark Eldar Pirates Sweep Blood Angels - Drugs Suspected

Automatically Appended Next Post:

ciaotym wrote: It is suspected the Dark Eldar were after
the Red Ball bushes growing in the area. It is believed the Dark Eldar smoke the
leaves of this strange plant.

Or the Once-ler had contracted them to find new raw materials to make Thneeds.