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Further to the previous off topic thread of my many manly exploits; I hope to arrange here a collection of truly legendary stories. True or false, manly or simply documenting the epicness of your fail... Post it here and hope to god the MODs decide I'm simply delusional instead of dangerous.

I start with a true tale.

Several years ago, before the birth of my daughter, back in the days of my truly HEROIC youth, I was laid down a challenge by my peers. Bed 6 women in 24 hours. Impossible I protested, Unethical I said, but still they pestered me.

After much goading (and much admiring myself in the mirror) I decided that it might actually be feasible... and certainly worth the time and effort to investigate. I decided from the start that the key to success would be the proper implementation of the groundwork. One cannot simply expect to go out on a 'wild one' and expect to find 6 willing women in one evening, even someone as handsome as I.

I began by scouring my list of old flames, many were crossed off as being crippled or driven insane by our last encounter. Others had the fortitude to endure another round of Frag love. I began to text, message and contact these lovely damsels. One flirted back, then another, soon I had laid the groundwork for 3 potential dates. I went to these dates over the course of a week and made excellent headway in my most moronic of tasks.

It was then, during the exchange of 'pictures' with the 4th, and most dazzling of the women I had contacted, that my girlfriend decided to have a look through my phone.

A broken eye socket from the impact of the phone and a resulting broken nose from the following right hook have, to this day, been one of my most bittersweet memories. Personally I think they have only managed to improve my rugged appeal, i was much too 'pretty' before that.

Moral of the story? Don't be a gakking idiot, lol.

Surfed a fire engine...
It was stationary but i was drunk at the time o it was fairly hard...
Ended up with a police caution...
Unfortunately no pictures because my comrades were too drunk to work a phone's camera...

Nice job whipping out your E-Penis. I would like it if you didn't use Off-Topic as a place to put your conquest stories.

Chowderhead wrote:Nice job whipping out your E-Penis. I would like it if you didn't use Off-Topic as a place to put your conquest stories.

Hardly a conquest, it resulted in hospitalisation... you seem to miss the point of the thread. That being said, i respect your objection to my godly levels of awesomeness... not all can be as blessed as I.


Automatically Appended Next Post:

purplefood wrote:Surfed a fire engine...
It was stationary but i was drunk at the time o it was fairly hard...
Ended up with a police caution...
Unfortunately no pictures because my comrades were too drunk to work a phone's camera...

Ah alcohol, the bearer of good times, bad ideas and truly manly moments. God bless Beer.

I lifted a caravan once, onto its two main wheels but I took the strain of the front for about 10 seconds. My dad hadn't realised that the stabiliser wheel wasn't straight, cue me lifting the caravan so he could straighten the wheel and put some blocks down.

Manly enough?

Azza007 wrote:I lifted a caravan once, onto its two main wheels but I took the strain of the front for about 10 seconds. My dad hadn't realised that the stabiliser wheel wasn't straight, cue me lifting the caravan so he could straighten the wheel and put some blocks down.

Manly enough?

That, my friend, is truly manly... may your testes grow to a higher power level.

That will do I think...