Forum adverts like this one are shown to any user who is not logged in. Join us by filling out a tiny 3 field form and you will get your own, free, dakka user account which gives a good range of benefits to you: No adverts like this in the forums anymore. Times and dates in your local timezone. Full tracking of what you have read so you can skip to your first unread post, easily see what has changed since you last logged in, and easily see what is new at a glance. Email notifications for threads you want to watch closely. Being a part of the oldest wargaming community on the net. If you are already a member then feel free to login now.

This is just a brief blurb I felt like writing. C&C appreciated, though this will be quite short so I don't expect any.

Five minutes now.

Blood is streaming down from my eyes and accumulating in the grooves and wrinkles of my face. It continues to build up until surface friction can't hold it still anymore. The dam breaks and the blood cascades out, those tiny droplets home to billions of cells. A good portion of those cells are the virus. My skin is breaking down. It feels leathery and numb. I can't concentrate. I'm slipping.

The radio flares to life and a voice cuts through its normal static, dragging me back to life. "Marius!" The voice is feminine but I find it difficult to tell. She's coughing and rasping. I can hear gunfire in the distance. People are screaming. But there's another noise; something inhuman and uncanny. Its the noise of a mouth untended for speech trying to scream. "Marius! Are you there? Marius! Damn it Mar!

I grab the radio and hold down the Comm. Button. "Junia! Throne, I was afraid that you'd... What's going on?" Its a difficult task to force my failing body to speak. In its death throes I can barely move. "Where are you?"

"We're in trouble Mar!" she answers. Julia tends to downplay danger. When she admits that things are bad, they're really bad.

The blood from my eyes is dripping into my tongue. It tastes oddly sour. My vision is fading. I force myself to turn towards the radar. Four minutes and twelve seconds now. "Julia! Listen to me! You need to get into a bunker now! There isn't much time!"

The Communications Outpost, or rather shack, I'm stationed in is growing unbearable hot. Occasionally various pieces of machinery are forced to turn off to cool down their burning mechanics. The Xenos are devouring the planet and melting down whatever's left. Ever since they arrived its just gotten hotter and hotter. That's not what's going to kill me though. Once again I look at the radar. Three minutes and thirty six seconds until they land. Julia is taking far too long to answer.

"Julia, what's happening? Julia? Julia? Please, listen to me!" I've started sobbing now. The blood is now more watery. I blink my left eye and realize the right is blind. How long have I been unable to see from it? How long until my left goes as well? "Julia, for Throne's sake, get to the bunker!"

I am answered by a hissing noise and a wet splatter. More people are screaming. I'm praying that she wasn't one of them. I should've been out there. I should've been fighting with my comrades. All I've done here is fail to warn them of their upcoming deaths. My eye is fading. I reach up to rub some blood clear from it and see my hand. The skin is peeling off, starting at my joints and finger tips. Worms are crawling out from the festering wounds, greedily devouring any remaining flesh.

All I can say is, "Oh no."

One minute and fifty six seconds.

I had a family back home. I had friends. I had a job. I had a house. I had a life. I'm trying to manipulate the radio with my rotting hands. Worms are slipping out from the wreck and latching onto the mechanics. They crawl into the assorted cracks, holes and heater vents, desperately trying to hide from the dim light of the outpost. Finally my right hand manages to latch onto the device. I turn the knob to our orbital frequency. I want them to hear my last words so they can pass them on.

There's no signal. I can't connect. The Xenos must've cut the signal. I'm sobbing even more now. It would be better if I wasn't so alone.

Thirty eight seconds.

Its hard to swallow that I have less than a minute to live. I grab my laspistol. It won't do any good but it gives me a sense of security. Besides, I don't want to die without a fight.

That's when they impacted. A massive organic pod, reminiscent of an egg wrapped in a thick coat of flesh and slime, slams into the neighboring ground. The pod is soaking with what looks like mucous. A wave of grit and dirt impacts the outpost. Hundreds of tiny pebbles and dirt specs rained against the walls and windows like hail. The pod begins to peel open. Oozing flesh ripped away, bleeding severely as it did so. Finally the oval of flesh completely ripped apart and fell limp. Out of the organic wreckage came a towering creature.

With its stout legs and over sized torso it was barely bipedal. Its tan, leathery hide was adorned with a massive red carapace split into several shifting armor plates. The creature moved ponderously, throwing aside chunks of gore from the pod. It had four hideous arms, each ending in a massive scything talon, and a rotund, hound like head. Its overall appearance was synonymous with a Xeno I had heard about before; a Tyranid. The creature shifted towards me, mucous still dripping from its recently freed form.

It unhinged its jaw and roared. The noise was the loudest sound I've ever heard. A new storm of dust and grit was kicked up. The window was shattered. I tumbled over backwards, dropping my lasgun. It began to approach, cloven hooves pounding into the ground as it walked. I jumped up as quickly as I could and my vision went black.

"Throne!" I shout, stumbling blindly.

From the sounds of its footsteps I could tell it was closing in.

Hmm, very good mate, descriptive and emotive and yet concise enough to move the pacing forward quickly enough. I read the whole thing very quickly because I wanted to know what would happen next. Lot's of potential here! Although, I reckon you used 'Throne' to much personally.

I thought the bit with his eye being blind was a very nice touch!

Jihadnik wrote:Hmm, very good mate, descriptive and emotive and yet concise enough to move the pacing forward quickly enough. I read the whole thing very quickly because I wanted to know what would happen next. Lot's of potential here! Although, I reckon you used 'Throne' to much personally.

I thought the bit with his eye being blind was a very nice touch!

Thanks for the comment! I've taken your advice and am removing some of the instances of Throne.

what really amazes me is that you get better and better. Most important is that you take into consideration your readers comments!!!Anyway very good job.
PS I am waiting for the Daemon Blade's next episode!!!

Bobakos wrote:what really amazes me is that you get better and better. Most important is that you take into consideration your readers comments!!!Anyway very good job.
PS I am waiting for the Daemon Blade's next episode!!!

Again, thanks for the comment! They're really appreciated!

The Daemon Blade will continue eventually, thanks for your patience.