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I will go with the second list but change it as so

I don't think there is such thing as TL Plasma Cannon for Dreadnought

Here is what your list should be. Small changes but improve its effectiveness greatly.

Captain - Artificer Armour - Relic Blade - Stormbolter (better than your chapter master in every way while cheaper in points. i.e. Your chapter master has 2+/4+ Str 8 Ini 1, no sweeping advance at 165 pts. This is 148 pts 2+/4+ Str6 Ini 5, with sweeping advance)
Librarian - Null Zone - Avenger - Bolt Pistol

5 Terminators - TH/SS (there is only one way to play Terminators, and it is TH/SS)
Land Raider Redeemer - extra armour (always move 12" forward)
Dreadnought - TL Autocannon x 2 (sit behind cover and pew pew)
Dreadnought - Multi-melta + Heavy flamer on DCCW - Drop Pod (wreak some thing on turn 1. Will definitely die on turn 1/2 but will soak up enough firepower for the LRR to move forward)

3x Tactical Squad
Sgt w/ Storm bolter + Powerfist
Flamer
Missle Launcher
Rhino

(On non-killpoint, split in two, let missle launcher pop transport while your rhino filled with captain move forward 12" shoot its storm bolter + the captain storm bolter)

Scout Squad - Telion. Stay in cover with infiltration and ALWAYS use Telion to kill of independent character or models with special weapons.

Predator - Autocannon - Lascannons Sponson
Whirlwind (meh, you can drop the storm bolters from the sergents and upgrade this to another Predator or get Thunderfire cannon)