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Update 1

Pedro Kantor
Librarian - Null Zone - The Avenger
4x Honour Guard + 1x Chapter Champion w/ Relic Blade
Rhino

6x Sternguard - 4x Combi-melta - Sgt w/ Powerfist - Rhino
6x Sternguard - 4x Combi-melta - Sgt w/ Powerfist - Rhino
6x Sternguard - 4x Combi-melta - Sgt w/ Powerfist - Rhino

Scouts - 5x Snipers
10x Tactical Squad - Melta + ML - Sgt w/ Chainsword - Razorback LasPlas
10x Tactical Squad - Melta + ML - Sgt w/ Chainsword - Razorback LasPlas

Predator - AC + TLLC sponson
Thunderfire Cannon

More bodies, more transport popping but also more kill points. On an objective game though, I am in good shape given that I have 6 Razorback/Rhino moving forward with lots of killy.

Original

Pedro Kantor
Librarian - Null Zone - The Avenger
4x Honour Guard + 1x Chapter Champion w/ Thunder Hammer
Land Raider Redeemer w/ Extra Armour + MM

10x Sternguard - 5x Combi-melta - Sgt w/ Powerfist - Rhino
10x Sternguard - 5x Combi-melta - Sgt w/ Powerfist - Rhino

10x Tactical Squad - Flamer + ML - Sgt w/ Chainsword - Razorback LasPlas
10x Tactical Squad - Flamer + ML - Sgt w/ Chainsword - Razorback LasPlas

Thunderfire Cannon

Honour guard are just weak assault termies.

I would use three rhinos to help support your 'raider. The 'raider and your rhinos would work better.

10 sternguard is expensive. I find 6 is enough to have impact whilst not being a waste if their rhino is blown, at the same time they will have the same firepower if they stay in the rhino.
I would use full on meltas or heavy flamers in rhinos. Else maybe take 2 lascannons and keep them back.

Personally I wouldn't use the tactical squads as they are a lot kill points and points instead maybe buying preds or something. Also go for the full 3 squads of sternguard.

I think to make full use of kantor you should have sternguard to score and the troops to bring Telion without regret.

Well seeing as how he has to have troops the tacticals aren't bad. Maybe consider a PF or combi melta on the sgts. Maybe both. I do agree though that 10 sternguard is alot per squad in rhinos. Coming out of a pod maybe since they become 2 x 5 man squads. I'm not a fan of redeemers at all. A regular land raider would suffice and give you some long range firepower to compliment the ML. I really feel like you are missing out on a lot of AT for this size game.

I have updated the list taking into account your suggestions. Any more comments gentlemen?