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Personally I never used a griffin, I like my dragons personal preference, The White Sword is 'model on foot only". The Archmage is a good build, as long as someone doesn't have an item like The Amulet of Light, or other ranged magical weapons. Personally I use the Book of Hoeth, but most of my opponents are dwarves or heavy on the anti magic. Would recomment standards and maybe musicians for your Lothern Seaguard. The specials are spot on, may consider banners for the DP and or combine into one squad of 10? Around here the guys taking great eagles normally only take a pair, I still don't believe in them myself but the other guys swear by them. I know they are great war machine hunters and you will need that if you plan on running a monstrous mount. The only other thing I could see is too many points tied up in characters and not enough troops. Curious what spells you pick with the level 2 shadow is it Mindrazor and POS?

On the griffon my brother uses one all the time in his empire armies (he painted it above average too ), and it works very well for him. IMO the RBT are just not as useful as they once were, maybe drop 2x great eagles to up your SM to 21 models? The seaguard models do look awesome but having just painted my own unit I will tell you they suck to paint , useful model being fighty and shooty. Lastly, last month I won the local tournament at the FLGS (2250) using Tyrion a Dragon Mage and Lore of Metal mage 60 spears in 3x20 and 2 units of 10 DP with standards. You just will eventually learn (if you don't already ) on how to use monstrous mounts, using cover or another unit to take the cannonball to the face. And sometimes you use the big beasty to pull or be cannon fodder for the DP and SM to get there.