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For 1250 I'd drop the shadow trinket from the grey seer, unless you know you'll see a ton of BS based shooting.
Drop the 2nd warlock completely; you need bodies on the field.
Drop the storm banner from the BSB and pick up some kind of ward save for him.
Clanrats could be bigger, and the slaves could be smaller; I like 30 clanrats and 40-45 slaves.
In 1250 you could get away with units of 40 pretty easily, and drop the champs; they are worthless in slave blocks.
Hellpit is sweet, but a lot of points. I feel your games will come down to whether you lose the HPA or not; if the HPA does its thing, you win, if not you lose.
You could drop the HPA for 2 warplighting cannons as stated above, but with STR ATR/D6W/no armor saves; I think you can shoot at anything, and have a good chance of taking it out.
If you do drop the HPA it'll free up enough points for a 2nd unit of clanrats, or you could upgrade your single unit to storm vermin, and give them the storm banner.
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