Galactic News Tribune
Xenos Intercept Bureau
The following intercept of an Ork broadcast was captured M41.842
- authentication pending
Oi, hummies! Klobber-Noggin the Great here. I'z here ta tell ya 'bout how me Klob-O-Rama
chopped up some of your Ultra Marines a few days back. One of your radio
stations wuz messin' up me communications wit me mobz, so wez decided to turn dat off.
In a bee-utiful firewirks display, we dropped some big boomer bombz from orbit den went
in to make sure dat radio station dint bother us no more. In da process, me Boyz ran into
some Ultra Marines wot seemed intent on pickin' up pieces of wot wuz left. We had a
right good scrum, we did.
Shaky da Grot took some picz from one of me Deff Koptas. Some of da picz is a bit fuzzy, but
he did capture the essence of the battle. We gave him da Order of the Golden Gob
for his efforts - posthumously.
Here ya can see me lads approachin' da burnt out radio base. Wazdakka Gutzmek was in charge.
Dis is da left flank wit me Battlewagon.
On da right wuz two Deff Kopta squadrons backed up by Wazdakka's bikerz and a mob
of Ork marines.
In da center, a mob of Boyz heads for the radio building wit Zzap gunz in support
Da Ultras under kommand of Matthew the Wise lined up wit some Assault Marines on their right,
a couple of their battlewagons and dreadnaughts behind da building, and more Ultra Boyz holding their left.
We started things off wit me Koptas charging up da right. Me Marines followed up behind to
grab a sacred urn in da wrecked chapel and maybe a big gold meteorite beyond
Dem Ultras looked like they wanted to keep the meteor
Wazdakka's Boys weren't far behind da Koptas
Koptas bend around past da sacred urn set to lob some rokkits into dem Ultras
Me Black Knightz Shoota Boyz storm toward the radio building and heave a
heap of lead at the Ultra Scouts
On me left, a mob of Lootas occupy a hill wit a power transformer on it and
start dismantling it. Ya can see da Bikerz in da distance while me Battlewagon
lines up its Killkannon on da Ultra Assault flyerz, but it misses badly.
Shaky took a chance flyin' over the Ultra's position to get a shot of the Marines
storming the busted up chapel.
As Shaky pulled around, he got a pick of da dreadnaughts hiding behind
da radio building
Me Marines pour into the chapel ruins as da Bikerz go rumbling by
On the left, the Ultras decided to come up and get some.
Their Razorback manages to get a laskannon shot in and knock out da Killkannon
On the right, the lead Kopta mob rounds the building and line up rokkits on the dreadnaghts
Unfortunately, Ultra Devastator fire and Dread assault kannons knock da Koptas outta da sky.
The other Kopta squad maneuvers to put rokkits up their back side while da Bikerz
put their Dakkagunz on them Devastators.
Da Kopta rokkits all miss, so da dreads decide to knock da Bikerz around.
They were purty good at it...
The other Koptas move off to cover a Stormboy landing behind the radio building.
The dreads decide me Marines done desecrated their chapel enuff and move over
to put a stop to that party.
And here comes Zagstruk wit his flying circus
Meanwhile, me Battlewagon gets hung up on the hillside, so Tankbustas are
forced to dismount
One of their Bomb Squiggs gets loose and charges a Rhino. Too bad, Mr. Rhino
That forces an Ultra squad to bail out. Looks like everybody is walkin'
Well, not everybody. Battle Captain Matthew decides me Stormboyz might cause some trouble so
he rolled his Razorback around to stall the festivities.
Wit some adroit use of flamers, he set alight several of me Boyz Rokkit pak fuel cells.
Dat started a chain-reaction that didn't work out well. Last we saw of dem wuz
some flaming streaks through the sky. Kinda purty.
About this time, the Ultras on the left decided to coordinate an assault on me center.
They started pourin' flank fire in to the Black Knightz
Being well drilled lads, the Boyz pivot and let loose wit their Shootas
We knocked down a couple of Assault Fly boy Ultras, but they kept coming.
The Tack Squad pulls back and decides to make a run for the high ground.
In the upper right you can just see the Razorback coming back to the front.
Me Tankbustaz see what the Tack Squad is doin' and start moving up the hill to
give them a special greetin'.
Meanwhile, the Assault Ultras get their dander up and decide to charge
me Knightz.
These guys are over-the-top, litterally.
Unfortunately, the Knightz broke and ran like a bunch of little girls. The Ultras
still had their wind up, so they start chasin' me Tankbustaz. The Razorback
puts the coup
de grace to me luverly Battlewagon. The Zzap guns powder
a couple of Ultras, but repeated over-amping of the gunz eventually turn
the Grotz into Squigg fodder.
Up on the hill, the Tankbustas are ticked off that their ride is finished, so
release a couple of Bomb Squiggs.
Revenge is sweet. You could hear those boyz singin' all the way to Terra;
"Who let the Squiggs out - aarrk, arrkk!" Toasted dat Razorback!
Speakin' of crazed Squigg types, them Ultra boyz come swarmin' up the hill
like a pak of rabid Armageddon Boarz, while the Tack Squad struggles up the
slope.
The Assault Ultras were not to be denied and pretty much took out the
Tankbustaz, but not before they plugged a few of the Tacks
That left me Marines hunkered down in the ruined chapel. The Dreads had
blood in their eyes - or optical scannerz. Anyway, they started whittlin' down
me valiant Boyz.
The wounded dread finally makes it up to the wall, and the combination proved
to be too much for the Marines - even me Nob couldn't put a dent in the purty
blue armor.
The Boyz finally broke and headed for the house.
Well, that was the end of our little foray. Dem Ultras is tough. But they
won't be listening to no radio broadcasts for awhile... Har, har, har, har, harrrrr...
1250 Orks
1500 IG
Sanguine Fist 
Lion's Claw
