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Just a minute ago, I was having trouble opening a bottle of soda because my arthritis is acting up, then I had a sudden realization. "Hey! I don't need brute force, I'm a thinking, tool-using creature, damnit." So I took up the nearest hobby knife and cut a couple of holes in the neck of the bottle, one for the soda to come out and one for air to come in so it would pour smoothly. Now I am enjoying soda over ice. Anybody else lately have a sudden "Aha!" moment they wish to share?

My back gives me some rare ol' jip from time to time to the point where bending over is a no no.
However I needed to pick up some discarded clothing from the floor.
So I grabbed a coat hanger "broke it" and used the hook on it to pick up me socks.
Worked pretty well actually considering it was very off the cuff as an idea.

A jar of pickled onions.
You know how they are heat treated and inside there is a vacuum which makes the lid pop when opened, well being not that strong i was struggling with it.
Then it hit me like a lighting bolt, stab the lid with a large kitchen knife to equalize the inside pressure to that out side.
One hit and a hiss later I was enjoying some of the finest pickled onions for me tea

Pickled onions for tea?!

I was having a salad (got to watch me waist line)...and tea is another name for dinner...so yeah

Whoa this is new, so tea time....is slang for dinner time? Learned me something new there

Ribon Fox wrote:A jar of pickled onions.
You know how they are heat treated and inside there is a vacuum which makes the lid pop when opened, well being not that strong i was struggling with it.
Then it hit me like a lighting bolt, stab the lid with a large kitchen knife to equalize the inside pressure to that out side.
One hit and a hiss later I was enjoying some of the finest pickled onions for me tea

Hate those types of jars, I sort them out by using a thick rubber band on the lid provides the grip needed to open it a fair bit easier.

KingCracker wrote:Whoa this is new, so tea time....is slang for dinner time? Learned me something new there

Same over here too, you get to learn even more.

In the north of england "dinner" means lunch (as you have a "school dinner" at lunch time) and "tea" means dinner (because as you've already had a cooked meal you only need something light in the evening).

I've had long arguments with my grandmother as to how this makes no sense but it is commonly used none the less.

Also, the OP cut open a bottle with a hobby knife?

KingCracker wrote:Whoa this is new, so tea time....is slang for dinner time? Learned me something new there

You did not know? It seems you need to go overseas more

I get strange looks here whenever I say dinner to certain people here.

On topic. my genius improvisition ideas tend to hurt me :/

Nom

corpsesarefun wrote:In the north of england "dinner" means lunch (as you have a "school dinner" at lunch time) and "tea" means dinner (because as you've already had a cooked meal you only need something light in the evening).

I had a similar discussion with a bloke I used to work with from Yorkshire, he called lunch lunch, not dinner. So do I (I'm from the Midlands), yet we had dinner ladies in school... weird. They're called lunch ladies in US (as it should be IMO) I call the evening meal Tea aswell, though some other people in the UK (England, anyway) call it supper.

So has dinner come to mean both lunch and tea somehow? It's so confusing.

Yeah my grandma is from Yorkshire whereas I was born and raised in Wiltshire, here lunch is the mid-day meal and dinner is the evening meal whereas up north lunch doesn't exist, dinner is the mid-day meal and tea is the evening meal.

Ah yes, the greate north south devied, it all boils down to how and when you have or take tea.
I know some up'tit'north folk (got faimly in Redcar). It maskes all kinds of sence when your up there but when the come down to the south where we have running water and electricity (thats a joke) they tend to stand out like a sore thumb due to their over friendly-ness.

My crumpets looked done but they had fallen deep into the toaster, so I decided to take them out with a knife.

My girlfriend screamed and pulled me away, calling me a *blank* idiot for doing so to a plugged in toaster.

But this is still using tools to solve a situation right? Just trial/error natural selection in action? She shouldn't have interfered and I should be dead; benefit to the species

Henners91 wrote:My crumpets looked done but they had fallen deep into the toaster, so I decided to take them out with a knife.

My girlfriend screamed and pulled me away, calling me a *blank* idiot for doing so to a plugged in toaster.

But this is still using tools to solve a situation right? Just trial/error natural selection in action? She shouldn't have interfered and I should be dead; benefit to the species

Civilization is a crime against nature.

KingCracker wrote:Whoa this is new, so tea time....is slang for dinner time? Learned me something new there

Aye in our house (North east) its always been breakfast- dinner- tea.

I think Americans started the whole "lunch" thing didn't they?

And then Dinner got moved to evening meal.

mattyrm wrote:

KingCracker wrote:Whoa this is new, so tea time....is slang for dinner time? Learned me something new there

Aye in our house (North east) its always been breakfast- dinner- tea.

I think Americans started the whole "lunch" thing didn't they?

And then Dinner got moved to evening meal.

My wife is a foreigner. She is from Chicago. She says dinner for supper on occasion. I love her anyway.

Sounds like ground for divorce, Frazz...

Breakfast, Lunch, Supper. That's it.

I thought it was Breakfast, Second Breakfast, Brunch, Lunch, Afternoon Coffee and Cake, Dinner, 4th Meal, Bedtime Snack?

kronk wrote:
Breakfast, Lunch, Supper. That's it.

Exactly.

Re the unopenable jar quandry, sit it lid down in some boiling water for 30 seconds. The lid will expand ever so slightly and easily come off.

This also results in the jar being usable if for example you didn't want to eat a whole jar of stab onions in one go.

I call dinner tea-time and i'm a cockney. In my house that only really applied for sunday though after a big roast lunch. So a tea of sandwiches and battenberg.

Which is a bit odd as I dont drink tea, it's as grim as pickled onions in my book and makes your breath smell as bad.

As for good ideas I have plenty, all the time. But on reflection they are almost certainly copied from sources I have since forgotten about. Like vasseline to the soles of your socks to prevent blisters (it works a treat but is only recommended for rugger boots).

mattyrm wrote:

KingCracker wrote:Whoa this is new, so tea time....is slang for dinner time? Learned me something new there

Aye in our house (North east) its always been breakfast- dinner- tea.

I think Americans started the whole "lunch" thing didn't they?

And then Dinner got moved to evening meal.

As far as I understand it up north folk were historically poorer so were prone to have hearty meals around lunchtime to fuel the day of work (similar to people having hearty breakfasts in continental europe) whereas the richer folk down south would partake in a lighter luncheon (lunch for short) then have an evening feast.

corpsesarefun wrote:In the north of england "dinner" means lunch (as you have a "school dinner" at lunch time) and "tea" means dinner (because as you've already had a cooked meal you only need something light in the evening).

I've had long arguments with my grandmother as to how this makes no sense but it is commonly used none the less.

Also, the OP cut open a bottle with a hobby knife?

Yeah, it was a regular plastic soda bottle.

While eating my pizza just before we were to have a staff meeting, one of my co-workers decided to be 'funny' and pick-up my cane and move it well out of my reach. He figured this would leave me in a quandry;
a) use the paint table + demo table to balance myself to go fetch my cane, thus leaving my pizza unguarded and an easy target.

b) keep eating my pizza and be unable to move.

I took option 'c' instead;
balance pizza in one hand like a server, slowly and deftly hop on my good leg over to where my cane had been placed, turn about and proceed to beat the jerk for thinking I was completely helpless!

This caused much halarity as my co-worker realised the depth of his error!



Most of my friends however think it's slightly miraculous whenever I come up with any kind of an idea, simply due to the numerous head injuries I've suffered.

I have never seen a plastic soda bottle.

kronk wrote:Sounds like ground for divorce, Frazz...

Breakfast, Lunch, Supper. That's it.

Lies. Supper is a small snack before dinner.

Here supper is a snack after dinner (around 10-11pm).

corpsesarefun wrote:I have never seen a plastic soda bottle.

??? Really? It's getting harder to find glass soda bottles around here. These plastic ones are pretty much the norm for soda bottles.

Aye, all of the 380-600ml bottles with Coke, Sprite, 7UP, tango, Lucozade and so on are plastic now.

You have to go to the bigger stores to even find glass ones these days, and thats mostly for sentimental value.

I think, again, this is one of those lost in translation things. Soda is not used as a catch all term for soft drinks in the UK. Surely he has seen plastic coke bottles before.