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hey ya'll just started a story over on fan fiction i will be posting it here as well please reveiw and comment.
Its a cross over between harry potter and 40k


Chapter one

All characters other than thee ones I created belong to their respective creators. J.K. Rowling and the Space marines belong to Games-Workshop so please don't sue me.

"All hands brace for warp entree, I repeat all hands brace for warp entree" the voice over the buzzer blared for what seemed like the thousandth time.

"Warp it's the place for the dammed wouldn't you agree Brother?"

Brother Avail turned around to see Sergeant Razor staring at him into his face.

"Indeed I do agree with you on this subject. Although for some strange reason I have a bad feeling about this jump"

"How come?"

" I cant place my finger on it I just feel as if this is the last time I see this year."

"Have you talked to the Libearian about this?"

Just as this was uttered Brother-Libarian Vision walked in though the door. He was the newest Liberian added to the order.

"Talked to me about what?"

"Go on tell him" Razor goateed.

"I have this feeling that when we go though the Warp that we will not see this year anymore."

"That is interesting indeed. What if I told you that I had the same feeling?"

" Well I would be relived and scared out of my mind"

" It is human to be scared but it is fitting of a space marine to use that fear and make it into courage for others to see and follow"

"You always had a way to calm even the angriest Marine down or inspire the biggest conscript coward. How about you tell us how you calmed down that space wolf after you took his beer away?"

Rubbing his face " I didn't, Well at least not until after he punched me in the face a few times"

"Warp entree in 5... 4... 3...2...1." With that the ship entered the warp.

"Harry get your lazy butt down here NOW!" Uncle Vernon screamed. "I am not going to be late because you refuse to get up in time to cook me my breakfast!"

:"On my way Uncle Vernon" Harry replied grabbing his glasses from his night stand. He quickly ran down stairs knowing that if he didn't get there fast he would receive another savage beating. God he thought to himself why did my parents have to die in a car crash. "What would you like?"

"About time boy I was about to get my belt out. I would like some toast coffee…"

Harry just started starring into space knowing what he wanted already. For his uncle had the same thing every morning.

"Boy are you listening to me at all?"

"Yes uncle I am. You want steak medium-rare, eggs sunny-side up, hash browns, coffee black and toast with peanut butter already spread on them."

Vernon was pleased that Harry knew what he wanted but wasn't about to let him off easy. " Boy I said the steak was well-done. What are trying to do give me food poisoning?"

Well that's it for chapter one. I know not much happening as of right now but I promise it will pick up as it goes along. I was also thinking about maybe giving Harry a twin brother who was really the one who defeated you know who and not Harry. I know another author has done something like this but I love this idea so much I cant leave it out of mine.

*Entry
*Rowling
*Librarian
I don't really like cross-overs and a Harry Potter/40k Cross-over seems like the reason i don't like them. Don't do the twin brother idea... That would be stupid.. er.

EDIT: Also, *Writing a story.

alrightie fixed that.

Chapter 2
Ok here is the 2nd chapter. I will write up to 3 chapters and will only write more if people start reviewing and commenting on this story. For if no one is reading this I will not write any more.

A jolt of light was all Brother Avail saw before he passed out. When he came to he looked down at the ground to see he was no longer on the ship. “ I knew something was going to happen. FRAK, FRAK, FRAK!”

“Stop that or the Captain will have your hide”

“Razor is that you?”

“Yes and I hate warp jumps have I ever told you that?”

“Razor were not on the ship any more!”

“What do you mean where no longer on the ship?”

“Look around you Fracken idiot! Do you see any metal boards or for that matter do you see a single Servitor?”

“Frack, your right. Is anyone else here with us?”

“I don’t know.”

“Alright lets see here do you have any weapons at all? And I mean anything”

“Yes I have my side arm and 3 clips of ammunition. Why do you ask Razor”

“Well we are on a unknown planet and I think having a stock of what we have before we do anything might be a good idea considering we don’t know what could be out there.”

In all they had between them 2 bolt pistols, 6 clips of ammunition, 2 combat knifes, and of course their training robes which they wore.

“Good, now lets…” The bush’s started to rattle causing Avail to stop and for both to draw their weapons and point it at the noise.”

“In the Name of Him on Terra reveal your self or we will open fire upon you!” Razor shouted at bush.

“Now is that anyway to greet a Brother Razor?”

“Brother Liberian Vision!” Both space marines shouted.

“Indeed it was me. I knew this was going to happen. The God emperor came to me in a vision saying that there was event in a different reality that we must go back and guide correctly less it destroy the Imperium of Man. So I was instructed to find two men worthy of accompanying me to here.”

“So you knew about this! Then why didn’t you just tell us?” Razor said bitterly.

“I did not know when we were going to be sent back and I do not know when or where we are before you ask.”
“How did you know I was going to ask that?” Avail said defensively.

“I can read minds remember or did this teleportation leave you more stupid than before?” Vision proclaimed with a grin on his face.
“Alright so what do we know about where we are and what we are suppose to do?”

With a grin on his face Vision proclaimed “Nothing.”

Well that’s chapter 2 for you guys. Please comment and review. Let me know what you think.

Thank you guys for reviewing and hope this chapter is long enough for you guys.
Chapter 3
Harry was stunned when he saw ,in the mail that he picked up, a letter that was addressed to him. No one had ever written to Harry before. This was all he could think about as he walked back into the kitchen to give his uncle the mail,
“Who could have sent this to me?” Harry thought to himself.
“Hey boy what do you have there?” Vernon asked.
“Nothing just a letter that was addressed to me.”
With a bit of fear in his voice for he knew what this might be, “Boy you’d better hand over that letter to me right now!”
“Why?”
“Don’t you second guess me! You lousy BASTARD!” Vernon practically screamed as he backhanded Harry across the face leaving a huge red mark. That would probably bruise in a hour or so.
Harry rode the recoil of the hand to keep it from hurting as bad as it might of. “I am sorry uncle. I will try to not let it happen again.”
“You’d better, or else you’ll feel the back of my hand again and this time I wont strike nearly as light!”
Harry knew that he could not hit him any harder for Vernon always threatened with that and could not hit Harry any harder no matters how much he tried.
“Now go into your room and lie on your bed before I get the mind to hit you for standing there.”
With that dismissal Harry started the short walk from his kitchen to his room under the stair case when he saw another letter come though the slot.
More mail already cant be Harry thought. As he picked it up he saw that once again it was addressed to him. Instead of taking it back to his uncle who no doubt would take it and find another reason to backhand him. He head into his room that was little more than a closet.
As he opened it he read and could not believe it, even though he knew that is was addressed to him, it started out with Dear Harry Potter,
Dear Harry Potter,
We bring the tidings of good news. You have been accepted into the school of Hogwarts witchcraft and wizardry. This is no small feat and so must be treated as great honor. We look forward to your coming school year.
Sign,
Albus Dumador
Harry did not know what to make of this letter. Surely it was a fake. No it must be a fake. For there was no such thing as witch or a wizard and surely if there was he was not one of them. For the only thing different about him other than the fact that his guardians were abusive as a American Hill-Billy drunk on moonshine. Was a scar in the shape of a lighting bolt. That ran down his forehead.
Mean while the marines…
“Ok we need to find a place to stay if we are to remain.” avail told the group.
“I agree bother avail” Vision said in agreement.
“What about over there in that nationhood. Looks like a place where one could get lost.” Razor proclaimed as he point in the direction of the street he had indicted.
“Are you sure about that?” Avail asked hesitantly.
“Yes I am. We don’t know who or what inhabits this world. For all we know we could be somewhere that is controlled by orks. So stop your moaning and lets get a move on!” Razor pronounced with great stress on the stop moaning.
With that said the trio started off at a brisk walk in their robes.
Alphonse could not believe his luck. As he saw those three guys walking down HIS street towards him. They looked like they had a lot of money. Sure they looked big and carried big looking pistols no assault rifles had to be he thought to him self. He knew his boys could easily take them. As always though he was going to give them the option to hand over everything they had or die. Ha he laughed to him self. Last time someone had turned over everything they owned had been by a young redhead girl with glasses on. Little did she know that everything meant everything. In so him and his boys took great pleasure in deflowering her. He glanced around at his trap he had set. It was not a easy one to get out of. As soon as they got into the kill zone two of his boys would block both ends of the street and get out of their cars and make them run into his alley. Where him and 25 of his best hand picked boys laid in wait.
“Hey boss? Think they have another girl with them. The one we got last time Hermione I think her name was, seems kinda lonely back at the crib wouldn’t you agree?”
With a smile Alphonse smiled as he remembered that they still held that girl hostage waiting for her family to pay them. “ I hope your right. She seems to be getting kinda borin….”
He never finished his sentences as a knife collided with his forehead causing him to fall over dead.
“Nice throw Razor. “ Vision thought to his brother.
“Thanks now can I deal with the rest with my Knife?”
They deserve it for what they did to that girl. Vision thought but this time to him self.
“You know what I am going to kill them all anyways with or with out your permission so just give it already.” Razor muttered low enough so that way Vision could hear him and the guys who were running around in that valley ,like a chicken with his head cut off, could not hear him.
“Go ahead I think Avail is just toying with those guys who tried to box us into this street now anyways.”
With that Razor let out a war cry that shook the foundations of some of the buildings around him. As he charged at a full sprint into the group of murdering, thieving, low life gangsters. The Gangsters now realizing where the knife had come from started to fire at the approaching figure. Unloading every single bullet all of them had in there first magazine. Only to see it pounce off a glimmering white shield in front of him.
Avail was having the time of his life. He had four correct three now teenage looking kids still alive but with all there legs and arms broken.
“NOW what do you have to say for attacking some random person walking down the street.” Avail asked the scrawny white kid as he held him up by his brown hair.
“GO Frak your self!” the kid returned right before spitting into his face.
With that Avail sighed. As he threw the boy onto the ground and curve stomped his skull into the ground smashing it into a hundred different pieces. Now he was down to only two left. Although his instructions from both Razor and Vision was to keep as many of them alive as possible so they could find there center of operations. He was finding it harder and harder to resist the urge of just shooting each one in the head and being done with them.
Al could not believe his eyes. He was suppose to just watch this and learn how to do this so when he officially became part of the gang tomorrow he knew what to do. Instead he watch in disbelief at first when the knife found its way into Alphonse head with out a warning. Then he saw the figure who had done this charge into his fellow gang members. He was glad to see that the guy was dumb as he was good at throwing knifes. For no one could charge straight at a group of 25 people armed with guns with nothing but a knife and win, but as he saw. This guy was not your normal person. Not only had he managed to reach his fellow gang members but when he did the carnage was horrible. He empty his stomach and his bowls just by watching this giant man tear up his friends. He saw them torn limb from limb and tossed around like rag dolls. Even when Big B tried to fight him in hand to hand with the sword he always carried was no match for this guy. In fact the giant seemed to take extra delight in killing him. Not only in the expression on his face, but in his voice as he had shoved his hand into Big B’s stomach and ripped out his spaniel cord. Then he felt the giants hand pick him up one handed by his hair.
“Brother Librarian Vision I found one sitting up here on top of this building. What should I do with him. Cut his throat open with my knife as I did the others?” Razor asked as he drug the kid by his now bleeding scalp.
“Keep him alive we need to ask him some questions, since Avail couldn’t help but slaughter the ones whom we had captured earlier.”
With the look that over came Razor, Vision couldn’t help but add “ and you’re the one who will get to interrogate him. By any means necessary.”
With that Razor smiled. This will be fun he thought to himself.
Ok that was chapter three. I hope you guys like what happened to the gang. This was my first massed fight scene so please review and comment on how I could improve this.

People in Britain don't carry guns around.
It would also appear you haven't bothered to address your increasing spelling mistakes...
And i know you wanna make the gang seem like bad guys so you can justify slaughtering them but is it necessary to mention rape and kidnap?

To me as a Texan and some one who comes from a strong military back round ( every male is expected to serve although we have the choice we always pick a career in the military) There is no one more evil than some one who rapes and kidnaps

A good, thorough spell check will go a long way. Seriously, normally I let spelling slide in other places on the forum, but in the fiction section it should be one of your primary concerns.

Also, a Harry Potter/40k crossover? Eugh...sorry, but I normally strongly dislike crossovers, and Harry Potter/40k makes the least amount of sense. Whatever floats your boat, but I wouldn't expect a lot of constructive feedback outside of improving your spelling/grammar.

The marines could also swear less. Its not necessary and doesn't really add anything.

wpago wrote:To me as a Texan and some one who comes from a strong military back round ( every male is expected to serve although we have the choice we always pick a career in the military) There is no one more evil than some one who rapes and kidnaps

That's all well and good but behavior like that doesn't go unnoticed in many societies, they'd be shut down pretty quickly.

Blacksails wrote:A good, thorough spell check will go a long way. Seriously, normally I let spelling slide in other places on the forum, but in the fiction section it should be one of your primary concerns.

Also, a Harry Potter/40k crossover? Eugh...sorry, but I normally strongly dislike crossovers, and Harry Potter/40k makes the least amount of sense. Whatever floats your boat, but I wouldn't expect a lot of constructive feedback outside of improving your spelling/grammar.

The marines could also swear less. Its not necessary and doesn't really add anything.

Also all of this.