Parking in China is Serious Business

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**Monster Rain**

http://bbs.chinadaily.com.cn/thread-744542-1-1.html

April 19, a female scooter rider killed a man by squeezing his testicles for the packing dispute, in Haikou City, Hainan Province.
It was learned, the woman, 41 years old, rode on her scooter to an elementary school in Meilan District, Haikou City to pick up her child that day. When she wanted to pack her scooter in front of a shop, she was rejected by the shop owner, a 42-year-old male.
The two parties soon fell into a quarrel, and then the physical confrontation. The furious woman called up her husband and brother to come help her, which resulted in a more violent fist fight.
During the fight, the middle aged woman manged to grab the man’s testicles, and squeezed them till he finally collapsed on the ground.
The man was immediately rushed to hospital, but unfortunately died there despite of efforts.

**Ahtman**

That...that is one tight grip.

**Coolyo294**

Kung-fu grip.

**d-usa**

She had him right by the Dragonballs.

**deathholydeath**

wow... I just... what an awful way to die...

**Monster Rain**

Am I the only one that thought of Friday?

**mattyrm**

They must have beaten him to death or something, a woman on a hen party grabbed my knacker sack and squeezed them extremely hard while her comrades cackled loudly and spurred her onto further acts of testicular carnage, and I merely had a three day limp.

This was at the bar in a Wetherspoons Pub, so technically I was asking for it.

**JohnnoM**

What a fething bitch.

**Orlanth**

You can have something called a 'twisted testicle' which can be fatal. It doesn't appear much so its an injury that is easy to overlook.

http://www.patient.co.uk/health/Torsion-of-the-Testis.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testicular_torsion

Squeeze is one thing, twist does the real damage.

Remember ladies, squeeze then twist.

**KingCracker**

Good god! I honestly never knew you could die from having your bits and bobs squeezed like that. That poor man!

**Melissia**

Maybe it just sapped his will to live.

**Ouze**

mattyrm wrote: They must have beaten him to death or something, a woman on a hen party grabbed my knacker sack and squeezed them extremely hard while her comrades cackled loudly and spurred her onto further acts of testicular carnage, and I merely had a three day limp.

This was at the bar in a Wetherspoons Pub, so technically I was asking for it.

I knew that any comment Matty had on this story would be pure gold, and I was not disappointed.

**BlapBlapBlap**

Why is there no emoticon for complete and utter horror?!
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!

**Surtur**

**Ahtman**

Spoiler:

**notprop**

This story is bollox.

**Jumpin Jesus**

Wow. And this was all over parking? Someone died because they denied someone else to park at their busines... Crazy.

**alarmingrick**

What an "unhappy" ending.

**KingCracker**

notprop wrote:This story is bollox.

Oh its balls alright

**alarmingrick**

KingCracker wrote:
notprop wrote:This story is bollox.

Oh its balls alright

You mean they were balls...

**KingCracker**

Ba dum tsh!

**mattyrm**

Ouze wrote:
mattyrm wrote: They must have beaten him to death or something, a woman on a hen party grabbed my knacker sack and squeezed them extremely hard while her comrades cackled loudly and spurred her onto further acts of testicular carnage, and I merely had a three day limp.

This was at the bar in a Wetherspoons Pub, so technically I was asking for it.

I knew that any comment Matty had on this story would be pure gold, and I was not disappointed.

Honest to God, true story that mate. Stood at the bar in The Isaac Wilsons in Middlesbrough, gang of women, one shouted "Hes nice looking him!" and the next thing one grabs my clems while the rest all burst out laughing and started hooting. I went "Jesus!" and tried to dance away but she genuinelly had hold of them hard through my shorts (It was summer)

Wetherspoons pubs are always full of smashed chavs so, it made most people in the place laugh, but I remember telling my dad the next day and he said "I wonder how you would get on if you were on a stag party and you grabbed a random woman by the flaps?"

**Relapse**

Ahtman wrote:

Spoiler:

That looks like something that could have been in one of Count Dante's old books.

**notprop**

Yeah, the testes is whether it works in real life.

**Medium of Death**

This story makes me feel pretty ill.

**Orlanth**

mattyrm wrote:

Wetherspoons pubs are always full of smashed chavs so, it made most people in the place laugh, but I remember telling my dad the next day and he said "I wonder how you would get on if you were on a stag party and you grabbed a random woman by the flaps?"

Its a more 'even' society than people think. If you had complained to the police about sexual assault they would have had to have taken it seriously.

**LunaHound**

Orlanth wrote:

Remember ladies, squeeze then twist.

Bite it off!

**Duce**

mattyrm wrote:
Ouze wrote:
mattyrm wrote: They must have beaten him to death or something, a woman on a hen party grabbed my knacker sack and squeezed them extremely hard while her comrades cackled loudly and spurred her onto further acts of testicular carnage, and I merely had a three day limp.

This was at the bar in a Wetherspoons Pub, so technically I was asking for it.

I knew that any comment Matty had on this story would be pure gold, and I was not disappointed.

Honest to God, true story that mate. Stood at the bar in The Isaac Wilsons in Middlesbrough, gang of women, one shouted "Hes nice looking him!" and the next thing one grabs my clems while the rest all burst out laughing and started hooting. I went "Jesus!" and tried to dance away but she genuinelly had hold of them hard through my shorts (It was summer)

Wetherspoons pubs are always full of smashed chavs so, it made most people in the place laugh, but I remember telling my dad the next day and he said "I wonder how you would get on if you were on a stag party and you grabbed a random woman by the flaps?"

Should have punched her, its gentleman behaviour until they touch the balls like that. then its gloves off, being a woman shouldn't save them from a hard punch to the face for acting like that. As you say, if you did that to a girls bits you'd be in jail.

**Frazzled**

Ahtman wrote:That...that is one tight grip.

They always said Kung Fu Grip was a killer. Beats the five strike palm exploding heart technique by a country mile.

**Manchu**

FATALITY!