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Made in us
Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus






Alrighty, then! Welcome to the super secret awesome club thingy of DOOOOOM!!! This is mainly a thread for myself, Blacksails, and Prime12357 to post up brainstorming ideas for our group project. Feedback from other people is appreciated, but I would rather it be kept to a minimum.
I'll start:
The story revolves around a planet under Imperial Rule, where a tyrant who made a deal with the Imperium got to keep his position as long as he followed instructions from the High Lords of Terra. The trouble is, the people still didn't like it. One year, the usual Imperial Tithe of Guardsmen arrived, with news of a particular devastating defeat in one sector far, far away. For some reason or other, this was the final straw for the citizens of Planet X, and they rose up in rebellion against the Tyrant. They agreed to still follow Imperial Rule as long as they could choose how they wished to be governed. Needless to say, the Tyrant didn't want that happening, and sent his guard and anyone still loyal to him to stop the rebellion. Meanwhile, the Arbites, not knowing who's who in this particular conflict, and simply following their orders, began to fire indiscriminately on the crowds.
And then, it's cluster time.
So, Blacksails, Prime, what do you think, rocks or sucks?

Lord Judicator Valdrakh of the Atun Dynasty (6th Ed: W:3, L:4, D:0)

 H.B.M.C. wrote:
Well GW were mostly responsible for the Berlin Wall, so it's natural for some people to harbour resentment towards them.
 
   
Made in ca
Lord of the Fleet






Halifornia, Nova Scotia

I like the concept, though I have some mild issues with the details behind the why, how, and potato of the matter.

It'd be more 40k-ish/grimdark and, in my opinion, more awesome if the current planetary governor was a staunch imperialist, unswerving in his loyalty to duty and Emperor. Coupled with this are strict measures implemented in the name of the Emperor to root out chaos and improve production across the planet.

The population, labouring under these draconian terms finally reach a breaking point due to somebody accidentally hitting the plot device and triggering all the successive events that make a story.

The local PDF/Imperial Guard regiments raised from this planet are split in their loyalty, leading to a civil war with both trained professionals and the common rabble on both sides.

This can allow for a number of various POVs. The most interesting ones would be that of the governor, or perhaps his close aide; then you would have some sort of loyalist fighting on the ground, perhaps a commissar; then you'd need the perspective from the rebels; finally you could add the arbites or some sort of additional Imperial branch to help (Sororitas, Astartes, Inquisition) as added flavour.

Same sort of idea, just kinda flipped on your head. I think it fits the grim dark universe a little better, and makes the reader want to like the 'good' guys (the loyalists) because we like the Imperium but they treat the populace like used toilet paper, while the rebels are both likeable for fighting for an ideal, yet despicable for turning their backs on mankind for their own selfish desires, like free time, good wages, healthcare, and better lagers.

Mordian Iron Guard - Major Overhaul in Progress

+Spaceship Gaming Enthusiast+

Live near Halifax, NS? Ask me about our group, the Ordo Haligonias! 
   
Made in us
Fully-charged Electropriest





Boston!

I like this direction, too (though still open to change). Perhaps the rebellion snowballs, with the planet's share of cults and covens coming out of the cracks to try to take power, trade cartels taking advantage of the chaos to capture disputed trade routes, individuals enacting vendettas against those that wronged them, etc. Perhaps all this cluster attracts even more unsavory foes from farther afield, i.e. some chaos warband.

Civil unrest and riots are all fine and good, but what about total war?

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/05/14 03:14:41


 
   
Made in us
Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus






I think this conflict would eventually degrade into an all-out civil war between the two parties, maybe to the point where they start using nuclear weapons on each other (if they have any, to say). I could see, however, some chaos cults getting in on the action as well.
I want to say this conflict should be restricted to just the governor dude with the loyalists and the rebels, with forces in the pdf and guard on both sides. I would imagine the arbites, who are simply carrying out the Emperor's justice, would remain with the governor and the loyalist, though there could be a small dissenter camp within.
I would also like to point the attentions of this group, before we go any further with the rebellion, to the planet itself. What kind of planet is it? hive world? desert world? manufactorum? Perhaps we should figure out this first, as it will then go to characterize the type of people we are writing about.

Lord Judicator Valdrakh of the Atun Dynasty (6th Ed: W:3, L:4, D:0)

 H.B.M.C. wrote:
Well GW were mostly responsible for the Berlin Wall, so it's natural for some people to harbour resentment towards them.
 
   
Made in us
Fully-charged Electropriest





Boston!

Good plan with the planet. Of course, I think it would be best to figure out first what story we want to tell, and then come up with a setting to fit that story. That said, a moderately populated hive world seems the best fit for a civil war. Perhaps the planet's two spires pit themselves against one another.

I like Blacksails' idea of different viewpoints of the same conflict, perhaps the governor, an arbites officer with split loyalties (or something), a staunch rebel, an apathetic ad mech type just watching what's happening, an astropath several sectors away following the developments as he passes them on...

It could also be interesting to document different periods of this event, starting with food riots, then rebellion, then all-out civil war, and then perhaps the aftermath. Another question related to this, what 'stage' of this conflict do we want to focus on?

I had the idea today of a planet that had been infected by a plague, which led to civil unrest, uprising of Nurgle cults and then finally fullscale chaos invasion. Of course, we could simply use the plague as the catalyst for the previously discussed conflict.
   
Made in ca
Lord of the Fleet






Halifornia, Nova Scotia

I'd like the planet to be a hive world or manufactorum heavy world (some cross between Armageddon and Mordian), which allows us to have a good, solid disgruntled labour class toiling away in the manufactorums/lower hive.

In the introduction of the whole story, you can simply explain that some hives fell under imperial control immediately and others fell to the rebels. Those hives would carry out their own personal wars against neighbouring hives under the enemy's influence. Then we'd simply point out that those conflicts in those hives are not our focus, but rather the capital hive, the largest most influential hive. Home of the governor and a sizeable chunk of the planet's population, the capital hive gives us plenty of space for large and small scale warfare. The fate of the planet would logically fall to who controlled the capital hive, which would allow us to tell a variety of tales from the frightened child in the undercity, to the loyal soldier, to the fanatic rebel, all the way up to the governor (or equally important friend of the governor) himself.

I'm not fussy if we want to focus on the initial stages, the fully developped war, or the end/aftermath. Also, if we include chaos, we'd have to build in a good, subtle reason and development.

The Nurgle plague can work, seeing as much of the city would be toxic anyways. We'd have to decide where the chaos element first becomes important; the beginning of the conflict (helping start the war), the middle (adding a common foe to both sides or having the rebels slowly become cultists), or the end (after the war is largely settled, but drags it out longer).

Mordian Iron Guard - Major Overhaul in Progress

+Spaceship Gaming Enthusiast+

Live near Halifax, NS? Ask me about our group, the Ordo Haligonias! 
   
Made in us
Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus






Okay, the consensus seems to be a hive/industrial world, with the Capital Hive being the center of our story.
So, Hive World X (anybody have ideas for names? Maybe since it's just another hive world in the Imperium, a somewhat mundane name) is experiencing a revolt, where different hives and some sections of other ones fight for independence from the Imperium and its Orwellian laws (Orwell, hmm... perhaps a "The Emperor is watching you" theme amongst the rebels or the loyalists, perhaps?). Trouble is, most (if not all) the hives surrounding the Capital house Separatists, and they are laying down a siege against the Capital Spire using the various weapons and tanks they produce. The loyalist hives are doing their best to break the siege, but are having troubles with partisans and guerrilla warfare disrupting the flow of arms and such.
(Kinda funny, really, I recently finished a research paper on guerrilla warfare in the American Civil War. Fate? )
I think Nurgle's plague won't come into fruition until during the full blown-out war, when either some nutty rebel leader or the governor sets off a hidden stash of virus bombs or something.
What would be really interesting is one side uses the plague to their advantage and simply cordons off their borders and let the plague-ridden zombies attack the other side, ignoring any pleas for help. If it's the governor, the ends justifies the means, and he will simply wipe out the plague after the rebels either die or surrender (or so he thinks); the rebels will more or less do the same, but take this as a sign that they are in the right (and also unwitting pawns of the Chaos Gods). How's that for grim dark?

Lord Judicator Valdrakh of the Atun Dynasty (6th Ed: W:3, L:4, D:0)

 H.B.M.C. wrote:
Well GW were mostly responsible for the Berlin Wall, so it's natural for some people to harbour resentment towards them.
 
   
Made in us
Fully-charged Electropriest





Boston!

Here's an idea. Perhaps the Separatists break away from the incredibly hardline imperial governor and his Orwellian laws, and this that and the other occurs. As the loyal governor starts losing many followers to the movement, he gets more desperate in his war, breaking out the ancient virus bombs and the like. As he loses control, his battle becomes not about imperial right and rule, but about personal power and control. To maintain his grip, he starts a campaign of genocide against all that would oppose him, but the separatists have too much power. Finally, he ends up making some deal with the devil in order to keep power. Enter chaos and the like
   
Made in us
Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus






If we go this route, maybe we could have someone in the governor's most trusted staff who has already fallen to the Dark Powers but is able to hide it. This person just happens to know the location of hidden virus bombs manufactured long ago. What he doesn't tell him is that he and his followers of Nurgle already knew about this place and did some rituals so the bombs would release the plague for such an opportunity as this. Kind of how Erebus seduced Horus to Chaos.
Btw, should I add these ideas to the first post, just so we are a tad more organized?

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/05/18 05:11:42


Lord Judicator Valdrakh of the Atun Dynasty (6th Ed: W:3, L:4, D:0)

 H.B.M.C. wrote:
Well GW were mostly responsible for the Berlin Wall, so it's natural for some people to harbour resentment towards them.
 
   
Made in us
Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus






You guys still there?

Lord Judicator Valdrakh of the Atun Dynasty (6th Ed: W:3, L:4, D:0)

 H.B.M.C. wrote:
Well GW were mostly responsible for the Berlin Wall, so it's natural for some people to harbour resentment towards them.
 
   
Made in ca
Rough Rider with Boomstick




Guelph Ontario

I'm here, and I'd like to see what you guys get up to.

Think of something clever to say. 
   
Made in us
Fully-charged Electropriest





Boston!

Yeah, I'm still here! I've been a bit swamped with school work, but we're almost out for the summer.

I think we should get a plot hammered out pretty soon, and then each take a different viewpoint to narrate the conflict, or at least a portion of it. I'm still for the idea of some world falling apart, as I think we've agreed upon, but we really need a hard timeline.



Ach, I may have gotten a bit inspired, concerning an orbital landing or some sort. I like the idea of a plague on the planet, so it sorta worked its way in. Anyways, let me know what you think.

Spoiler:



The rain had been falling for several hours now, turning the fields to mud and bringing upon an unnatural twilight. With the sun buried beneath the deep gloom of the storm, all was dark. Maybe it was even daytime. No one knew any more, all the chronometers had stopped working hours ago. As the skies let loose their torrents, the dugouts slowly filled with dampness, removing all the remaining comfort that the glorified holes had held. They were graves now. Cold wet and muddy. Welcoming, too. The holes embraced those that cowered within them with the friendliness of inevitability At once, the distant sky turned to fire. Darting among the forked strikes of lightning were the telltale streaks of orbital landers and drop pods, the streaks of fire illuminated the storm from inside and below, bringing moody light to the scene. Only the suggestion of their ungodly impacts could be heard in the distance over the primordial chant of distant thunder. It was beautiful.

Are we going to die?

The man looked over at his comrade, a fellow soldier, a boy. He crouched in the mud, wearing only his fear and a uniform for one much larger. Pale, scared and alone, the boy looked small against the backdrop of the storm. The man looked back towards the distant impacts of lightning and drop pods, towards the end of the world, and lied. The boy nodded, his fear not swayed as he buried deeper into his trench coat. It was soaking wet and offered no warmth. A small string of beads in his hand, he began to pray quietly.

The rain seemed to lighten a bit as the air went still. Not a breath of wind moved across the plains, nothing stirred the dead air. It was as if the sky were choking. The rain began to feel warm, sickly even. The impacts drew closer.

At once, the long dead vox unit sprang to life, spitting static and garbled noise. Surprised at the resurrection, the two soldiers turned to stare at the unit that sat against the opposite wall of their hole. Slowly, the static resolved itself into panicked cries for help, prayers, and the disembodied screams of those who were dying. The boy began to sob, though his tears were lost among the downfall of rain.

We’re not going to live, are we?

The man turned to face him, his face expressionless. There was nothing to say. His thoughts turned to his family, to his wife. They were gone, taken from him by the sickness that had ravaged the world, the plague. The officers had told the soldiers that more were coming to spread Death. The man would fight them, kill them in order to save others from his loss. His family was gone, all gone, swept away from him by Death. The scream of the falling drop pods could now be heard in the distance, their impacts felt through the earth. Once again, the vox fell into silence, mercifully cutting off the stream of prayers and agony. The dead air was once again silent but for the falling rain and the soft scream of death falling from above, falling ever closer. The boy had curled around himself. Still sobbing, he reciting prayers and called out for his mother, for anyone. The man looked away and began to cry.

We’re going to die.

It was calming, in a way. The inevitability of the end brought a sort of clarity to the man, helping to steel him against his fate. Almost laughing, the man thought of his family, knowing that he would soon be with them. The boy sat up, sniffling and still quaking with fear. The man turned to face him, his face set in a grim expression. While he had died with his beloved, the boy had never gotten his chance to live. He never would. In silence, the man checked his weapons, cleaning out the grime that had found its way into the mechanisms, though it mattered little. Down in the muddy foxhole, he made his peace.

The impacts of the drop pods sounded ever louder, beating out a near constant drumroll now. The man thought of their last briefing. He knew that the archenemy was bringing its full weight to bear upon their heads, but he did not realize how heavy that weight was. The screaming of rockets and of men soon drowned out the petty noise of the falling rain, crescendoing into an earsplitting wall of sound. The man grimaced and slotted a new cartridge into his lasgun. He saw the boy do the same. The man laughed. They may take some of the enemy with them. He was going to go see his family, to meet the Emperor.

The impact was so close that it caused part of the dugout to collapse upon itself. The man dug himself out of the dirt and helped the boy do the same. Cautiously, he looked over the side of their hole towards the drop pod that he knew had just landed. The metal of the pod was corroded and rusting. The rain that hit it simply evaporated off the scorched metal hot from reentry. The ramps of the pod burst open and the man ducked behind the comforting soil. The boy had no such caution. The man looked towards the boy’s face and saw that it was white with shock. He peeked over the edge and saw Death. They were nine feet tall, armored like beetles. They clutched massive weapons that no man could have lifted. Outlined by lighting strikes and gunfire, the man recognized their silhouettes. He had seen them before, within the cathedrals, etched upon the walls. By the Emperor! Space marines! The man had never seen one before, but these looked wrong. Evil.

The boy panicked, opening fire with his lasgun. The beams of light that would slice through a man hardly slowed the marines. The boy screamed, continuing to fire wildly. One of the figures in rusting, oozing armor raised an ancient bolter and fired once. The boy’s head and torso disintegrated in the blast. Stunned, the man wiped the remains of his young friend from out of his eyes, looking to the blood on his hands. As he stared, he felt a warmth dripping down his collar. Reaching a hand to his neck, he felt the wound that the shrapnel from the bolt threw out. The man’s blood mixed with the rain.

The man slumped back against the wall of the dugout, staring up at the clouds and the rain and the fall of landing craft in the distance. As his vision began to blacken, the man smiled a little. It was beautiful. The man died next to the boy, slumped in a muddy foxhole chipped into the earth.

The rain continued to fall.




This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/05/30 00:27:45


 
   
Made in us
Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus






Nice blurb/excerpt/story thingy (not sure what to call it), prime! You have some good prose there, not sure how my writing style would compare.
If we want to get the plot going, we would first have to agree on the event that sets everything off. It can be assumed that there are other factors leading in to the particular event: people of Grummar (got the name off of the Grumman company) are generally miserable, due to terrible work conditions, long hours vs. short pay, and of course the taxes. As Blacksails mentioned, these are probably predetermined by the Administratum, and have very little to do with the Governor, who is simply doing his patriotic duty. Who knows, maybe the governor dude is a nice guy.
Anywho, I'm not sure about something like a food riot, since those appear commonplace in the Imperium. It would have to be an event that becomes a clear cut message for the general populace to consider separating from the Imperium.
The first starting thread mentioned an Inquisitor blocking off the sector. My question is, does the Inquisitor do this before or after the civil war? If it's before, then perhaps the blockade causes massive shipments of some good to not be deivered as well. After weeks and months of deprivation, an underground group of revolutionaries rise to the surface, claiming that Grummar must go independent of the Imperium so as to not rely so much on their rules and their shipments, that the citizens themselves could create it and live without ever bowing down to another entity.
Not sure how feasible this could be, but it's a suggestion.

Lord Judicator Valdrakh of the Atun Dynasty (6th Ed: W:3, L:4, D:0)

 H.B.M.C. wrote:
Well GW were mostly responsible for the Berlin Wall, so it's natural for some people to harbour resentment towards them.
 
   
Made in us
Fully-charged Electropriest





Boston!

Yeah, it makes sense for the blockade to cause a shortage of the vital ___, which the population starts rioting over, then aligns with some dubious individuals and groups. The governor wants to help out but can't, so maybe some semi-corrupt or perhaps fanatically loyal underling who orders the over-zealos subjugation of the rioters who get angry, and then start rioting harder, and so are subjugated harder. If you've kept up with the Syrian revolution, that's sorta what I'm thinking.
   
Made in ca
Rough Rider with Boomstick




Guelph Ontario

Hey guys, group hopping for a second, but I have a request to make. Would it be possible for me to reference your planet? Our story involves a Rogue Trader's cruiser trapped in the system, and I was wondering if we could use your planet's uprising as a means of inciting the Rogue Trader to try and flee.

Think of something clever to say. 
   
Made in us
Fully-charged Electropriest





Boston!

I suppose that's fine. As you've probably gathered from reading this thread, we don't really have any details hammered out, and I think we haven't even definitively decided on a name. Don't let that stop you
   
Made in ca
Rough Rider with Boomstick




Guelph Ontario

I can just use a placeholder until you guys come up with something.

Basically, this Rogue Trader was passing through the system when the blockade came down, and he's trying to escape. His cargo mainly consisted of munitions and weaponry, which is why I thought your planet's industrial complex would make for a decent pit stop.

Think of something clever to say. 
   
Made in us
Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus






That could be something of a minor plot point within our story. Perhaps the Rogue Trader then decides to sell his shipment of weapons to the rebels, much to the chagrin of the Governor, and escalates the war on the surface? Of course, it would mean he would have to face risk to himself in the process.
I dunno, just some brainstorming here.

Lord Judicator Valdrakh of the Atun Dynasty (6th Ed: W:3, L:4, D:0)

 H.B.M.C. wrote:
Well GW were mostly responsible for the Berlin Wall, so it's natural for some people to harbour resentment towards them.
 
   
Made in ca
Rough Rider with Boomstick




Guelph Ontario

Dr. Temujin wrote:That could be something of a minor plot point within our story. Perhaps the Rogue Trader then decides to sell his shipment of weapons to the rebels, much to the chagrin of the Governor, and escalates the war on the surface? Of course, it would mean he would have to face risk to himself in the process.
I dunno, just some brainstorming here.


He's a loyalist, and with our project's space station coming under attack by secessionist forces, he's decided to sell weaponry to the loyalist faction.

However, I could see the Governor trying to take his shipments off his hands, only for the Rogue Trader to refuse, since he's trying to make money elsewhere. Nice bit of irony that he ends up selling to the loyalists anyways after he realizes he's stuck in the system.

Think of something clever to say. 
   
Made in us
Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus






I can see that work as well.
Apologies to my group that I haven't been doing much to contribute. I just started work this week, so I have a little time afterwards and on Fridays (for now).

Lord Judicator Valdrakh of the Atun Dynasty (6th Ed: W:3, L:4, D:0)

 H.B.M.C. wrote:
Well GW were mostly responsible for the Berlin Wall, so it's natural for some people to harbour resentment towards them.
 
   
Made in us
Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus






Well, I finally typed out something, though I'm not sure if it's what we're looking for. Personally, I'm not 100% satisfied with it, but decent for a first draft.
This little piece takes place at the start of the plot, in order to set some of the mood from the POV of the rebels and their start. Hope you like it, Blacksails, Prime.

“Attention, workers. Mandatory message. Attention, workers. Mandatory message.”

The announcer, a female yet soulless voice, echoed throughout the immense Manufactorum #523A. It was the end of the graveyard shift and onto the morning one, the first of three to begin the 36 hour day. Sullen and saggy faces looked up to the megaphones placed on the walls and ceilings for this brief interruption. Some held a spark of hope in their eyes, others with a feeling of dread. Many simply looked on with casual indifference.

The droning voice continued. “Due to a shift in Imperial Taxation Law, Code 3, Section 5, Chapter 208.5, there will be an additional 15% decrease to monthly wages. Overtime hours for some individuals are now required. Please see your overseers for additional instructions. These changes will be in effect two days from now. Remember: it is better to die for the Emperor than live for yourself.”

Everyone was given scarce time to even groan in weariness before the overseers began barking orders. Lines were formed for breakfast, for checking in and out. The never-ceasing booms and hissing of massive machinery was the background noise to this Manufactorum, just the same as every other one on the planet of Grummar. Both men and women of all ages could be found taking their shifts within the complex that churned out the necessary weapons of war for the Heartknell system. Holo-screens could be seen stationed at strategic places, constantly displaying the Thought for the Day (“A Small Mind is Easily Filled With Faith”), or propaganda pieces designed to keep the workers at their places. It was simply another day at Manufactorum #523A. And as any other day, none of the workers would notice, let alone care, of a hooded figure weaving his way into a darkened archway.

Down many flights of stairs into the humid depths of the complex the silent person rushed down. Here, the legions of servitors maintained the machinery at conditions unaugmented humans could stand for long periods of time. They paid no attention to this foreigner who clamered down the creaking staircases. Arriving at the final destination, the figure took a turn into another corridor to double doors. A hand emerged from the cloak to handle the rust-caked ring and rap the door. They opened to an abandoned assembly area. It was much smaller than its counterpart higher towards the surface. What mattered now, of course, was who used it, and to what ends.

As it was, there were other people with similar garb as the hooded one, though theirs were made of inferior quality to the fine cloth of the one who had entered. They parted like grass before their leader, allowing access to the staged platform. When all was prepared, the figure spoke, the voice revealing a man behind the cloak.

“My brothers and sisters,” he said, “I am glad to see so many of here gathered for our purpose. And what is that purpose?” He paused for dramatic effect before speaking in a low tone. “…Freedom from the Imperium.
“For many centuries, your fathers, his fathers and their fathers before them, their wives and their children have all labored under the lash of the Emperor and his lackeys. They tell us that it is for the good of all the Imperium. They tell us that many billions of lives depend on what we do here on our planet of Grummar. They tell us many thousands of other planets, like ours, do the same important work. But to what end? Why all this ceaseless toil with nothing to show for it but the graves of our loved ones? For a cause which we will never see fulfilled? No, brothers and sisters, we cannot go on like this for eternity. To do so is sheer insanity!

“And I for one will not allow for the proud people of Grummar to spiral into such insanity. Though our numbers are small for now, they grow day by day. Soon, all of the people will see their duty to wipe away the stain of the bloated Imperium once and for all! Then once they leave, we will remain, and we will truly know the meaning of freedom! Come, my comrades, and let us go to the task at hand! For independence! For justice! FOR THE PEOPLE!”

This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2012/06/11 07:06:50


Lord Judicator Valdrakh of the Atun Dynasty (6th Ed: W:3, L:4, D:0)

 H.B.M.C. wrote:
Well GW were mostly responsible for the Berlin Wall, so it's natural for some people to harbour resentment towards them.
 
   
 
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