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Hi guys this is an extract from my SS I have been working on recently. If you have any questions, tips, criticism, or advice, that would be very welcome.
Hope you'll like it! PS: the characters are not introduced properly because this is somewhere in the middle of the story:

'Last charge is set, sergeant'. Erud's voice crackled with static, but Brocus knew what he was going to say the moment the vox-link opened up. 'Sable swords, break contact! Retreat towards main lines!' he roared. The Tyranids were almost on them, running at breakneck speed without fear for their own lives, desperate to sink their claws in Astartes flesh.
Brocus' four Sterngaurd veterans broke into a sprint, their superhuman leg-muscles supported by the power armor made them able to outrun the horrors behind them. Brocus was right behind his brothers, starting his sprint only a fraction of a second after the last of his marines left the crevice. He had never before ordered his squad to fall back, leave alone to break contact and turn their backs on the enemy. He damned himself for getting them in this situation and would remember to report his failure to the chapter master as soon as he got of this forsaken planet. They had already distanced themselves 100 metres from the crevice now, a few dozen metres behind them the first Tyranids were clawing at their shadows.
Bio-weapon fire flew past the marines in high amount,fortunately all of it without careful aim. Brocus held the detonator in his left hand, with the other he took impressively accurate pot-shots with his bolt pistol, killing some of their pursuers. Brother Urium, in sprint, swung around his customised bolter and blew apart a long limbed creature that was about to leap at his brother. Antalion returned the favour seconds later by effortlessly taking down two vicious predators, that were about to catch up to Urium. Their teamwork and accuracy once again proved why they were the best of the best, Adeptus Astartes at their finest.
They were almost 300 metres from the charges now, and although there was still a considerable risk that they might be hit by the resulting explosion, Brocus knew that the longer he waited the bigger the chance that one of his brothers would be hit by one of those living projectiles, or that too many Tyranids had already left the crevice. The emperor protects, he thought by himself as he pushed the detonator.
As the charges exploded dozens of smaller Tyranids were outright killed by razor sharp rock shrapnel, boring through the alien's chitin with ease and wreaking major internal damage to the softer flesh below. The resulting shockwave threw all but the biggest monstrosities off their feet and hurled them against the opposite rock wall. The weakened wall, began to cave in on itself. Huge slabs of rock broke of and tumbled down towards the main Tyranid force at the centre of the crevice. The few Tyranids that saw the tonnes of rock falling down upon them, could do little more than cry out one last time with horrific screeches only to be crushed seconds later.
Brocus saw all of this happening as he looked back over his shoulder. Although the scale of the explosion was massive and most of the Tyranid horde was annihilated, the mission itself was a Disaster.
Then the shockwave hit them. Brocus was lifted clear of the ground, making him feel more vulnerable than he had ever felt before in his 200 years of service. The shockwave hurled him, a seven feet tall space marine clad in power armor, through the air for dozens of metres.
When he finally hit the ground the lush desert sand they had walked before felt as hard as concrete. Although his power armour did all it could to negate the force of the impact, Brocus still felt as if he just got hit by a land raider. He skidded and tumbled further for a couple of metres only to bump into one of his brothers who had landed there as well. Brocus' chest was sore and he was sure the force of the impact had fractured his stone hard fused rib cage.
He got up, his superhuman metabolism already working on knitting his rib cage back together. He offered brother Urium, the soldier he had hit moments ago, his hand and lifted him from the desert floor.
He looked around, scanning the desert for any Tyranid stragglers that had somehow survived the explosion, but except for the other three brothers under his command, there was no sign of life. As his brothers caught up to him he swiftly checked them for any injuries or malfunctioning gear. All of them seemed to be fine, except for brother Daved who appeared to be limping slightly.
'Minor leg injury' he said before Brocus could ask, 'it is healing as we speak'.
Brocus nodded, his brothers were battle ready and their weapons seemed to be functioning, he focussed his thoughts on the current situation. The general had abandoned them during the planting of the charges and retreated with his forces to the entrenchments. Because he failed to support the Sable Swords only one side of the crevice had been fully planted and the mission had failed.
Any ordinary marine would have been furious at this betrayal, but Brocus was no ordinary marine, he was a Sternguard, the very image of what every space marine aspires to become, the pinnacle of any chapter's fighting force and he would keep his emotions in check.
'Erud, vox the Imperial guard's command bunker, tell them that we are still alive and wish to speak with the general face to face.'
Erud nodded, put his hand to his helmet and changed his vox frequency.
'Sergeant, I am only picking up static from the Bunker'
'Hail them again.' Brocus said.
'I am sergeant, but- Argh!' Erud groaned.
'What is it brother?' Brocus asked.
Erud hesitated for a moment, 'I think you should hear this yourself, sergeant'.
As soon as Brocus changed to the bunker's frequency a terrible and familiar sound filled his helmet.
It was unmistakably the screech of a Tyranid.