Don't Bogart the Bacon!

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**Monster Rain**

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/bizarre/granny-busted-bacon-beef-grandson-980174

JUNE 30--Angered that her grandson ate too much bacon at breakfast, a 63-year-old woman chased the boy out of her Pennsylvania home and pinned him down on the front lawn, where she blasted him in the face with a garden hose, police allege.

Marilee Ann Kolynych was busted Tuesday evening on endangering the welfare of children, simple assault, harassment, and disorderly conduct charges. Her grandson, 9, was not injured during the attack.

In a Clifton Heights Police Department report, Officer James Press noted that the child “stated that he had been getting tortured by his grandmother…all day for an incident that took place during breakfast.” According to Press, the matter involved the child consuming more bacon than anyone else, which angered Kolynych.

A witness told Press that Kolynych chased her grandson around the yard before throwing him to the ground and “sitting on top of him beating him on his legs and spraying water at very close range into [the boy’s] face.” The child told cops that “the nozzle setting was on full blast.”

The child eventually broke free and “ran across the street, using a neighbor’s phone to call his mother, who was in the basement while the incident was taking place out front.” Even after the boy’s mother arrived outside, a witness reported, Kolynych continued to chase after the child.

Kolynych, free on bail, is set for a July 7 preliminary hearing. (2 pages)

Didn't this happen on an episode of the Brady Bunch?

**Frazzled**

My boy can eat two lbs of bacon, no sweat.

**Ouze**

If doing this is wrong, I don't want to be right.

**notprop**

Bacon antics followed by waterboarding, sounds like she used to work at Gitmo.

**Tibbsy**

ate too much bacon

I didn't even think that was possible

**Albatross**

How is this news?

**Frazzled**

It involves bacon.

**SagesStone**

Don't worry, some reporter will drag politics into it and make it news soon enough.

**Squigsquasher**

And blame Obama. Don't forget that bit.

But seriously, what the hell?

**Jihadin**

How fat is the kid?

**Skinless2**

Jihadin wrote:How fat is the kid?

I have to say quite fat as he cannot out-run a 63 year old

**rubiksnoob**

Bacon is GOOD for me!

**warpcrafter**

Skinless2 wrote:
Jihadin wrote:How fat is the kid?

I have to say quite fat as he cannot out-run a 63 year old

Perhaps she should have nipped his bacon addiction in the bud, before it required such severe tactics. Still, I must say I approve, bacon must be shared, there must be bacon for all. So say we all.

**Monster Rain**

notprop wrote:Bacon antics followed by waterboarding, sounds like she used to work at Gitmo.

I just wanted to point out how brilliant this post is.