One really quick thing to make sure you remember, Stormtalon gunships are not "attached" to any of your drop pods with their Escort rule. Only units that come in from reserve off of a table edge, not deep strike, get that perk. I wanted to do a similar thing with my Deathwing, but alas their deepstrike does not allow the stormtalon to come in.
If all you wanted was to have the stormtalons flyng around causing havoc by rolling on the reserves that's fine, just wanted to make a note of the Escort rule they have, as I have seen a few people misinterpret it.
Other than that, I think it could be a cool close range shooty list to play. It also feels very "Raven guard" to me. The problem is that you have NO close combat ability at all. And landing that close to enemies usually means you are going to get assaulted. Maybe drop the sternguard and grab some terminators or something, they too can kill tanks via power/chain fists and as such have a bit of sticking power in melee. They can deep strike too. conversely, maybe take some assault marines or something? If nothing else, I'd suggest power weapons or fists in the tactical squads. If challenged you will probably die anyway, so trying to ignore them altogether might be a good option.
-VardenV2
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