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So ive noticed that ive lost support for my IG short stories on this forum, went from 84 views to 23 i think it was from pt1 to 2. and was wondering if anyone thinks i should bother continueing?? i mean i dont want to be writing stuff no one cares about haha

Do you care about your writing? If yes, then keep it up. If you want to write because you like writing, then that's one thing. if you want to write because people like JK Rowling or Stephanie Meyer made a ton of cash, you might want to rethink your goals.

haha no way is this for money... im osting fan fiction on dakka man, yes i do love writting its a great past time. ive decided to continue because i just keep evolving my story and.keep finding new ways of telling it. i really am not expecting to write a book or anything, i just enjoy writting about Imperial Guardsmen

btw have you read them yet? if so what do you think?

Formatting and pacing. A paragraph should be three to six sentences in length, not twenty. Keep things concise, try to avoid run on sentences, and don't overuse adjectives and adverbs. If you want to draw attention to a certain phrase or scene, a single, good adjective or adverb is enough.

compare

"The railgun shot passed through the tank, plastering the crew across their instruments"

to

The magnetically accelerated railgun shot pierced one side of the Leman Russ Main Battle Tank, plastering the crew's quivering organs across their blinking instruments before passing through the other side of plating.

My first story only has around 35 views to date, although i've now put all five parts into one thread, there's still not too many views...

I'm still going, though, people take time to read and reply. Just because you don't have that many views, it doesn't mean it's going to stay that way...
Keep going, and good luck

The key to getting people to read your stuff is to present a well told, and steadily building story. Also keeping it somewhat well paragrafed helps. And not posting each new update in a new tread.

arcsquad thanks man i get what your sayin, although thats an over exaguration haha i understand thanks. And yeh man my story is building and i do have a plan for it, and also i shall be placing the rest of it in the current thread

Sounds good. Yes, it is an exaggeration, but it is meant to showcase the difference between effective sentence structure and poor structure.

yeh yeh i get it, all G man thanks haha

I don't get lotta views on my stuff either

You would probably get more people posting on a topic to give you advice and feedback if you were more receptive to their comments.
Also tidying up grammar and spelling is a good idea.

haha talking about trondheim? well as far as im concernd he is being a dick about it honestly, i take feedback when people dont insult me or my intellgence. also i use my phone most of the time and mistakes are made, and after a while unless im on my pc i give up with 100% grammer

He gave you feedback which you didn't like and you attacked him for it.

 motyak wrote:

 blood reaper wrote:

 Galactica-actual wrote:
also of all things why is every one having a winge about paragraghing? just read the damn story and at least there are paragraphs because usualy im so imersed writing that i forget about paragraphs

This and the post above are the reasons why yor obviously not going to be good at this.

The moment someone dares to question you, you think of it as a personal attack on you and return by attacking them. If you don't like critisisim, don't post on the Internet.

If you get so immersed writing, then wait a day before you post it up, and use that day to edit it until it is ready for others to read it. You are taking our help (its not really even proper criticism yet, we've hardly touched on the story or the writing style) as if we are attacking you. If thats how you are going to go about it, then giving up is probably best, else your threads will go;
OP with story piece
constructive criticism
your reaction
people questioning your irrational reaction to constructive criticism
more of your reaction
thread lock

This is pretty much what I have to say...
You may complain about criticism that isn't constructive but not criticism that does help. That's just bad practice both as a writer and a person...

i have better things to do with my life then edit a story for a day mate

you also seem to have better things to do than accept criticism from people who are trying to help you

So...
You post a story online but don't care what anyone thinks about it?
Then why post it?

Dude try and accept critism better. But i do enjoy your stories and would like to see more of them.

You don't want criticism, so I would suggest not posting it.

As others have said, being receptive to criticism is always a plus. If people take the time to post in your threads and see you simply blow them off, they're less likely to open it up and see what you've got in the future. I'm a FanFic Moderator on another fairly sizeable site, and what I've noticed is that the people that welcome and actually apply feedback are the writers that attract a reader base and fan base.

You don't even have to listen to them, maybe just a "That's an interesting point, I'll have to try it out with my next section" and you won't come off quite as hostile.

Good luck, mate!

I like the story, just put some more thought and detail into it. They're nice though. If you care about it then you should continue.