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I have recently been working on some fluff for a new army I am in the process of creating/painting and would like to share it with you as it develops in the form of short stories. So below is where I will begin with a brief introduction to them in the form of their origin story. I hope you enjoy it and please feel free to leave feedback.

INTRO

Long ago there was originally a Chapter of marines named The Thunder Stalkers that were commissioned into service by the High Lords of Terra near the end of the 35th millennium. The chapters genetic stock was that of the Primarch of the Imperial Fists Rogal Dorn and bearing this genetic heritage the newly born warriors founded their chapter upon the planet of Helmorn III in the Segmentum Solar region. After almost two thousand years of faithful service to the Emperor and Imperium in the 37th millennium the Thunder Stalkers were one of the more than thirty or so chapters that came to be known by the title 'The Judged' as named so by Saint Basillius of the Ecclesiarchy. This judgement was laid down after a series of warp storms ravaged the ill fated chapters home worlds causing mutation and rampant cultist activity and they were then forced into a redemption crusade that came to be known as The Abyssal Crusade.

The Thunder Stalkers entered the Eye of Terror along with the other dishonored chapters and were scattered deep into the horrific plane of insanity to a daemon planet called Heiramos that to all of the malfunctioning sensors and other forms of scrutiny appeared to be a world of dead cities. The Chapter Master Garoth Krayvor ordered the 3rd, 6th and 7th companies to make planet fall and each scout out a different city to gain more intelligence as to what they were dealing with. So with their orders issued the 3rd, 6th and 7th companies made planet fall in good order and began their slow steady movement through the diffident cities but soon the three companies began to lose vox communications with each other and the waiting fleet in orbit. After the third day of no contact with the companies sent down to scout, the Thunderhawks that had taken the companies down reappeared but did not respond to any hails from the fleet but they did start to returned to their respective ships to dock.

After all of the Thunderhawks and other landing craft that had returned made it back to the safety of the embarkation decks they began to open and as one the marines that had made planetfall only days earlier disgorged onto every vessel in the fleet but not as the stalewart Astartes they had once been but as defiled and rotten corpses. Slowly one by one the ships of the fleet began to fall to the abominations and for some reason that is unknown many of the astartes thought loyal turned on their brothers and joined the army of corpse warriors to claim the ships. After a short time the resistance began to lessen because of the surprise assaults sheer shock value having killed most of the loyalist quickly. So with the fleet taken and the loyalists dead the once Captain of the 3rd company Hargrave Nehilen assumed control of the assembled warriors numbering almost five hundred marines and led them in a ceremony of renaming, defilement, and devotion that honored their new lord and master grandfather Nurgle and he smiled upon them blessing them with all manner of putrid gifts.

The newly re-dubbed Heralds of Blight emerged from the Eye of Terror deep into the 40th Millennium and have been spotted reeking horrible devastation upon many different sectors of the galaxy in the form of plagues, famine, and brutal war. They have only the cause of bringing the destruction of the universe to fruition and do so gladly with the blessings of their great patron.



My next post will be part one of their story beginning with the three companies that made planetfall and lost contact with the fleet and each other and a glimpse at what befell them.
Stay tuned.

I like it alot, but I've been annointed by the blood god. So, I see you are lacking random shouts of praise to him. No worries.

PART 1 - Slow Rot


The vox static hissed like the hot fat sizzling upon some cooks skillet in the ear piece of Captain Hargrave Nehilen of the 3rd company. He had been trying to establish contact with the 6th and 7th companies for the last few hours but to no avail and this was starting to worry him. But that wasn't the only thing that was stating to nag at him because as well as not being able to contact the other companies the fleet in orbit was unreachable now. Was it some sort of electrical interference or just the fact that they were in the whipping insanity of the Eye of Terror? He didn't know for sure but what he was sure of was the fact that this planet they were on was an unsettling place and he wanted to be away from as soon as his mission was complete. The buildings of this mysterious city his company moved through were almost all dilapidated as if some major battle of a great war was fought here recently but if that was so then where were the combatants bodies, discarded weapons and such? Nehilens Landraider came to a halt after he voxed the order to the driver from his position atop the tank in the storm bolter turrent. With the massive bulk of the Landraider stopped the Captain hopped down and came to a crouch with is plasma pistol at the ready but there was nothing there for him to be ready for. He rose and holstered his pistol then walked towards the nearest building which looked as if it had been spared the worst of whatever cataclysmic events happened here.

As The Captain strode towards the large three floored structure he heard the large assault doors on the front of his Landraider begin to open with a whine of servos and the footfalls of his ten honor guard falling out into step behind him. "Captain?" asked the large brute of a Sergeant that came to stand at his side named Jorgrund "What is it? Why have we stopped?". Captain Nehilen glanced over at Jorgrund as if trying to read something on the similarly unhelmeted Sergeants craggy bearded face and said "Do you feel the wrongness of this place Sergeant? its as if this was a recent battlefield but there is no recent signs of battle." Grunting his accented Jorgrund replied "Well we are in the Eye captain so who knows what type of hell this place is or could be.". Jorgrund was correct of course thought the captain as his mind was taken back to the decree that brought them here accusing them of heretical acts and being in league with the ruinous powers. That was absurd of course but the Chapter Master Garoth Krayvor had agreed to this redemptive crusade in order to prove the purity of the Thunder Stalkers and Nehilen despised the decision he had made to throw the chapter to the mercy of the warp. "Order the company to assume defensive positions and send out squads to recon the area I want to know what in the emperors name we are dealing with here." Said Nehilen shaking the dark feelings that had encroached on his thoughts towards Chapter Master Krayvor. The large double doors of the building were now in front of him and he reached out and touched the large brass handle that was affixed
there.

Nehilens mind exploded with thoughts that were not his own as his hand grasped the handle on the door through some type of psychic resonance. He saw glimpses of panicked men, women and children all dying in agony from some type of plague while all around them battle raged. But the battle was no the type of conventional battle for the enemy was deformed and rotten men and women and appeared to be already dead but how could that be? "This is the end of all things" came a disembodied voice "Join us and live forever" it said in a reedy gurgling voice. Nehilen could feel himself falling as his mind snapped back to his own consciousness and felt the hard stone of the ground as his form smashed into it and his vision faded to black but before he faded completely he heard Jorgrund shouting "OPEN FIRE...KILL THEM ALL" and then nothing.

Its okay I suppose, will watch this progress however

I'm gonna nitpick some random sentences from this. This writing isn't bad, but the prose is kind of awkward, so I'm hoping I can try and help you with it.

Bloodfrenzy wrote:The vox static hissed like the hot fat sizzling upon some cooks skillet in the ear piece of Captain Hargrave Nehilen of the 3rd company.

This sentence is too long and awkward. I'd shorten it to something like, "The vox static hissed like sizzling fat in Captain Nehilen's earpiece."

Bloodfrenzy wrote:The buildings of this mysterious city his company moved through were almost all dilapidated as if some major battle of a great war was fought here recently but if that was so then where were the combatants bodies, discarded weapons and such?

This sentence is also too long and awkward. I'd cut it up like this; "Nehilen led his company through the ruins of a great city. Rust clung to every steel surface, and rank brown vines wormed their way up walls of crumbling masonry. Blackened craters in the sides of buildings and bullet holes punched through walls were an all too common sight. Entire buildings had been reduced to mountains of charcoal grey rubble. It was obvious that there had been a battle, and a great one too. Despite this, there weren't any bodies, discarded weapons, or even spent bolter shells. There weren't even footprints."

Bloodfrenzy wrote:He rose and holstered his pistol then walked towards the nearest building which looked as if it had been spared the worst of whatever cataclysmic events happened here.

"He rose from his crouching position, holstering his pistol. Amid the wreckage of the city, one building stood out. It was mostly intact, having been spared the worst of whatever happened in this throne-forsaken place."

I would suggest going back through your work and reading the whole thing out loud.

This is quite good I have always loved fanfic but as a stalwart believer of a the imperial faith that i never can truly appreciate. But this is truly impressive i could nit-pick but i wont its good grammar here and their sentence structure but ill be watching.