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Its all in all a good list, but i would go another way with it. Drop croe's cutthroats completely. drop a heavy jack, drop the min halberdiers. add a talon, stannis, and either steelhead cav, or steel head rifles and kell bailoch. if you do it this way, you get a static gunline (longgunners) and a mobile gunline with charger blockers (steelheads) or a crazy mobile heavy cav (steelhead) magnus needs focus efficiency, so a light jack like the talon that only needs to hit and not damage to take a warjack down a peg (disruption) can be really useful. another combo for jacks to consider is drop the mangler, and take a freebooter, and partner it with a buccaneer. activate buccaneer, knock down your target, send in even a partially loaded mariner, get your chain attack off (with the extra dice on every hit from trash), and watch your opponent cry deep, bitter tears. note that any of these variations fits pmagnus tier 4 and causes grown men to tremble.
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