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HEADQUARTERS:

Emperor's Champion, AACNMTO 140
Marshal, TH/SS, TDA, adamantine mantle 185

ELITES:

5 Terminators, 2 CML, tank hunters 265
ADL, quad-gun 100
5 Assault Terminators, TH/SS, furious charge 215

TROOPS:

10 initiates, 10 neophytes, PF, meltagun, frags 305
5 initiates, plasma cannon 100

HEAVY SUPPORT:

Mortis-Pattern Contemptor Dreadnought, Kheres Assault Cannon, CML 215

SPACE MARINE ALLIES:

HEADQUARTERS:

Captain, storm bolter, ligtning claw, artificer armor 133

TROOPS:

Tactical squad (5 dudes), PW, meltabombs, razorback TLLC 185

FAST-ATTACK:

Stormtalon, CML 155

TOTAL: 1998

What do you guys think? Can it hold its own in a competitive environment?

For 2000 pts, there are far to few troops.

Good point, I'll have to protect them carefully. I do have the equivalent of 20 regular space marines and 10 "scouts".

AACNMTO isn't what it used to be in 5th. I find saving a few points and plumping for Abhor the Witch is not only freeing you up a few points to spend elsewhere, but always comes in handy with the amount of psychic abilities flying around in 6th. It's saved my backside on numerous occasions against Librarians and Farseers.

I wouldn't worry too much about the amount of scoring units you have on the board if you're planning an all-out annihilation of the enemy, regardless of mission criteria. An annihilation won't be an easy task against a fast moving force like Dark Eldar or a swarm of 'Nids though. You'd likely be forced into trying to fulfill the mission objective of capturing objectives and it'll be a struggle for you with only 3 scoring units as you'll be stretched thin.

I'd always recommend at least 4 units of scoring models at 2k points, more if possible.

If you will be going with more scoring units, I would beef up a Templar squad. That way ACC would be more beneficial. OtherwiseI would park your BT Plaz squad behing the Ageis, and that lazorback as well for that cover save.
Also, there is no good way for your termies to get across the table. Your CYCML can start on the table and fire on the go... but your assault termies will have to either DS, or run.

I would almost get rid of the allies and buy more troops,and a LRC for your assault squad. Then maybe typhoons for more long range support if you have the points.

I'd agree; drop the allies and focus on troops. Get rid of the regular terminators (I assume Marshal is with Assault Termies) and split your squads into about 4 of 10 with 5 or so scouts to soak up fire power. Half can be assault to benefit AAC while the other half can be fire support. Typhoons seem to be our saving grace with shooting, and a chaplain to keep a squad from falling back wouldn't hurt as well.