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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/19 17:23:05
Subject: Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Bane Lord Tartar Sauce
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With my DA codex in the mail and a bunch of unpainted DV figures lying about, I've decided to start working on my DA successor chapter. Any input on what I created thus far would be greatly appreciated.
Chapter Name: The Storm Angels
Progenitor Chapter: Dark Angels
Chapter Icon: Winged Sword (Same as DA)
Chapter Specialization: Deathwing and Ravenwing formations, capturing ancient relics and stashes of technology.
Chapter Founding: Mid 37th Millennium (moderately young chapter)
Chapter Homeworld: Aentos, currently at a colonial level of technology.
Chapter Colours: Main is bone, secondary is light/ice blue.
Fortress Monastery: The Stormwind Citadel (built over the ruins of a fallen cruiser).
Chapter History: Although the Storm Angels chapter was founded in the middle of the 37ths millennium, the history of the chapter extends back roughly a century prior. While fleeing a Dark Angels fleet, a small ship lead by the fallen angel Arthur Thorn was forced to make a blind warp jump. As a result he jumped to a small system with no Imperial presence, where he discovered the planet of Aentos. Aentos was an Imperial planet which had long been forgotten since before the Heresy due to its low strategic value, its lack of significant mineral reserves, and the fact that it's people had regressed to a technological and societal level similar to the first nations people of North America. So in effect, when it was discovered during the crusades, a small team was dispatched to the planet for long enough to determine that the planet was in fact worthless and to spread the word of the Emperor before departing. Prior to Thorn's arrival, the people of Aentos were scattered across the forests of the main continent, and while there were occasional conflicts between tribes, they had never known large scale warfare. As a result, Thorn and the 7 surviving fallen under his command were able rather quickly seize control of the planet and begin to convert it into a place where they could rebuild their strength.
Roughly 15 terran years later, a Deathwing cruiser which was examining suspected locations that Thorn could have fled to entered orbit around Aentos. While some may have just hoped to hide from the Deathwing, Thorn decided to be more 'proactive' and fired upon the cruiser with the anti-ship weapons he had transplanted from his cruiser to the mountains near where he had docked, forcing the Deathwing to land across the continent. There the Deathwing saw the subjugation that Thorn had inflicted on the native peoples, and decided to use it to their advantage, raising an army to fight the slaves from other worlds that Thorn was using to protect himself. After a long and bloody campaign which eventually lead to an assault on Thorn's cruiser, the Shadow of Hatred, the Deathwing were finally victorious, capturing Thorn and one other fallen (with the rest as casualties) moments after a Dark Angels fleet arrived in orbit around Aentos. After securing any potentially dangerous artifacts and ensuring that any of Thron's slaves who were corrupted or knew too much were silenced, the Dark Angels left Aentos.
Some time later, it came to Naberius, the current Supreme Grand Master of the Dark Angels, that the Lords of Terra had ordered the creation of a chapter using Dark Angels geneseed in the region of space near Aentos in response to the increased Traitor and Xenos presence over the centuries. Using his influence and inspired by the valor shown by the people of Aentos, he arranged for the chapter to be based on the planet. To this day, the chapter has served strongly as one of the unforgiven, wearing bone, in honor of the Deathwing who freed their people, and blue, in honor of the heroes of their own people who fought through the storm to save them.
However, recently, the chapter has uncovered startling information about the Dark Angel's history. During a training exercise, a scout squad discovered a large cache which Thorn had transplanted from his ship prior to his capture. Upon investigation by members of the Inner Circle, lead by the current chapter master, Gabriel Torr, discovered that according to both Thorn's personal writings that he believed that the fallen were the true loyalists and that it was the Lion who had fallen. This was supported by automated datalogs from the Shadow of Hatred, showing that the Dark Angels fleet opened fire on Caliban with little warning and no provocation. After bringing this information to the attention of Azrael, it was decided that this information would be kept of the utmost secret, at least until it's validity could be determined.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/19 18:02:02
Subject: Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Mighty Vampire Count
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I like the reference to the original source material of the native american warriors etc.
However wouldn't Torr be part of the DA Inner Circle and so be aware of the "truth" of the matter? (*)
(*) I don;t have the new codex only the old ones
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I AM A MARINE PLAYER
"Unimaginably ancient xenos artefact somewhere on the planet, hive fleet poised above our heads, hidden 'stealer broods making an early start....and now a bloody Chaos cult crawling out of the woodwork just in case we were bored. Welcome to my world, Ciaphas."
Inquisitor Amberley Vail, Ordo Xenos
"I will admit that some Primachs like Russ or Horus could have a chance against an unarmed 12 year old novice but, a full Battle Sister??!! One to one? In close combat? Perhaps three Primarchs fighting together... but just one Primarch?" da001
www.dakkadakka.com/dakkaforum/posts/list/528517.page
A Bloody Road - my Warhammer Fantasy Fiction |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/19 18:58:23
Subject: Re:Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Faithful Squig Companion
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Have got any pictures of the new color scheme in place. Would love to see that. Pls keep us updated on your work.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/19 19:37:10
Subject: Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Quick-fingered Warlord Moderatus
Norway
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Change it to Recruitment-World as any Dark Angel-successor is to be inside the Rock, which is basically a Pluto-sized asteroid so can house the chapter, the Recruitment Planet is okay.
The rest of the fluff is dull but sensible since you overstated it. Sorry I don't have anything better to say, but that's me commenting on Space Marines.
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If you have nothing nice to say then say frakking nothing. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/19 19:55:20
Subject: Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Yeoman Warden with a Longbow
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I like it, I'm currently working on my chapter history: the IceWing. Not a DA chapter but white scar. One thing is that it is kinda like alot of other DA sucessor chapters, I think you need to spice it up a bit. That being said my chapter is a bit unorthodoxed lol
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/20 06:08:08
Subject: Re:Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Bane Lord Tartar Sauce
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I was kinda keeping things brief which is why it seems dull. If I were to work to expand this (which I might, depending on how much time I have) I'd plan really exploring a few things:
1. The similarities between the Unforgiven and the Fallen. I'd really like to paint up that both play are essentially using the native populous to their own ends without thinking of them as anything more as a tool (I wish I had included this earlier, but Thorn and his fallen had their own servants in their ship when they arrived. They basically pressed youths into their service to maintain their numbers, and had 'oversight' of the population to ensure that the population was neither over-taxed nor openly resisting. Additionally, the Deathwing convinced the tribesmen to pull a large scale suicide attack against better equipped forces so they could capture the fallen and then leave. They basically sent men armed with bows and hatchets and wearing armor that would make a Guardsman laugh (if they were wearing armor at all) against the servants of the fallen, who at least had some lasguns and flak/carapace armor. As an additional note, in my opinion the only reason the population saw the Fallen as the villain is because they started using them as a tool first, had the Imperium actually had an interest in the planet they may well have saw the fallen as their saviors rather than the Deathwing.
2. I'd really like to explore the idea that even the Inner Circle has a fairly poor understanding of the man who was Lion El'Jonson. As the survivors of Lion's Dark Angels did not turn to chaos after the destruction of Caliban, it is assumed that even if he was in fact under the sway of Chaos (or arguably not even under the say of Chaos, but not loyal to the Emperor), he did not bring the rest of the Dark Angels with him. Lion was also noted for being secretive and paranoid, particularly later in his life, is it is not unrealistic to assume that even his closest advisers only knew as much about their Primarch as he wanted them too. I basically want this revelation to be a complete shock to the Storm Angels Inner Circle and, while not as much of a shock, disconcerting to Azrael. Sort of think of it as a crisis of faith thing, basically finding out that the individual they hold in near equal esteem to their God may in fact be one of the greatest traitors in the history of humanity. Or was it perhaps just Lion's paranoia which got the best of him, and by turning on a threat that didn't exist, did he force the fall of a significant portion of his legion?
3. Along the lines of 1, I want to portray the Deathwing in less of a 'glorious combat for the emperor' way but more in a 'get gak done' way. To me, the final fight against Throne plays out like this: The Deathwing send the natives to attack the slaves, drawing them out and creating a distraction. The Deathwing then teleport into Thorne's ship, and very brutally and quickly make their way to Thorne before beating him until he is crippled and killing most of the other fallen. The best parallel I can think of is the difference between the old and the new James Bond movies. In (I think) Die Another Day there are elaborate and high tech fight scenes with lasers swirling around the two combatants, that is how I think of the normal depiction of a Space Marine fight. In Casino Royale, when Lecheffre is killed, Mr. White doesn't waste time on anything fancy, he just storms in and shoots (ok, he pauses for a one liner, but that's it). My portrayal of Space Marines (particularly the deathwing) would be similar to the second approach. The Deathwing don't get into an elaborate duel with the Fallen. They warp in unexpected and just start brutalizing the Fallen.
4. I want to explore the idea of the fallen (or perhaps most of the fallen) are not 'chaos'. To improve the plausibility of the Fallen, I would have then not be tainted by chaos. If it was actually the Lion who was traitor, then Luther's DA would not turn to Chaos until sometime after the destruction of Caliban, because the warp event which occurred after the Luther/Lion duel caused the fallen to be cast through time and space, it would not be unreasonable for non-chaos fallen to still be alive 700 years after the Heresy, they were simply sent forward in time by several hundred years during the warp event. The fallen would probably very quickly figure out what the remaining DA would do to them, even without the taint of chaos, and would doubt that they would believe the truth about Luther, so they would likely run until they could figure out a way to prove their innocence. Some would ironically fall to chaos themselves during this flight, as many cornered individuals do, while others could remain pure. I'm not sure how I could tie this in other than mentioning that they were free of mutation and still wore the mark of the Emperor or something, but it is an idea I'd like to explore.
So basically, my fluff idea is less of a traditional space marine story but upping the grey in what is already a very black and grey setting. Instead of Space Marines being glorious warrior monks with unshakable faith, they are brutal and efficient, and forced to confront the possibility that their entire purpose in life is based upon a lie. I know that is a lot and probably not the clearest thing written in this forum (it is 1 am after all), but I hope that it gives you a sort of idea as to where I am going with this.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/20 06:15:03
Subject: Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Bane Lord Tartar Sauce
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Beaviz81 wrote:Change it to Recruitment-World as any Dark Angel-successor is to be inside the Rock, which is basically a Pluto-sized asteroid so can house the chapter, the Recruitment Planet is okay.
As far as I can tell (I'm still waiting on the new codex, mind you) I can't find anything that says that all Dark Angels successors are based on the Rock. I know that they bring the fallen back to the Rock, but as far as I can tell each still has their own home world or fleet based fortress monestary (with the possible exception of the Disciples of Caliban). Going off what is in Lexicanum, at least one chapter, the Guardians of the Covenant have a homeworld (Mortikah VII), so it is not unreasonable to assume that others do as well, particularly considering that it is unlikely that the Inquisition would be 'happy' with that many chapters gathering under one roof (particularly since many suspect that the Dark Angels are somewhere between 'hiding something' and 'up to something').
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/20 06:16:24
Subject: Re:Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Bane Lord Tartar Sauce
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Orkitron5000 wrote:Have got any pictures of the new color scheme in place. Would love to see that. Pls keep us updated on your work.
I haven't started painting yet because I really want to make them look 'right', and am still having a hard time nailing down which paints I need to buy. I may end up posting a thread in general tomorrow to try to find advice.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/22 14:33:30
Subject: Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Lone Wolf Sentinel Pilot
where am I? *looks around* Well i'm...errr...I...I...don't know!
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Beaviz81 wrote:Change it to Recruitment-World as any Dark Angel-successor is to be inside the Rock, which is basically a Pluto-sized asteroid so can house the chapter, the Recruitment Planet is okay.
They don't all stay in the Rock. it's only the DA themselves that stay there. Successor chapters are distinct from their parent chapters in that regard. it would be like saying all the successors of the Ultramarines are based on Ultramar. You'd end up with one very very crowded planet.
The fluff here is particularly solid in the small detail that the High Lords request the successor chapter to be formed for this region.
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MAY YER BOLTER NAE FALTER!!!! |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/23 02:01:39
Subject: Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Bane Lord Tartar Sauce
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Imperial Monkey wrote: Beaviz81 wrote:Change it to Recruitment-World as any Dark Angel-successor is to be inside the Rock, which is basically a Pluto-sized asteroid so can house the chapter, the Recruitment Planet is okay.
They don't all stay in the Rock. it's only the DA themselves that stay there. Successor chapters are distinct from their parent chapters in that regard. it would be like saying all the successors of the Ultramarines are based on Ultramar. You'd end up with one very very crowded planet.
The fluff here is particularly solid in the small detail that the High Lords request the successor chapter to be formed for this region.
And the rock isn't even a planet, is a space station more or less. But thanks, solid was pretty much what I was looking for. I'm hoping to be able to get out to a nearby store to pick up the paints I need tomorrow to get started, even though I might not produce any work until Saturday due to midterms. I might also try my hand at writing a wee bit about the chapter, assuming I can find the time. I'm also debating bringing in an element from a previous DA successor concept that I developed about the time of DV's release (and subsequently abandoned) where the chapter specializes in raiding enemy planets and strongholds to either reclaim or destroy relics and records long since abandoned and forgotten to prevent them from falling into their enemies, or worse, the Imperium's hands. It was initially my concept of explaining how a younger chapter could have so many suits of terminator armor and other pieces of hard to acquire equipment (such as a jetbike for a counts-as Sammael). However, I'm not sure how well it meshes with the current direction I want to take The Storm Angels (or Angels of the Storm, not sure which sounds better), or even if it was a good concept in the first place.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/01/23 02:07:43
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/24 03:54:22
Subject: Re:Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Bane Lord Tartar Sauce
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Just in case anybody is still finishing this, I'm working on a framework for a novella based on my proposed chapter, I'm thinking of having explore multiple perspectives discussing events related to the chapter and the unforgiven. As rough storylines, I'm thinking something like this:
An elder from a Tribe on Aentos telling the story of his great grandfather, who was a native leader during the conflict between the Deathwing and Thorne
A Deathwing sergeant who fought at on Aentos as a young member of the inner circle retelling the story to a member of the Storm Angel's Deathwing seconded to the Dark Angels.
Gabriel Torr reading through Thorn's datalogs after they were discovered on Aentos
Gabriel Torr discussing the findings with the other members of the inner circle, debating the validity and the implications of the information discovered.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/24 04:14:47
Subject: Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Thunderhawk Pilot Dropping From Orbit
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The first three sound a good way to add depth to the story if you did them at the same time.
I'd like to hear it anyway as I have a soft spot for the DA since Decent of Angels was the first HH book I read.
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Come into my web, said the spider to the fly.
Come rest your wings, and let us talk eye to eye.
For I am a spider, and you are the fly. Now that you are here, let us sit, and say hi.
But I have have no morsel to share, nor anything to eat. But wait, what is that stickiness upon your feet.
Ah now I have you, now I can eat. Now I can enjoy you, or store you as meat.
For I am the spider, and you are the fly. How else could it have gone, between one such as you, and one such as I.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/24 05:49:14
Subject: Re:Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Bane Lord Tartar Sauce
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Yeah, basically I'm going to go about this in a somewhat fragmented storyline, with events progressing chronologically, providing insights into all three parties perception of events (The natives viewing the Deathwing as their saviours and heroes, the deathwing viewing the natives as a means to an end, and the Fallen acting in a similar way, trying to use their slaves (whom I'm thinking of having at least the upper echelon be loyal to them) to escape. The bits with Torr discussing the events with the Inner Circle is both an excuse to play around with some more marine personalities as well as to play around with the "how much do the Unforgiven really know about their Primarch" angle. I'll hopefully be able to start by the weekend.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/01/24 06:05:42
Subject: Dark Angels Successor Chapter - Feedback requested
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Thunderhawk Pilot Dropping From Orbit
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 If you think a four way story is fragmented have a read of mine, I've lost count how many character fragmented views I've put in. And I just added three more in the last chapter to.
I'l look forward to having a read of it on dakka since I like the whole hunting down the fallen thing.
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Come into my web, said the spider to the fly.
Come rest your wings, and let us talk eye to eye.
For I am a spider, and you are the fly. Now that you are here, let us sit, and say hi.
But I have have no morsel to share, nor anything to eat. But wait, what is that stickiness upon your feet.
Ah now I have you, now I can eat. Now I can enjoy you, or store you as meat.
For I am the spider, and you are the fly. How else could it have gone, between one such as you, and one such as I.
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