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I heard 6th edition made everything more cinematic so I made a chart to figure out exactly how cinematic each and every roll is! Before every chart you must roll on, whether it be Warlord traits, Warpstorm, or terrain, this will make your games more cinematic than the greatest movie! And make each game take 6 years longer...

D6 roll of -

-1 - The roll will not be cinematic at all. Just pick up the dice and let them roll un-cinematically out of your hand.

-2 - The roll will be barely cinematic. After you roll on this table, but before you roll on the table you rolled on this table to roll on, you must shake the dice you are about to roll with vigor before rolling.

-3 - The roll will be cinematic! You must roll with the gusto of a couple wildebeest!

-4 - The roll will be quite cinematic! You must pick up your Warlord and give him a pep talk, otherwise, your opponent might win.

-5 - The roll will be incredibly cinematic! Few who roll a roll with this roll are capable of understanding such grand cinematic feats. Attempt a backflip while rolling the roll you rolled on this table to roll for. If you cannot do a backflip, give your troops a Magnificent and pretentious speech before you roll on the next table.

-6 - The dice gods have surely blessed your next roll, for it will be cinematic like nothing before! Find yourself a slingshot, your dice, the manager of your local GW or FLGS (or a friend if in a basement) and sling the dice at the manager/friend. The ensuing scene will surely be etched forever in the memories of all!

Roll #3 is overpowered.

No... it's cinematic

You write for GW, don't you?

I expect to see this in 7th Ed.

Nah I agree, #3 is overpowered, wildebeast-gusto way outclasses maybe even the gods right there.

I think the warlord pep and army pep should be switched around.

I think if one rolls snake-eyes then it should be:
Well, you are probably just another imperial guardsman in the meat grinder, get used to it. If this was for leader ship, well do not worry your commissar made you do it anyways.

I'll change #3 to something less gusto-y

Rule #3 - Rule number 3 is always over powered. That is the rule.

^^ THAT.