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One for the fluff scholars out there...

-----

Sergeant S'thu cut down another rampaging World Eater marine with his master-crafted boltgun and advanced towards the leader of the vicious warband. The towering, mutated berserker roared a challenge as the stalwart Astartes strode towards him, bolt rounds pinging off the suit of artificer-grade armour his Chapter had awarded him for his valour on countless occasions.

The World Eater commander brandished his chain-axe and charged. Sergeant S'thu sprinted towards the monster and somersaulted over his head, the move a result of hours of practice in his Chapter's dojos, where they carried on the ninja arts of Old Terra that had been passed down since before the Imperium. He landed behind the enemy, who was standing looking around in confusion, and drew his power sword.

“Turn and face me!” Though he was eager to defeat the foe, he was so honourable that he would never strike an unprepared enemy.

The World Eater turned. “So, you challenge me! But I have a trick up my sleeve! Ha, ha, haaa!” He extended his arm and a bolt of lightning shot out towards S'thu. He was a psyker! Such things were near-unheard of among their ranks, but it was obvious that they were so desperate to defeat S'thu and his comrades that they had resorted to using the psychic powers they normally scorned.

S'thu had time to concentrate as the lightning arced towards him. Girding himself, he concentrated extra hard. Though the lightning scorched and melted his chestplate he was unharmed.

“What? Impossible!” cried the Dark Librarian, for that was the special title the World Eaters had invented for him.

“Yes, I can easily resist your sorcery! And now you see why!” S'thu disengaged the seals on his intimidating helm and lifted it off. The Dark Librarian had been watching while this happened, sensing that he was facing a warrior whose every movement demanded the utmost respect, and now he did a double-take in shock. He just had time to say one last thing before S'thu charged in and cut him in half with a masterful two-handed blow.

“But...but...you're a tau!”

-----

Captain S'thu stood over the defeated enemy. At the sight of their leader's downfall the other Chaos Marines fled in terror, only to be cut down by a hail of boltgun fire.

“Thank you! Thank you,” cried the Imperial Guardsmen emerging from their trenches. They had thought themselves doomed when the traitors had reached their lines, but the arrival of S'thu and his brothers from the Chapter known as The Emperor's Heirs had saved them. Their drop pods had landed among the enemy, spitting fire from their twin-linked assault cannons and conversion beamers. They used such advanced wargear because their techmarines, rather than treating technology with superstition like the rest of the Imperium, had developed an extremely rigorous and rational approach to research and testing that meant they had learned to produce in large numbers the most advanced technology available to the Astartes.

“Bah! These Guardsmen are nothing but weak humans! It is a waste of our time to defend such mewling weaklings,” said Captain Grim as he strode up.

“No, Captain,” said S'thu. “They were just unlucky. It is not their fault that the Imperium regards its own people with such indifference that it issues them with such puny weapons and armour.”

“You've got a point,” said a Guardsman, who saluted as he approached the Marines. “Why, I'm sure if only I could get my hands on some power armour and a bolter I could really wreak some havoc!”

“I like your attitude, soldier!” S'thu said. “You see our Apothecary over there? If you go and see him and tell him Sergeant S'thu sent you, he'll arrange an appointment for you to have a medical test to see if you're suitable to be made into a Space Marine. Who knows, this time next week you could be in one of my squads!”

The officer thanked him profusely and went off to speak to the Apothecary. Within a short time the white-armoured Marine was surrounded by Guardsmen eager to sign up for the gruelling surgical gauntlet that would turn them into post-human supersoldiers.

“You know only a few of you will make the grade,” S'thu heard the Apothecary saying.

“Yes,” replied the sergeant, “but if we can be like Sergeant S'thu, it's worth a try!” This resulted in an eruption of cheers from the other Guardsmen.

“You see,” said S'thu to Grim, “they are eager to serve the Imperium, it's just that they're not able to because the Munitorum is so incompetent.”

“I hadn't thought of it like that. You've really changed my opinion, just as you changed my opinion about xenos.”

“What was that, Captain?”

“Sorry,” laughed Grim. “I meant 'non-humans!'” He walked off, chuckling to himself about how ignorant he had been.

-----

Later that day, the Marines returned to their ship in orbit. It was a colossal Necron dreadnought. S'thu remembered the battle where they had captured it. First of all, they had confused the robotic warriors by transmitting a very hard mathematical problem into their central computer and then they had struck with an attack that was so carefully planned they had taken no casualties.

S'thu heard footsteps coming from behind as he practiced his ninjitsu in the dojo. It was unusual for anyone to be able to sneak up on him, and he pivoted, his finely-honed hunter's instincts kicking in.

It was the old Librarian, Wyse. “You saved the day again, Sergeant S'thu,” he said, leaning on his cane.

S'thu laughed. “How many times do I need to remind you, my friend? My first name is Mah'ti, you can call me that if you like.”

“No, you deserve to be called by your rank. And I am sure one day I will be calling you Captain S'thu!”

S'thu looked wistful. “No, I'm sure that day will never come, for I feel the Chapter Master still holds his prejudices against anyone who is not human.”

“It's not that,” said Wyse. “He told me the other day you're a fine warrior. That's why he let you join in the first place. In fact he admires the tau and has tried to incorporate the Greater Good into the Chapter's philosophy, because it's so much better than anything the Imperium has come up with. No, the reason he won't promote you is because he's afraid you'll make him look bad in front of the men.”

“Well” replied S'thu, “I wouldn't mean for that to happen, but I don't hold back when it comes to defending humanity, or the tau. I guess it could just happen naturally.”

“Exactly,” said Wyse. “Anyway, enough about that. Do you think this was the work of the Warpmaster?”

“I fear it is so,” sighed S'thu.

“”Whatever caused him to turn his back on such a good way of life?”

“Nobody knows. The records of his life before he started calling himself the Warpmaster were destroyed. All we know is that he was once an Ethereal, and he is the only tau to have turned to Chaos.”

Well played, sir.

The worst part is, I might write more at some point.

This is a heretical abomination.

But I can suspend disbelief because of its originality, even if it is every 40k fluff taboo being glued into one writhing mass of suffering.

Plus it's written well enough that I'm intrigued as to the outcome.

The idea of a "better Imperium" is quite good, if one embraces the idea rather than immediately thinking that it's unacceptable under normal 40k standards.

A few days after this, the Heirs were travelling the warp, looking for evil to conquer. However, it seemed all the enemy forces in the sector had fled upon hearing of their most recent crushing victory. One morning, however, they entered a deserted system to find a colossal Retribution-class battleship orbiting the fourth planet.

The vox systems on the bridge of the Space Marine ship crackled into life and an imposing face filled the comm screen. It was that of a man, half his face replaced by a gold-plated bionic mask.

“Greetings, Astartes. I am Inquisitor Treytaur. I have been searching for you, but I just stopped off in this system to perform Exterminatus on a world that was rumoured to have been harbouring a small genestealer cult. You know what us Inquisitors are like with the Exterminaus button. In fact, if I go more than week without dooming a planet to white-hot oblivion, I feel I'm not earning my salary. Anyway, where was I?”

S'thu stepped up to the screen. “You were searching for us, you say. However, with our specially designed long range auspex we had actually detected your ship before we left the warp. So let's get straight to it, Inquisitor.”

“Well, I have it on good authority that an Ork invasion force has made planetfall in the Effluvius sector. If you could head over there and take them out, it'd be a big help.”

“Well, we would, but I have decided our primary mission should be to locate the traitor known as the Warpmaster. That's much more important.”

“Ah, the Warpmaster. I have reason to think he was the one who hired the orks in the first place, er, yes, that's it.”

“Who told you this?” asked S'thu.

“Oh, er, I really can't remember, see you later,” said the Inquisitor, his natural eye looking from side to side and avoiding S'thu's gaze. His ship then jumped to warp and exited the system before they could ask any more questions.

“Hmm,” said S'thu. “I don't know why, but I have a feeling something might not have been entirely right there. Oh well, it's probably nothing.”

----------

Treytaur's ship screamed through the warp. In the ship's on-board restaurant, the Inquisitor sat with his head in his hands.

“Why do you do this?” he sobbed.

A tall, robed figure stood over him, flanked by two Necron Immortal bodyguards, and laughed cruelly.

“You know why, Inquisitor. It is because that was the flagship of the wretched Emperor's Heirs, and among their ranks is the only man I know can defeat me. However, I am sure that by sending them to deal with those orks I misdirected to Effluvius, they will be wiped out.”

“Why did you turn your back on your old ways like this?”

“You know,” said the Warpmaster, “I've thought about it, and I think it might just be because I despise all non-tau. For you, it must be like looking into a mirror! Mwahahahaha!”

"Nooo," cried Treytaur as the Warpmaster emitted a blast of pheromones, bringing the Inquisitor back under his control.

----------

In the Effluvius system, on a nameless jungle world, Warboss Squiglobba sat down on an ammo crate outside his grounded rokk, the smouldering canyon that its landing had gouged stretching off through the dense jungle.

“Zog,” he said, “ Dat was a scary landin'. I dunno about you, but I locked meself in me kabin an' 'id under me bed.”

His companion, a Mekboy named Skarwazza, adjusted his propeller hat. “I know, Boss,” he said. “It'd be a cryin' shame to lose you so soon afta we voted for you to lead da ladz. We re-counted da votin' papers three times, din't we?" He looked at the wrecked ship. "I told you we shouldn't have trusted dat funny-lookin' tau fella.”

“Quiet, now. Just 'cos 'e popped out of a big swirly vortex thing and straight away told us to find what we're lookin' for you straight away fink 'e's one of dem Chaos zoggers.”

“Well, I can't 'elp it. Definite quantum singularity right there, if I's any judge. Fair burned out da plasma manifold coolant array and knocked out me new cold fusion generators, after I spent so long drawin' up da blooprints.”

“I know, but don't be worryin'.Once we's found what we's after, we'll 'ave all da fancy know-wots we'll ever need.”

“Do you really think it's 'ere, Boss? After we searched for so long?”

“Wot, da Lost City of da Brainboyz? Course it is. Wunce we find that and its techy gubbins we can forget about dese lives of senseless war and pillagin' and unite our scattered peoples unda da benevolent rule of me lifelong ambition, Da Ork Federashun.”

“I 'ope so, Boss. I got bored of krumpin years ago. I always knew we weren't like dose uvva Orky lads 'oo only follow da paff o' mindless violence. I often wish I'd just gone off to some nice world to raise squigs instead.”

“You an' me both...”

The sound of footsteps drew near. It was Eadbasha, the leader of the gretchin berserkers. He hefted his force axe.

“Boss,” his high voice piped, “me and me mates 'ave just detected Space Marines movin' through da woods. But don't worry, we's eager to get krumpin' some 'eads if dey try to come and impose der cultural imperialism on us.”

“So you reckon dey're definitely comin' 'ere, den?” asked Squiglobba.

“I'd bet me degree on it, boss.”

The Warboss clapped a hand that could accommodate a human head over his eyes. “Oh, what a terrible bit o' luck! If only dey would try to talk to us, but I reckon I'll 'ave to take up arms to defend me people once more.”

----------

Sergeant S'thu and his tactical squad soared through the trees on their jetbikes, each one ready to unleash the power of his sleek machine's Punisher Gatling cannon on any foe who may appear. As they broke into the landing site they saw orks crouched behind cover, taking careful aim down the scopes of their shootas.

The orks fired in a withering volley, knocking one of S'thu's comrades off of his bike, which arced over the heads of the orks and exploded against the hull of their grounded rokk. As S'thu singled out the Warboss and prepared to fire, a fast-moving shape suddenly leapt into him and knocked him to the ground.

The enemy that faced him was a gretchin warrior in shiny scrap armour. He spun a force axe in a humming circle, the edge crackling with the diminutive warrior's barely-contained psionic power. Around him, he was aware of other gretchin challenging his comrades.

The two warriors darted in and tried to break each other's guard, their weapons meeting in a flurry of blows and counter-strikes. The gretchin was clearly a hardened veteran of numerous single combats, and S'thu almost found himself equally matched. He sprang back as the berserker launched into a storm of axe-blows that threatened to cut him in half. Landing nimbly and performing a backward combat roll, he activated the markerlight built into his helm and tagged the gretchin.

Above the clearing, S'thu's jetbike, driven by its powerful machine spirit, received the targeting data and dived towards the battle. Its targeters picked out the markerlit gretchin.

----------

Eadbasha couldn't believe his luck. He was about to defeat one of the big fighty humies in a duel! The Warboss would surely come good on his promise and let him command a squad of boyz after this. He was still thinking about this when the Punisher cannon blasted him to pieces.

----------

S'thu leaed backwards on to his bike as it swooped close to the ground. Releasing hi sbolter from the handy mag-clamo, he took aim and fired. A rocket-propelled virus grenade shot from the weapon and roared into the entrance to the rokk. The Warboss just had time to read the serial number - 2ND_ED. - engraved on its warhead as it slowed down to allow its inbuilt guidance system to take over. It made its way to the centre of the vast ship and detonated, its payload filling the corridors in minutes.

Warboss Squiglobba dived behind cover and watched in dismay as what was left of his army staggered from the rokk. He felt tears running down his slab-like cheeks and his voice grew wobbly as he shouted orders to his boyz. It was no use. Even though his warriors were pouring from the rokk, the jetbikes were cutting them down as they emerged. Within a few minutes, it was over. A single squad had defeated his entire horde. As he prepared to charge the enemy, a bolt round hit his chest plate and threw him on to his back, where he landed on Skarwazza.

“No...I'll never get to marry me yoof-hood sweetheart back on da homeworld now...” he murmured as S'thu stood over him.

Upon hearing this, S'thu took pity on him. “I am impressed by your nerve,” he announced. “Not many warriors would dare to come this far into Imperial space. Why did you come here?”

“We woz just lookin' for da lost city of da forgotten rulers of me people,” he said.

“My ship scanned the planet and I can tell you there is no such place here.”

“Dat tau fella tricked me!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Der woz dis tau 'oo woz all evil-lookin' an' funny-talkin' an' he come out of a swirly fing and told us to come 'ere.”

“Did he call himself the Warpmaster, by any chance?”

“Dat's 'im! If I saw 'im again I'd krump 'im good!”

“OK, well that sounds reasonable. You've impressed me and we share a common enemy. Do you and that ork you're lying on want to become Space Marines?”

Lol I can't believe I missed this second chapter! I think I might love it a little bit too much!

The virus grenade serial number was a particularly fine touch