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Made in ca
Flailing Flagellant





Aurora, Ontario

CHAPTER: The Angels Penitent (WIP, Story Blog)

(Chapter Name subject to revision)

Sister Angelica looked to the sky. She could hardly remember a time when they were not laden with clouds and the golden light of the distant sun. But now… now they were stained with blood red and tainted with billowing, dark plumes from distant smoking ruins. What had once been the beloved temple world of [REDACTED] was now turned to ash by the forces of Chaos, which had finally broken through after centuries of siege attempts.

She looked at the pict-feed of the compu-tablet in her hands. It showed the last received feeds from the various high cities of the world. Her heart was heavy as she looked at a pict of the high city of Acartheon. It had been raped and pillaged by countless Chaos marines and cultists, ancient statues and finely sculpted architecture destroyed with dark delight.

‘Dies irae… dies illa… Solvet saeclum in favilla’ She mentally recited, a prophecy from an ancient hymn. The Day of Wrath, that day, will dissolve the world in ashes.

And yet, there was still hope in her heart, if only because of them. Her gaze turned down unto the cathedral courtyard below. Row by row in its massive court they stood, watching the Chapter Master give His battle sermon.

“We, brothers, have been … tainted.” His voice faltered for a moment, betraying his weakness in faith… but not of the Emperor, nor the Imperium. No, of himself… and his Chapter. “The savor of battle and bloodshed has been too long wreathed upon our hearts. It has courted the dark abyss, our minds - while pure of intent - taunted by the allure of the damned…” He paused out of disgust. He spat the name like one would a mouthful of bile. “… the blood god.”

He paused, looking over the remnants of the once majestic chapter of the World Cleansers, a force which he had once led with pride. Now, he led it with shame.

‘…Ingemisco, tanguam reus. Culpa rubet vultus meus. Supplicanti parce, Deus…’ Angelica, remembered, her mind matching with heavy heart the events unfolding to that hymns dark prophetic text. I sigh, like the guilty one; my face reddens in guilt; spare the supplicating one, God [Emperor]!’

“Astartes! Which of us can truly claim purity!? Our cause has been noble and just, but our methods have wrought chaos! Who can deny in truth that we were not the final temptation that brought the daemons?” The Chapter Master bellowed, his powerful voice carrying with it the skill of having carried thousands of stirring speeches.

‘…Preces mae non sunt dinae; Sed tue bonus fac benigne, ne perenni cremer igne!...’ My prayers are not worthy: however, Thou, Good [Lord] do good, lest I am burned up by eternal fire.

“And so I ask of each of you for the ultimate sacrifice! Will you stand with me in this final battle against the Dark Ones? Will you wash our name clean in the cleansing fires of war? If our prayers to the Emperor be stained with the blood on our hands, will you back them with action?” He urged them with a skill that brought emotion even to the hardest of Astartes. “Hark upon these fair angels, who are mute in voice but their honors to the Emperor speak louder with their action than the loudest roar! Will you follow in their example? Or would you steal away their place upon the eagles that would carry them to safety?”


‘…Confutatis maledictis,
Flammis acribus addictis,
Voca me cum benedictis...’

While the wicked are confounded, (Once the cursed have been rebuked)
Doomed to flames of woe unbounded (Sentenced to acrid flames)
Call me with thy saints surrounded (Call Thou me with the blessed.)

‘Oro supplex et acclinis,
Cor contritum quasi cinis,
Gere curam mei finis.’

Low I kneel, with heart submission, (I meekly and humbly pray)
See, like ashes, my contrition, ([my] heart is as crushed as the ashes)
Help me in my last condition (perform the healing of mine end)


While she knew the prophetic verses… while she heard the Chapter Masters words… she still could not believe her senses. That battle honored Astartes of the World Cleansers chapter would give of their fleet of troop and weapons carriers, the last vessels that may carry them to safety of high orbit, would have been so unthinkable as to be blasphemy. And yet, there they were, the unmoving rows of warriors. Not a single one spoke to correct their leader, not a single one moved to depart from his lead. That they would stand underneath his speech, let alone choose to sacrifice themselves so that others may be saved, spoke volumes of their loyalty to the Chapter Master… and to the Imperium. She had not ever witnessed, or heard of, a chapter recognizing their sins and voluntarily paying penance for it on this scale.

‘If only those of the damned chapters that turned to chaos had half the loyalty,’ she thought, ‘perhaps this war could have been avoided.’

What struck her most was that this world had been left to burn by others. While many had fought to recover the most valued of relics and libraries and carry them further into the Imperium to safety, when things had begun to turn against them they had fled. And justly so, in a way, for what was left on this world - while plentiful in irreplaceable artifacts – it was largely belonging to that of the [REDACTED] order of Sororitas, of which Angelica belonged to. While her order was respected, it was not worth the price that the Imperium would have to pay to save it. And so all had departed to the nearest fortress worlds, distant light years away, leaving only them… and the World Cleansers chapter. They were the last defenders left, and while the Sororitas would fight to the last to defend their homeworld, the Astartes had no such reason to stay. And yet, here they stood.

While the fleet of thunderhawks and other carriers were loaded with the most vital of Sororita resources, with which they may continue their kind, the World Cleansers marshalled their forces upon the battlements below. It was truly a sight to behold. The Sororita Headquarters was itself built into the largest mountain upon the planet, a hulking behemoth carved deep into its protective natural layers of iron and adamantium. Upon its rockiest face stood the front of the fortress, its massive battlements master-crafted of hybrid layers of admantium, ceramite, plasteel and ferrocrete. Its design and construction had, of course, been only at the graceful hands of the Sororitas order - with minor help from the Adeptus Mechanicus - but it was only the more impressive for it. With females traditionally having few opportunities to show their leadership skill in the male-dominated manufactorum and mechanicus industries, this opportunity was seized to illustrate their skill matched any man.

It was designed to withstand nothing short of the apocalpyse, with bunkers and firing lanes implemented in every pathway, engineered to repel attackers and maximize the effectiveness of the defenders resources. Each corridor had at its end a bunker with fortified heavy guns and flamers, the corridor narrowing at its start to prevent any attacker's advantage of numbers. Triplets of ultra-dense admantium blast doors lined every entry and exit point, hardened against even melta cannons. These were all impressive each on their own, but the crowning achievement was its power source, which alone supplied the entirety of the facility's energy. It was forged in the heart of the mountain, not to protect it from the outside world but to protect the outside from it. This was because if - by some miracle - the power source overcame its safety measures and overloaded, the resulting meltdown would barely by able to held in by even the mountain itself. It was called the "Infinity Gate", an ancient device that drew its power from the Warp. It had been entrusted to the Sororita order many millennia ago, as it had been believed only with their iron resolve and intense faith could it function properly without risking bringing through it Chaos from the Warp.

It was believed that the Infinity Gate was a large part of the reason Chaos had attempted for so long to claim that world, as its demonic leaders wanted to corrupt it for their own uses. The Sororitas would not let such a thing happen, by any means necessary. Though with the Marines sending them off in the safety of their vessels that responsibility would fall to them, the World Cleansers. This had not been met without some resistance, of course. Some Sisters, either from devotion to their home fortress or through the belief that they were not worthy of trading their salvation for a Marines' damnation, had to be led at gunpoint to the transports.


(TO BE CONTINUED)

(to be continued, comments/constructive-criticism welcome)

This message was edited 6 times. Last update was at 2013/07/01 05:30:45


Age: 22
Space Marines
Imperial Guard
(Some) Sisters of Battle
Tyranids
Tau
Chaos Marines 
   
Made in au
Conniving Informer





Sydney

Cool concept, solid battle ruined world imagery, I like it.

I reckon this could work really well as a first-person perspective recollection or journalistic document. I'm not sure if the intent of the "REDACTED" is intended to show that, or if - when looking at the first bit about the chapter name - it means you were just working on the chapter name.

If you went with the first option and switched it to first-person, I think this would work really awesomely in that post-occurrence document style that a few of BL's authors have used so well.

Hope that helps!

"Write drunk; edit sober."

- Hemmingway

www.adriancollins.com.au
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Made in us
Slaanesh Veteran Marine with Tentacles





Green Bay, Wisconsin

Agreed above^

Formerly TheObsidianKing lost my password.

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Made in ca
Flailing Flagellant





Aurora, Ontario

 Gryamauch wrote:
Cool concept, solid battle ruined world imagery, I like it.

I reckon this could work really well as a first-person perspective recollection or journalistic document. I'm not sure if the intent of the "REDACTED" is intended to show that, or if - when looking at the first bit about the chapter name - it means you were just working on the chapter name.

If you went with the first option and switched it to first-person, I think this would work really awesomely in that post-occurrence document style that a few of BL's authors have used so well.

Hope that helps!


Yes the redacted means I haven't decided for sure what their name is. Their original name, that is.

Also, not sure what you mean by what you mean when you were talking about writing style. Care to give a few examples so I may better understand?

Thanks for the comments/criticism guys! I love hearing any/all comments.

Age: 22
Space Marines
Imperial Guard
(Some) Sisters of Battle
Tyranids
Tau
Chaos Marines 
   
 
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