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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/01 22:29:20
Subject: Craftworld Steamcrank
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Devastating Dark Reaper
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So this was the result of me reading through the webcomic 'Girl Genius' and thinking to myself, 'I bet this would make good source material for an Eldar Craftworld.' Yes, my entire Eldar collection is now painted in theme for this craftworld. ... I'm pretty sure the only defense I can claim is insanity.
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The Eldar of Craftworld Steamcrank have always been a little bit... odd. Steamcrank's founding has its origin in the heady days of hedonism and debauchery from the time immediately prior to the Eldar's fapping a chaos god into existence. Their founder, a somewhat eccentric elf who insisted that everyone must call him 'the Great Heterodyne,' had hit upon the idea of using brass and steel and steam-power in the place of traditional wraithbone designs. Some called him mad; perhaps he was. But none could deny that his inventions worked, though plenty were pretty sure they shouldn't be able to. By the time the Eldar race realized its error in attempting to divide by zero, The Great Heterodyne had gathered together a few thousand like-minded Space-Elves, had built a sizeable force of Wraithclanks and Steamlords, and was well on its way across the galaxy.
The ten year Sparkle-Steam war was the first time the Eldar of Steamcrank came into contact with the Imperium of Man: the Great Heterodyne had this amazing idea for a cup of coffee which achieved mathematical perfection, but since the Pretty Marines now controlled the Maiden World with the unique soil properties in which the coffee must be grown, the Great Heterodyne, being kind of a jerk and unwilling to explain a thing to the fool Mon'Keigh, saw no other option but to go to war. For years, the skies of Alcor 7 burned, choked with the pungent stench of charred coffee beans as the two did battle. The caffeine fueled rage of the Eldar met the calm, lilac-scented bishounen professionalism of the Pretty Marines, and neither was overcome. The conflict ultimately ended with the destruction of the planet. A thousand years later, as it turned out, the planet being reduced to a charred, lifeless husk proved critical in diverting the approach of a tyranid hive fleet that otherwise might have destroyed the Craftworld. The Great Heterodyne likes to claim that he foresaw this outcome from the beginning, but most people think he's just a huge jerk who's willing to let his fellow Eldar die for the sake of his morning cuppa. Other conflicts followed: the Eldar of Steamcrank have come into conflict with both the Reasonable Marines and the Angry Marines on several occasions, as well as fighting numerous campaigns against Orks, Tyranids, and many other races besides.
Steamcrank is one of the few Craftworlds not experiencing any shortage of Eldar to populate it. There are two reasons for this: one, every couple of years, an Eldar of Steamcrank gets the bright idea of trying to create an army of cloned soldiers as part of his or her latest mad genius plan, and two, the Great Heterodyne saw fit to create incentives for his people to actually produce children, including complete exemption from being a test subject in any experiment for the duration of their offspring's childhood. Not coincidentally, the Eldar of Steamcrank tend to have unusually large families with two, sometimes even three children!
Steamcrank is currently in the eastern part of the galaxy, and though the Great Heterodyne is at last joined to the heart of the Great Machine which powers the Craftworld, his two children and three grandchildren remain. The new generation is an adventurous sort, and are currently drawing up plans steal a Tau Gundam or two to see if it might unlock the secrets of the legendary Steamknight design.
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The color scheme for Steamcrank favors metallics. Naturally, their unmanned Grav-clanks, our Wraithclanks and our Steamlords are made of brass and steel, and their paint scheme reflects this fact. Their weapons tend to be made of mahogany and bronze.
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Hige sceal þē heardra || heorte þē cēnre,
mōd sceal þē māre || þē ūre mægen lytlað. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/02 03:40:53
Subject: Craftworld Steamcrank
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Conniving Informer
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Reasonable... Marines? Surely such a foul beast cannot exist!
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/02 03:42:42
Subject: Craftworld Steamcrank
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Renegade Inquisitor de Marche
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It's a 4chan thing...
They're not really meant to be taken seriously.
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Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
"You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/02 03:46:57
Subject: Craftworld Steamcrank
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Conniving Informer
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Bit of a funny piss-take?
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/02 03:53:09
Subject: Craftworld Steamcrank
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Renegade Inquisitor de Marche
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Kinda yeah. An attempt at least.
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This message was edited 1 time. Last update was at 2013/06/02 03:53:20
Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
"You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/03 07:10:17
Subject: Re:Craftworld Steamcrank
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Devastating Dark Reaper
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Reasonable Marines are Space Marines who actually use sensible combat doctrine. They do things like wearing camouflaged power armor, they use careful tactics that make heavy use of cover, and so on. As opposed to, you know, standing in the open for dramatic confrontations, charging headlong into an enemy gunline trusting your power armor and the Emperor to keep you strong, and so on.
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Hige sceal þē heardra || heorte þē cēnre,
mōd sceal þē māre || þē ūre mægen lytlað. |
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/03 10:22:59
Subject: Craftworld Steamcrank
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Conniving Informer
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I hate them already.
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/04 11:04:16
Subject: Craftworld Steamcrank
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Xenohunter Acolyte with Alacrity
England
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My day has just become a little more humorous, a very entertaining, if eccentric, read.
Have you posted this on 4Chan yet?
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"It is human nature to seek culpability in a time of tragedy..."
"It is a sign of strength, to cry out against fate, rather than to bow one's head and succumb."
-Cpt. Gabriel Angelos: Blood Ravens 3rd Company-
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![[Post New]](/s/i/i.gif) 2013/06/04 20:44:20
Subject: Craftworld Steamcrank
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Renegade Inquisitor de Marche
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He really should
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Dakka Bingo! By Ouze
"You are the best at flying things"-Kanluwen
"Further proof that Purple is a fething brilliant super villain " -KingCracker
"Purp.. Im pretty sure I have a gun than can reach you...."-Nicorex
"That's not really an apocalypse. That's just Europe."-Grakmar
"almost as good as winning free cake at the tea drinking contest for an Englishman." -Reds8n
Seal up your lips and give no words but mum.
Equip, Reload. Do violence.
Watch for Gerry. |
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