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So if you look under my username, I'm a "splattered with acrylic paint", and well, that's pretty lame. Is there anyway I can change this? Or do I have to do something specific?

Go to your profile, and up towards the top you will see a field marked 'Choose a ranking track'

Select the one you want, and you will have an appropriate title to match that track, which will change as your post count increases.

Alternatively, one of the perks given to Dakka Contributing Members (DCMs) is the ability to set their own custom rank.