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Hello,

I have been reading a lot of the fiction here so far.. gosh lots of it is great, I hope that I can at least be partially as engaging as some of the fiction I have already read. This is a story that I am developing for the army I am putting together. I'll go ahead and post up the "Persons of Interest"

Imperium of Man: Inquisitor Lord Saul Korvan - Ordo Xenos
The Tau Empire: Shas'nel Sa'cea Or'es
Eldar - Isa Maelevia - Autrarch of Craftworld Iybraesil

So this first portion of the story is the setting, then, the story will follow through the eyes of each character. The first part will be the Imperium of Man, then the Tau, and finally the Eldar.

Insignificance clung to Kastien IV like a disease. Once a planet of peace and verdant beauty, it had become a desolate rock clinging to its orbit like a dying animal. Lost for centuries to the Eldar, this Maiden world, this paradise, was lost. Its death had been slow and agonizing. Its surface ravaged by the lesser races of the galaxy, before its final demise at the hands of the Great Devourer.

The first taint to infect the planet was the Imperium of Man. Naive wanderers in service to a corpse king, those pitiful creatures spread across the planet like a virus. Entire eco systems were leveled in favor of crude hab blocks and forge towers. Slaves labored day and night, raping the planet of her resources. Smoke choked her skies and Kastein IV wept acid tears as hope faded for her recovery.

Imperial rule endured on a knife’s edge, working conditions driven by the wealthy aristocrats of a corrupt system. The truth of their endeavor, the “Imperial Truth” was that they mattered for nothing. They were cogs in an enduring war-driven machine, and were easily replaced when used up. How easy these pitiful creatures were turned by the first emissaries of the Water Caste. As a desert wanderer clings to the hope of water, so too did the slaves of Kastein IV cling to the hope of freedom and equality.

Within days of their first encounter with the Tau, riots and open rebellion spread throughout the populace. The planetary defense forces were ill prepared for an invasion, let alone one fueled by its own citizens. Hunter Cadres made planet fall and those that stood in their path were as dust in the wind. Another planet taken in the name of the Tau’va, another world subjugated.

The Tau had used insurrection to earn their prize, and in doing so had overlooked a dooming presence on the planet. Months before their arrival, an Imperial digging crew had unearthed an ancient xenos temple, a temple that garnered the focus of the Ordo Xenos. Inquisitor Lord Saul Korvan was dispatched to the planet to investigate, and upon his arrival, those ‘witnesses’ to the discovery were terminated. Knowledge of the temple was hidden from the world, and the Inquisitor’s presence kept a secret to the wider populace. Unbeknownst to the Tau, a signal was being broadcast, a signal that would spell further doom for Kastein IV…

There are some spelling mistakes, but other than that, it's foreshadowing something AWSOME!!

Definitely intriguing so far; I look forward to seeing this develop.

Some continuation...

Korvan stood amidst a swirling cloud of incense and myrrh. His eyes were closed, and his mind was lost in meditation. The room was quiet save for the soothing hum of his guardian servitor’s power source. No sooner has his spy network infiltrated the myriad echelons of society then that society crumbled beneath the lies of a xenos threat. Amidst the chaos of an Imperial fall, the only call for aid came from the Vae Victus, Korvan’s command frigate.

Two months of waiting, two months of imprisonment beneath the ashes of Imperial Truth. Korvan knew all too well the agonizing slowness of the Imperial War Engine. He had witnessed its failure doom the Faskel system to Waaagh! Guttrencha, 5 billion souls commended to the Emperor’s Grace. When the fleet finally arrived, they did so to charred ruins and twisted corpses.

His meditation was disturbed by the sudden movement of his gun servitor. Large pistons hissed, parting the incense to the movement of the lumbering machine. A small female in humble robes entered Korvan’s chamber, the incense cloud ensnaring her as she entered. Once near the Inquisitor, she took a knee and bowed her cloaked head.

Korvan raised a hand and motioned for the door. The whine of the gun servitor’s pistons responded and the mind-locked machine exited the room, allowing the blast doors to hiss shut behind him. When alone, Korvan slid his hood back and turned to the knelt female, “What word from the surface?”

“The final pockets of resistance have been felled. Total control has been ceded to the ‘Tau’va’.”

“And what of the captive?”

The woman hesitated, and then stood slowly, “He has been prepared m’lord.”

The Inquisitor reached his hand to the woman’s face and withdrew the hood exposing her pale, patrician’s face. He ran his finger across her cheek and then looked into her eyes. Try as she might, she could not refuse him, his gaze was hard and focused, “You are young and naïve Gosa, that is why I have tasked you with this.”

She attempted to turn away but Korvan was stronger. A single tear careened down her cheek into the Inquisitor’s hand, “Do you weep for it?”

No sooner did he remove his hand then the woman took another knee, “Please Lord Korvan, I beg of you, I am not ready.”

He smiled, and spun about quickly, his robes casting aside the remnants of the incense, “I know.”

***

Or’es lay chained to the floor, his face flat in a drying pool of his own blood. He regained consciousness with a gasp, his lungs drawing in as much air as possible in a panic. His attempts to stand were hindered by massive chains, anchored to a mosaic floor. Blood poured copiously from a cut across his forehead, staining the right side of his face crimson.

“You are afraid.”

Startled, Or’es turned furiously attempting to find the voice. As he turned, the rattling of his chains echoed across the space. Judging by the time of the echo, the room he was now chained in was quite large.

“Do you know your sin xenos?”

Again the voice echoed back, and it was impossible to pinpoint the location of the speaker. Anger replaced his trepedation and he struggled against the chains once more, “Show yourself!”
The sound of laughter resounded across the hall, echoing a cacophony of hatred, “Do not presume to order me creature.”

With a snap of a finger, light filled the room and the warrior saw two figures standing but a few meters away. One was dressed in lavish robes, his body encased in plate similar to that of the gue’ron’sha. The other seemed to be nothing more than a gue’la female, dressed in a plain white robe. Her face was covered, but Or’es noticed a sense of labored breathing, as if she were in distress.

The lavish one moved forward and spoke again, “I asked you, if you knew your sin.” He paced closer, his hands clasped at his back.

“Who are you? Where am…”

Before he could finish, an armor clad boot crashed across his jaw, blood spraying from the wound as he fell back to the floor. His head throbbed and his vision became blurred as he struggled to maintain consciousness. His assailant screamed down to him but the voice was muffled, his head ringing from the impact, “Do not question me alien! I ask the questions! You answer, or your pain will endure!”

When his vision focused again his eyes fell to the woman, the labor of her breathing was getting worse and she shook as she watched. Or’es pushed himself from the floor, and spit congealed blood from his mouth. He wiped his forehead, and his arm came away drenched in crimson vitae, “We have offered you peace, we have…”

This time, an iron-clad greave knocked him back to the floor, “What you have done, is doomed an entire planet with your lies.” A boot stabbed into his stomach, the air vacated his lungs and he was left to wretch on the floor as his tormentor continued, “You have doomed me to stagnate here in this shrine to some fake xenos deity.”

Or’es attempted to push himself from the floor as he gasped for air only to once again feel a jolt of pain in his ribs as the robed man kicked him aside, “Your sin is existence. It is the Emperor’s will that I am here to pass judgment on you and your kind.”

“Acceptance… or death…” Or’es defiantly pushed himself from the floor again, pain firing through his body, urging him to lay still, “Your… corpse king… holds no power here.” Getting to his knees, Or’es glared up at the armor clad gue’la, “Your resistance… will…”

As the hand of his assailant rose once again, another figure burst into the room, “Lord Korvan!” The man raced across the open room before kneeling before the robed figure, “We have received a burst transmission from an imperial fleet. Two full regiments of troops have made planet fall. The Imperium answers m’lord.”

Or’es watched as the one referred to as ‘Korvan’ turned briskly and moved away from their confrontation. He stopped at the female and threw back her hood. Tears ran feverishly down her face, her eyes red from weeping, “Your failure should be visible to all. Dispose of that thing, and then return to your quarters. I will think upon your punishment.”

The two departed without further word, and Or’es was left with the white robed female. Gue’la were strange creatures, what was the reason for this young one to be here? Was it a means to instill hatred in their youth? What did they gain from such intolerance?

She moved to him slowly, a small pistol in her hand. Or’es heard the click and hum of the power pack coming to life. It was a crude weapon, like most wielded by gue’la warriors… but it didn’t seem to fit her well, “Why do you cry?” His question startled her, and she tightened her grip on the weapon.

Her free hand wiped tears from her cheek and she looked on in grief and shame, “I did not expect it to be so difficult, taking a life. I was not meant for this brutality… I was not meant to walk this path.”

Or’es looked upon her quizzically, were the gue’la so primitive that they did not know their own place? Their society was perplexing to him, what path did she speak of? Why did they talk in such riddles? Their speech was so crude to begin with. Did they talk like this in gest? “I do not see the trappings of hatred in you young one. What is your name?”

She growled and leveled the barrel of the weapon to his forehead, her hand still shaking, “I am sworn to his service… to disobey him is to disobey the Emperor… His council is just, his decisions ordained…” Tears flowed from her eyes as she stared at the Or’es blank face.

“I do not understand. You speak as if reading. There is no sense of… what is the word that you use… threre is no conviction.” He tilted his head to the side once more. Would this be how his life ended? Would he breathe his last here? “There is no honor here. This is not how a warrior dies, chained like an animal.”

The gun fell from her grip as she dropped to her knees. She cupped her head in her hands, tears falling like rain from her face. What so tortured her? Or’es reached a hand to the young woman and placed it upon her shoulder, “Why do you cry?”

“Because I shame my family. I cry because I was too weak to serve the Emperor.” She looked up and wept, “I cry because I feel compassion for you.”

Compassion, Or’es was unfamiliar with the term but considered it a reason for his continued existence, “Is this a bad thing young one? I do not understand.”

She shook her head and undid the chains around his arms, freeing him. He did not understand what she was doing but stood up as she freed him. His legs were shaky from dis-use, and his vision blurred as he attempted to right himself. He stumbled and placed his hand once more upon the shoulder of the young girl, who stood slowly to right him. She held the lasgun in her hand once more, “I hope the Emperor will forgive me…” She pushed Or’es away before placing the barrel beneath her chin. He reached for her but it was too late.

Her body fell once more to the floor and Or’es watched as her blood mixed with his own. For the first time, he saw her blue eyes shine like glass, she would cry no longer.