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So I sincerely doubt this list will win, but my hope is that it will be fun and completely unexpected. Not sure what chapter tactics to use.

HQ 1- Captain, power sword, plasma pistol, melta-bombs
with...
Command Squad, Apothecary, x2 flamers, meltagun, plasmagun
in...
Drop Pod, deathwind launchers

Troop 1- 5 man tac, ML

Troop 2- 5 man tac, ML

I've never played against low point total lists before...is this just going to get annihilated? For additional absurdity I was thinking of doing a chapter master/honor guard in the pod instead.

I think taking the Chapter Master & Honor Guard would be a lot better than the Captain and Command Squad. 2+ saves are very good in 500 point games.

Alternatively, I would run an Assault Squad over the Command Squad. A 5-man assault squad with 2 flamers is a cheap unit that can put the pressure on early. I don't have my codex with me, but by dropping the unnecessary wargear you should be able to fit this:

Librarian
-Force Axe, Biomancy

Tactical Squad
-Meltagun, Combi-Melta, Drop Pod

Tactical Squad
-Plasmagun, Combi-Plasma, Drop Pod

Assault Squad
-2 Flamers, Drop Pod

You should have some points to spare to add wargear as you see fit. This list will give you 2 pods on turn 1. The Librarian joins the Assault Squad and provides assault buffs with Biomancy.

I love it, you rarely see units like command squads or honor guards in many games, let alone at 500 points.

As far as winning goes, I don't think it'll do too bad. You covered your bases well with your weapon choices.

How would that fare vs.
HQ -
Ethereal

Troops -
Kroot
Kroot

Fast Attack
Pathfinders +1 model

Heavy Support
Hammerhead +submunitions
Hammerhead +submunitions

Total = 485
With 15 points for whatever upgrades you want, maybe a disruption pod or sniper riles for a Kroot squad.

Two Hammerheads is nasty in 500 points. The Space Marine player will have the initiative as his entire army is in reserve, meaning he will always shoot first. I have no doubts that this list can destroy a single Hammerhead before it shoots. I would rather be the Space Marine player in that matchup.

EDIT: After checking points in my Codex, I have realized that the Space Marine list can be much better...

HQ
Librarian 65
-Force Axe, Biomancy

Troops
10 Tactical Marines 210
-Plasmagun, Combi-Plasma, Multi-Melta, Drop Pod

5 Tactical Marines 125
-Meltagun, Combi-Melta, Drop Pod

Fast Attack
5 Assault Marines 100
-2 Flamers, Sergeant has Meltabombs, Drop Pod

Total: 500

This list has everything needed in a 500 point game: Flamers, redundant Melta, and plenty of Bolters. The large amount of special weapons combined with a guaranteed alpha strike makes this a very formidable list. A single Heldrake will ruin it's day, but that is true with most 500 point army lists.

You're right that would probably crush that list. Haha good to know!