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Let's hear your favorite saying's or quote's.My latest favorite quote I have seen goes"Men use love to get sex.Women Sex to get love.I use coupon's to get pizza."

""

Why are there more horse's asses than there are horses?

"There's money in religion, and religion in money."

You may be a king or a street sweeper... sooner or later you dance with the Reaper.

There are an awful lot of rather unusual/uncommon words that I tend to throw in wherever possible in conversation, mainly because I just like them as words.

Favourites:

Discombobulated (spellcheck doesn't like it but it is a word, means confused or disorientated)

Ultracrepadarian: long dead, but this one means someone who talks a lot about something they don't know that much about. It could be and is applied when describing a lot of teachers I've had over the years, as well as a fair few politicians.

Lots of quotes from Blackadder/Monty Python/Dad's Army/Only Fools and Horses.

"The are two great days in a person's life; the day they are born and they day they find out why."

For More, Here's a Cool List!

Some prime exampes;

”Nothing is impossible, the word itself says ‘I’m possible’!”

"If you can’t be criticized for it, it’s probably not remarkable."

"Remember that guy that gave up? Neither does no one else."

"Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies."

Build a man a fire, he’ll be warm for the night. Set a man on fire, he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.

"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken"

 Ensis Ferrae wrote:
"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken"

It does, however, make you look hella rad.

In reply to somebody saying they'll do something you don't want them to.

"Don't bother your arse!"

Has to be said in a Scottish accent.

"Soli Deo Gloria"

"NEVER trust an elf!"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A real friend will be sitting in jail with you.

Common sense: so rare, it's a super power.

I'm not crazy, but the voices in my head are fething nuts.

Duck tape is like the force.Their is a light side and a dark side and it surrounds and binds the universe together.

Ah! thread about sayings! Now comes the monkey out of the sleeve!
Dutch expressions are funny when you translate them, so this thread is corn on my mill.
I will give you some Dutch speakwords and outsayings, but if you can't make chocolate from it, don't blame me, I'm not trying to chase you into the armour against me.
I will set everything on hairs and snares so that it will be as clear as a little lump to you, and I think it will be, because you are not from yesterday after all, but if you are unable to rhyme it, too bad, peanutbutter.
It is not your fault if you don't understand a ball of it, because Dutch sayings hit like a pair of tongs on a pig.
Now you may be thinking that I'm just talking like a chicken without head, but I am not. I have hacked with this axe before, so I am not just grabbing you by the nose.
As I said before, if you don't understand one or two of these sayings, don't sit down with the packs, I have sayings with the drift nets. You may think those sayings hit side nor shore, but trust me, each one is a truth like a cow, there you can take poison on.
It stands like a pole above water that I am poking the dragon with this, but don't give me the wind from the front, I may act like no water is too deep, but I have only got a small heart.
This may not set any sods on the dyke, but it is funny, so don't be such a wooden Klaas. And if you don't think it is funny, at least pretend to and laugh like a farmer with toothache.
But if my sayings are really such a thorn in the eye to you or if your belly is now full of it, than I guess I have reckoned without the innkeeper and now I have lost the clutch.
So I will choose eggs for my money and put the bullet through the church. I will turn the prow about and no longer chase the cat into the curtains. I will hang the winch on the willows and throw the axe down with it.
I hope you enjoyed it and that it did not go above your hat. But remember, one should never look a given horse in the mouth.

I am sorry, I just couldn't resist the urge
My favourite Dutch proverb (or actually it is a Wellerism to be precise) is: 'All little bits help, said the mosquito, and she pissed in the sea'.
My favourite English saying is: 'I can't wrap my head around it'. It is hilarious when translated into Dutch.
Russian has some pretty awesome proverbs as well: 'Having a good wife and rich cabbage soup, seek no other things.' 'Every peasant is proud of the pond in his village because from it he measures the sea. '
My favourite quote is from Nietzsche: 'If you gaze into the abyss for too long, the abyss gazes back into you.'

eldar 1 wrote:
Duck tape is like the force.Their is a light side and a dark side and it surrounds and binds the universe together.

My favorite saying's what? I don't understand.

I probably have the longest saying.
"No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were: any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee. Neither can we call this a begging of misery, or a borrowing of misery, as though we were not miserable enough of ourselves, but must fetch in more from the next house, in taking upon us the misery of our neighbours. Truly it were an excusable covetousness if we did, for affliction is a treasure, and scarce any man hath enough of it. No man hath affliction enough that is not matured and ripened by and made fit for God by that affliction. If a man carry treasure in bullion, or in a wedge of gold, and have none coined into current money, his treasure will not defray him as he travels. Tribulation is treasure in the nature of it, but it is not current money in the use of it, except we get nearer and nearer our home, heaven, by it. Another man may be sick too, and sick to death, and this affliction may lie in his bowels, as gold in a mine, and be of no use to him; but this bell, that tells me of his affliction, digs out and applies that gold to me: if by this consideration of another's danger I take mine own into contemplation, and so secure myself, by making my recourse to my God, who is our only security."
Mediation 17 John Donne

Don't worry, we're Chinese Canadians from Nebraska. We got this.

"Marriage is a duel to the death which no man of honour should decline." -G.K. Chesterton

 ScootyPuffJunior wrote:
"Marriage is a duel to the death which no man of honour should decline." -G.K. Chesterton

"Then war has broken out... whether you know it or not. A long, grueling, intoxicating war!" ~General Martok on Marriage

Love is a state virtually indistinguishable from severe brain damage

No idea who this was, so if anybody knows, please fill me in. I want to be able to give them the credit that's due.

Asking a Redshirt for rules clarification is like taking financial advice from a homeless person.

"If you're skating on thin ice, you may as well tapdance."

(if you're going down no matter what you do, do something WORTH going down for.)

Only two things are infinite. Human capacity for stupidity and the universe - and I'm not too sure about the universe .

Beauty fades, but dumb is forever.

You can also never go amiss with a few words of wisdom from the late, great Douglas Adams:

'Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so.'

'the difference between something that cannot posssibly go wrong and something that can is when the thing that can't go wrong does, it's impossible to get in an fix it.'

'Ten out of ten for style, but minus one million for good thinking.'

'there's a knack to flying, which is to throw yourself at the ground and miss.'

@Iron Captain: post of the year so far, hilarious stuff!

Oh-I forgot: "take time to appreciate the little things"

Thank you, Zombieland!

 Medium of Death wrote:
In reply to somebody saying they'll do something you don't want them to.

"Don't bother your arse!"

Has to be said in a Scottish accent.

Well I'll be saying that a lot from now on.

 Monster Rain wrote:

 Medium of Death wrote:
In reply to somebody saying they'll do something you don't want them to.

"Don't bother your arse!"

Has to be said in a Scottish accent.

Well I'll be saying that a lot from now on.

Don't bother your arse.

Just a few of my extensive list of Favorites

Doing favors for friends is like giving Bonbons to fat people. They'll just ask for more. ~ Rat

It never 'just a game' when you're winning ~ George Carlin

"The very existence of flamethrowers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, 'You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.'”
- George Carlin

"There are no rules here - we're trying to accomplish something."
- Thomas Edison

“Remember the first rule of gunfighting: 'have a gun.'”
- Jeff Cooper

“During the Middle Ages, probably one of the biggest mistakes was not putting on your armor because you were 'just going down to the corner.'”
- Jack Handey

“If a person offends you and you are in doubt as to whether it was intentional or not, do not resort to extreme measures. Simply watch your chance and hit him with a brick.”
- Mark Twain

"Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.”
- Abraham Lincoln


“We can't all be heroes, because someone has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by.”
- Will Rogers

“Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say that there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.”
- Frank Zappa

The reason to build large creations is because peaople need a place to put the really big guns - Mike Rayhawk

“ Whoever said 'the pen is mightier than the sword' obviously never encountered automatic weapons."
- General Douglas MacArthur

“I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.”
- Mark Twain

40,000 awesome points to the one who can name where these most saying appear